Killing What Scares You

Don’t kill what scares you.  Embrace it!

What scares you the most is your raw, untamed authenticity.

istock_000003792360xsmallWhat scares the hell right out of you is the crazy brilliance that you know you really are.

This post is a call to action for those who want even more inspiring and fulfilling work.  If you really love your job – quit reading now.  But if you really want to bet the farm on you – read on!

As a career coach, here’s the question I hear most often.

“What will I be when I grow up?”

Here are two better questions.

“What was I before I grew up?”

“What wild part of me have I allowed to be beaten down and killed, for fear of being judged?”

Never destroy any aspect of personality, for what you think is the wild branch may be the heart of the tree.  Mrs. Henry George

Cultural conformity is fear-based pressure created so the real you doesn’t rock the boat

Accumulated conditioning, rules and collective fears, all pushing societal stability, will continue to separate you from your authentic wildness, if you allow it to.

Most folks claim they want their authentic freedom. But they act as though they want stability and safety.

Stability and authenticity exclude one another.

Take a stand.  Refuse fear.  Live fearlessly.

Allow your authentic wildness to flourish once more.

Don’t kill your wildness.  Flaunt your wildness.

If you really didn’t give two shits, about what anyone would say or think – what would you do then?

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Dr. Seuss

Choose boldness!

Your time is now.  Waiting is stupid, fearful thinking.  Quit listening to those who fear their own power.  The cement truck could flatten your ass tomorrow.  How’s that for timing?

It’s not timing but expressed uniqueness that truly determines exceptional success.

We increase the probability of creating a life of freedom, fulfillment and financial prosperity to the degree that we are willing to express our exceptionality.

It’s time for you to choose.  Quit allowing cultural appropriateness to crush your wildness.

It really does start with not giving a damn.  What do you think the world rewards more, being nice or being authentic?

By choosing authenticity you’re going to piss some people off.

So what, what has playing it safe done for you so far?

Be naughty.  Misbehave.  Break some stupid rules.

Be the eccentric character you really are and some may hate you.  But some will adore you.

Your only obligation in life is to be true to yourself.  Being true to anyone else or anything else is impossible.  Richard Bach

Don’t wonder what you’ll be when you grow up.  You’re already too damned grown up.  Be a kid again.  Ride your wildness all the way to the bank.

I’m not just all talk about this.  I deliver.

Bold lives are chosen and created.

Have you the courage to create the life you most want to live?

No excuses, you either do or you don’t. If this time doesn’t work for you, go here to request your own test drive coaching experience.

Embrace what sacres you.  The world is waiting for your light.

Daily Decision Strategy

Making decisions is essential to success. Without a decision, we cannot follow through and complete.

This truth seems so basic and obvious.  Why then do so many get so hung up in daily indecision?   I’m sure you know that completing priority items is optimum.  But decision making requires courage and sometimes we’d rather distract ourselves than choose.

The Daily Decision strategy works well on the tail end of the Go Direct strategy. Understanding and using the Daily Decision strategy causes one to quit second-guessing and to complete.

This strategy is not used for momentous career and business decisions.  It’s best used for daily personal productivity enhancement.  If you find yourself questioning what you’ve accomplished at the end of the day – this strategy is for you.

The marketplace pays us for completions.

Daily Decision Strategy Steps

1). Choose two, and only two, important things to complete today.
2). Identify what completion looks like so you’ll know it’s complete.
3). Schedule a time (I use one hour per item), set a timer and remove yourself from all other distractions (turn off email, phones, etc.) until complete.
4). Choose only things that meet these criteria:  A) You are eager bring your best to it.  B) Its completion inspires you.  C) Its completion creates progress for a greater objective.
5). Complete both items in the time allotted.

Inspiration and eagerness are vital to completion because obligation is resistance and you can’t complete something while fighting it at the same time.

Understanding Decision

Strategies are often deceptively simple to follow but laden with hidden blessings when followed.  Often these energetic blessings provide greater value, in the form of well being, than the completion itself.

But there’s a downside as well.  When we talk a good game but don’t follow-through on a strategy, we create unrest and self-doubt.

Actually using the Daily Decision Strategy brings forth five powerful energies, all directed for your greater greater good.  Yet it’s impossible to enjoy the five following energies without first making a decision.  Declaring what you want is essential.

1). Energy of Decision – Decision expands possibilities through trial and error.  Increased mistakes lead to more options, which create more opportunities, which always lead to greater freedom.  Decision making brings determination, resolve, boldness and a fixed purpose, which is built right into this strategy.

