Archives for June 2009

To Hell With What They Say

I’m a 270-pound, 59 year old, with two ankle fusions, who is in training to play one more game of rugby.  Often they ask, why subject yourself to the very thing that destroyed all the cartilage in your ankles?  istock_000003152335xsmall2

What they may never understand is that while playing rugby I feel most like myself.  Most of my deeply fulfilling flow experiences have come on the rugby pitch.

I wonder, what’s your one more rugby game?

There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.
Howard Thurman

There is great value in doing something organic to who you are.  There is great honor in deciding – screw them.  Be.  Stand tall in your own skin.

A life of engaged authenticity carries great benefits and rewards.   Somehow this choice of authentic bliss extends to other areas of our lives.

The demonstration of unique self-honor creates an attractive self-confidence that cannot be created in less genuine ways.  It’s that bona fide self-confidence that makes us feel competent to life, as though we really fit the game of life.

Somewhere in your life right now is a dream, a passion, a quest or simply an enjoyable pastime that you may have set aside because “they” said that you should.  To hell with them!  Be your own bad ass self and dust off your true desires.

True callings need no further explanation.  They don’t need to make sense to anyone.

Can you imagine how beautifully different our world would be if everybody said? “To hell with them, I’m going for it! ”

I talked to a right livelihood client this morning that is terrified of discovering a vocation that would require further schooling.   In my post Screw Going Back to School I talked about this myth that someone else knows better than you do, what’s really good for you.

Ideal careers and businesses are more often created than found.  Creators don’t need further education because creators credential and qualify themselves.

Sure, really going for it is scary as hell but there is a version of you deep within who does not want to settle in any aspect of your life.  That bold being wants to experience all the necessary bumps, disappointments and scrapes on the way to really living.

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming  ‘WOW-What a Ride!'”
Robert Wickman

There may be a time for caution but from what I’ve seen, caution is only a self-constructed cage that delays courage and holds back the real freedom of living.

What is your one more rugby game?  Will you commit to playing it?

The Missing Link To Business Start Up Success

Too often the founders of start up businesses keep things to themselves for far too long. Without the willingness and ability to bounce ideas off the right people, would be entrepreneurs unnecessarily delay a successful business launch.  istock_000005716223xsmall

In 1999 I’d been coaching for a little more than a year and a prospective client was interviewing me to determine how well we might work together.  I can still recall the conversation 10 years later, because Bob understood the value of paying for an objective truth.

Client Bob explaining, “I just want you to listen closely while I talk though my business challenges.  That will be invaluable to me because you’ll be the only trusted person in my life without an agenda.  My boss, my wife, my children and my co-workers all want something from me and thus they are all biased towards their own motivations.  I just want you to listen and to occasionally give me a straight, unbiased opinion.”

Bob and I worked well together for over a year because my only agenda was his success as he defined it.

The Value of Objectivity

The straight up truth is very rare and extremely valuable for business start up success. Yet it can be challenging to get someone to tell it like they really see it.

Where do you get your totally unbiased, independent feedback?

Is your source truly objective or do they have a hidden agenda of their own?

Closeness is not always a good indicator of objectivity as this post on spousal support