2). Energy of Commitment – Your commitment is your pledge and promise to fully engage in what you say is important to you.  Commitment is your assurance that you can trust yourself.  Clients new to coaching will often over-commit.  While you are getting the hang of this strategy, it’s important to promise less and to fulfill every promise.

3). Energy of Accountability – Accountability proves your responsibility or your ability to respond.  When we tell our intentions to another, we’ve stepped our game up a notch.  We’ve decreased the possibility of failure simply because another person is aware of our plans.

4). Energy of Self-Honor – Holding oneself in the respect of high regard brings a scared element of esteem along with the characteristics of integrity and courage.  Without honor we betray our original blessing of capability and we feel the shame of non-action.

5). Energy of Completion – Completion creates integration between you and your desires. Completion is conclusion, fulfillment and fruition, which are necessary to recognize your own competence to life.

Using the Daily Decision strategy will boost your objectives forward while increasing your joy and fulfillment.  Feel the natural power in decision, commitment, accountability, honor and completion and you’ll no longer question what you’ve accomplished at day’s end.

Decide.  Commit.  Be Accountable.  Honor Yourself.  Complete.

Starting Over

starting overStarting over at any age is more than possible. I get occasional emails from desperate readers who think they have totally screwed up their lives.  They think they can’t afford to hire me as their coach but they reach out, hoping for help.

I’ll often ask them to do something simple, like read a blog post and email me back what came up for them.  Or I’ll send them a couple of questions by email.  But rather than just answering the damn questions – they’ll write back telling some pathetic story about why they can’t start over.  Bull! Starting over is really your only choice.

It really doesn’t matter how far you’ve fallen or how long you’ve been down.  I know.  I’ve hit bottom and we can always wipe the slate clean and make a fresh start. Always.  At any notch, on the way down, I could have decided to stop there and start over.  I’ve written this post for everyone who thinks it’s too late to create the life or business you most want.

What if there was only one universal truth and all we had to do was get busy following that simple message?

Would you follow this message?

Starting Over

Be yourself.  Stay present.  Trust yourself.  Take frequent action.  Start over.

What if you didn’t need to know anymore than you know right now in order to turn your life around?

What if you are already brilliant enough and equipped enough to get what you want?

What if you already know what you need to know to make your best move?

What if you’ve repeatedly made the right decision but for some reason you’ve second-guessed yourself and needlessly stopped short of action?

You are closer than you think you are.  You’re almost over the hump.  Starting over is always a matter of being present and letting go of the past. Your desire is telling you where you need to go and most likely you just need to be bolder sooner while going for it.

Just because there appears to be a lot of folks selling you how-to and what-to-do, you don’t have to buy it.  Often they only know what’s best for them.

You are the best source of your own wisdom.

For a couple of weeks now I’ve been thinking about this commonly shared story about the gold rushes.  There is a mini series showing right now called Klondike that illustrates my point. History shows that more folks got wealthy by selling pans, lumber, shovels, sex, booze and supplies, to the seekers of riches, than those who actually struck it rich.

This story is now told to illustrate the wisdom for becoming a how-to-get-rich info marketer.  The promise is, by selling books, audios, videos and memberships sites, that teach others how to get rich, you’ll get rich.

Like many of you, I’ve been intrigued by the possibility of online riches.  In the past, I’ve shelled out my bucks for all kinds of “can’t miss” info-products and deals.

But here’s why I’ve been questioning this modern day gold rush.  I think, just like the original, it may be a business model based on illusion.  An illusion based business model is one that sells more hope than substance.  Am I nuts or is this really closer to the truth?

image53

We say we like connecting, expressing and media socializing, but how much of this would we be doing, if we didn’t think that it would lead us to finding online gold?

I go back and forth on how best to claim online gold.  I question the value of social media frequently, yet I’m still using it, so I’m not judging any method.  If anything I’m confused as hell as to where it’s all going?  But I’ve learned that confusion often signals opportunity.

I do know this; when I stake my own claim, in this online gold rush, I’ll only sell a how-to system that helps you to express and promote your own uniqueness. That’s the best shot we all have at riches.

Your best shot at riches is to express your authentic uniqueness.

I’ll only sell what I and my clients have proven. That’s why I’m such an advocate for life coaching. Coached people more often create the lives and businesses they want to create. Coached people take more action so they fail and succeed faster, sooner.

Those who think they can go it alone without a mentor or coach are the really crazy ones.

Coaching works because it respects and honors individuality.  Any coach worth his or her fee will help you to take action swiftly and do it your way in a way that promotes your uniqueness.

Some of what I know will work for you and some won’t.  It’s my job as coach, to create the structure and environment that will have you repeatedly choosing, acting, failing and adjusting.

Fail faster better.

Fail more often and you increase the probability of succeeding.  Get to a place of not giving a chit about the outcomes and you’ll try more things.  Try more things and you’ll increase the probability of stumbling on something that works.  How’s that for certainty?

It doesn’t’ matter how often you fail and have to start over.  What does matter is that you do start over. Starting over is your new lease on life. Jump in and enjoy.

Start over. Be yourself.   Stay present.  Trust yourself.  Take frequent action.   Start over.

Contact me here to for a free starting over session to find your aliveness.

How To Create and Complete By Using Strategies

istock_000006400586xsmall

A strategy is a plan of action.  It’s a method for creating, doing or accomplishing something.  We often hear of Marketing strategies, Business strategies, Brand strategies, etc., but the entrepreneurs and businesses owners I work with in my small business coaching practice mostly need Creation and Completion strategies.

The marketplace rewards completions.

In 10 years of business coaching I’ve developed several effective strategies so that my clients can follow through and complete what they say is important to them.

In an effort to stick to a more reliable posting schedule, look for a small business strategy every Thursday.

In previous posts, many readers commented on my challenge of telling the whole truth to yourself about yourself.  It’s an essential component of playing a bigger game.

Well-engaged strategies encourage radical honesty.

When used correctly, a strategy offers us four gifts that unplanned creation does not.  These gifts are, approach, focus, intention and game plan.

1). Approach is the access or entry point for the strategy.  More than half the battle is getting started, and certainty of approach allows us to hit the ground running.

2). Focus allows us to create an environment and a structure most conducive to successfully carrying out our strategy.  With focus we can simply drop everything that does not advance our chosen strategy.

3). Intention dictates our overriding posture while carrying out the strategy.  Lightness, flexibility, urgency and intensity are all examples of a guiding intention.

4). Game plan is the procedure, plan, process or system that’s all laid out for us in steps to follow.

GO DIRECT is this week’s strategy.

When business owners aren’t completing or creating programs and projects, I’ve found that fear is needlessly complicating their efforts.  They’ve fallen prey to distraction, procrastination, avoidance or perfectionism.  When any of these are in play, owners often fear the very action that would set them free.

The GO DIRECT strategy lasers in on only the actions that most directly help secure what we want.  But since we’ve needlessly complicated things, we have to first drill down to identify what we really want.

Step One is > Identify precisely what you want.

I’ve had clients tell me they want to “get the word out” about their small business. In coaching, I’ll ask them “what will that do?” They’ll say, “It will help us to be seen.” I’ll ask, “What will that lead to?” Their response “Well if we’re seen, we’ll be an option when prospects are looking.” “Looking for what?” Finally they say, “to hire us to (fill in the blank).”

You see where this is going? They don’t really want to get the word out, to be seen, or even to be seen when prospects are looking.  What they precisely want are clients.  So why not GO DIRECT to securing clients?  Social media, blogging and other forms of marketing can be less than direct means to get a client.  So my coaching client and I will agree to a number of very direct client acquisition actions.

Step Two is > Describe exactly what you want, in vibrant detail, so you’ll know it when you see it.

If you want clients, somewhere the client you seek is seeking you.  If you can describe that client, understand her needs and think about serving her, you are actually using strategic intent to increase the probability of being hired by her.

Step Three is > … actually Step Three is to use a different effective strategy for daily completion, which I’ll share next Thursday.  Many strategies play off one another to create the business you most want.

Do you routinely follow-through on what you say is important to you?

If you don’t follow-through, then take charge by working a strategy that works for you.  Strategies are deceptively simple.  But don’t let their simplicity keep you from using them.

Strategies can save your life and your business.

Do you use creation and completion strategies in your life or business?

Want a test drive coaching session where we tackle your biggest business challenge and agree to the most effective strategies to get what you want? All you have to do is ask.

How To Play a Bigger Business Game

istock_000005171756xsmallIn my small business coaching, when I come across struggling small businesses, it’s often because they lack the driving focus of a clear business purpose.  Is your business purpose clear enough to burn your boat on the shore?

Using the game model of business building provides a committed purpose.  Playing the game of business is more focused, effective  and fun.

Games have beginnings, midpoints and ends.  Games have ground rules for guidance.  Games have clear objectives and you know when you’ve won.

But the business game model doesn’t work if you just go through the motions.  Uninspired business building sucks almost as much as working in a job that does not bring you alive.

Fortune favors the bold.  Virgil

In order to engage massive inspired action, one must be pumped about playing a bigger business game.  What does playing a bigger game mean to you?

To truly play a bigger game one must embrace:
1).  Greater Decisiveness
2).  Unwavering Commitment
3).  Laser-like Focus and
4).  Swift Follow-Through.

Be inspired to a Viking-like commitment.

Playing a bigger business game is not rocket science.   If you’ve ever competed, you know how eager you are to score and win.  Do you have that level of eagerness in your business building?

If not then perhaps you’re following someone else’s business dream and not your own.  It’s hard to get pumped up about a second or third place dream.

Winning requires enthusiasm.  Without enthusiasm, bold commitment feels more like obligation than eagerness.

Do you feel more obligated than eager to build your business?

Then you may want to play a bigger business game.

Recently I offered the experience of this game at no charge.  Just being on the phone and present with others who are bold enough to go for a bigger game is a lift in itself.

The opportunity to be stretch coached on your most pressing business challenges is invigorating.  I coached my top three strategies to play a bigger business game.

But are you committed enough to follow-through?  Many aren’t and that’s why I raised the participation bar for this free experience.  Here’s the class description.

Breakthrough Business Coaching; How to Quit Messing Around, Turn Your Life Around & Play a Bigger Game

To the degree that your life sucks, your business suffers.  Everything’s connected to your fearful thoughts and it all counts.  It’s time to quit underestimating your capacity.  If you’re ready to set aside your fears, boldly turn things around and play a bigger game to win; here’s your shot.

This call is not for wussies or for those who cannot focus enough to follow-through with simple requests.  After registering you will receive an email from Tom that requires another action.  If you can’t follow-through, please don’t waste the time of those of us who are seriously intending to create a breakthrough.

Of 14 who registered, 7 followed through and 6 of those 7 actually showed up.  Raising the bar allows the cream to rise to the top.

Would you make the cut?

It’s challenging to play a bigger game while standing on the sidelines.  It’s impossible to play a bigger game if you’re still in the stands watching others play and win.

What do you think of the game business model?

How To Get the Best Career Advice

There’s a source of the best career advice available to you but you don’t trust it.  You don’t trust this outstanding career advice because it doesn’t seem like a valuable, little know secret.  Will you trust a career coach, with 10 years of career coaching experience, if I tell you the secret?  istock_000007706240xsmall

You are the source of your own best career advice.

If you’re confused and troubled about what to do, then you just haven’t asked your higher self or you haven’t believed what you’ve heard.

What if you had a loving, wise Uncle or Aunt whose only agenda was your success and fulfillment?  Would you trust him or her?  Well you have such a loving mentor and he or she is your higher self.

Career success requires bold decisiveness and your higher self can inspire you to action.  But you’ve got to be open to communicating with your all-knowing, higher guidance system within.

It’s all good.

You can’t choose the wrong advice, if you’ve gone to your own well.

It’s all good, means that whatever we choose, the movement gives us fresh perspective, to either progress or adjust.  It’s all good when we choose and act.  It’s seldom good when we hesitate to act.

You are your own best authority.

There are many ways to tell if you’re really getting good career advice by tapping your true source of wisdom.  Consider these symptoms and indicators.

Lower Self Symptoms

1). You wait, hesitate to act and over-think critical decisions.

2). You justify, explain and excuse your lack luster performance.

3). You seldom give it your all.

4). You often focus on past mistakes and future fearful what ifs.

5). You compromise and settle for smaller dreams, often suggested by others.

Higher Self Indicators

1). You more often act and create.

2). You tell more truth than excuses.

3). You bring your “A” game.

4). You are fully aware of the power of now.

5). You are working on a first place dream that brings you alive.

Isn’t it time that you quit playing small?  The world needs your magnificence.

Each day, you have this choice.  You can take your career advice by listening to your higher self and boldly act.  Or you can cringe and hide while listening to your little self or the lower fearful opinions of others.

If we are going to insist on identifying with just the little self in here, then others are going to bruise it, insult it, injure it. The ego, then, is kept in existence by a collection of emotional insults; it carries its personal bruises as the fabric of its very existence. It actively collects, hurts and insults, even while resenting them, because without it’s bruises it would be literally nothing. Ken Wilber

If you want more than you have, you’ve been giving less than you can.

We give less than we could be giving, when we fail to act on higher advice.

Our Higher Self cannot take action.  It cannot make choices.  It can nudge us and guide us and hand us painful lessons, but it cannot “make us” do anything.  Andrea Hess

It takes balls to follow bold career advice.  Often by taking action to build a small business or create unique value, we put ourselves at risk.  So what.

The absence of risk often indicates that we are playing too small.

Quit listening to your fearful, lower, little self.   Playing small serves no one.   Compromises may seem prudent but they’re just fearful hopes lacking passion.

You can find your own best path.   A confident  career coach can hold the light steady and challenge you to play a bigger game.  But you are the source of your own best wisdom.

Do the thing that only you can do.  Go big!

Be who you are.  Who you are is your higher self.  You’re lower self is simply a watered down fearful version conditioned by the collective fears of other small selves.

The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.  Rollo May

When times are dark and you pray for help, it’s always good to remember this.  Upon creation you were already given all that you need.  You arrived here equipped for magnificence.  You don’t have to ask for deliverance. You’ve already been delivered.

You’ve simply forgotten how magnificent you really are.  Go within, ask, you’re higher self will show you the way.

 

Free Yourself

We gain the greatest freedom from cutting our own ties. Ties that bind us to old agreements and roles, need to be broken, when once freely chosen activities now feel like obligations. istock_000005716223xsmall

Self-created ties are complicated, because like any relationship, liberation is more challenging in the presence of emotional entanglement. Our dysfunctions become comfortable. Fortunately there are effective decision-making tools available to aid this process.

In the comments of my last post, Juliet at Life Made Great, asked me for an example of how I use this question posed by Peter Block in his book, The Answer To How Is Yes. What is the question that if you knew the answer, would set you free?

Here’s my formula for using this powerful transformational tool.

1). Trust yourself. You know what’s best for you better than anyone else could know. Until you recognize your caring wisdom within and act accordingly, you will continue to search for answers outside of yourself.

2). Tell the truth to yourself and identify an unmade decision that is weighting heavily on you, right now. Unmade decisions are fail proof indicators of where you are losing focus and energy. Delay is extremely costly.

You will always suffer when your mind wants two opposing things at once.  Byron Katie

3). Decide to ask the question.  We suffer only because we haven’t chosen. But instead of choosing we try to do more.  It’s crazy because we add when we need to be simplifying.

We often seek productivity and time management solutions that only serve to make us realize how far behind we really are.  Sometimes we just can’t catch up.  Instead we need to declare a fresh start by setting fresh standards.

Time management is not about organization; it’s about boldness.  Steve Chandler

4). Ask the question. What is the question that if you knew the answer, would set you free?

5). Write down your question and answer it.

6). Follow-through and act on the answer. Without action you are disrespecting your own wisdom.

What happens when it all works as designed?

Here’s how I used this process recently.  My coaching business has been booming.  It’s become very clear, that I need to cut way back on some blogging and social media activities, in order to focus more on delivering break through results for an increasing number of clients.

Yet I’ve struggled doing so, mostly because I truly enjoy and value the connections I’ve made with you, my fellow bloggers.  I’ve been grieving the loss of supportive Tom who once visited and return commented on every commenter to his blog.  But I was fearful of cutting back as well.

Fear-Based Marketing

Blogging and social media can become extremely fear-based marketing.  It becomes fear based when we fear the consequences of not doing it well or frequently enough.  Social media by nature, is a reaching-out activity, to those beyond your closest circles.  The further away from intimate connection marketing is, the more fear comes along for the ride.

But that’s the beautiful thing about fear; if you really look at it, fear goes away.  I’ve realized that my true connections will respect my decision.

What is the question that if you knew the answer, would set you free?

My question.  How can I feel really good about my decision to radically simplify my life?

My answer.  I can feel really good about my decision to simplify my life: by cutting ties that feel like obligations, and by declaring new standards for blogging and social media participation.  Here are my new standards.

I do not market based on fear of loss or how I look to others.

Before engaging in social media activity I’ll ask this question.
Is there a more direct way to make connection?

I am free from all obligations and I do nothing that feels like an obligation.

I blog only when I am inspired to encourage and inspire others.

I exercise my right to totally change my mind when it feels right to do so.

I am free.

What is the question that if you knew the answer, would set you free?

What unmade decision will set you free?

Want to experience masterful breakthrough coaching at no obligation? Join us on March 18, enroll here.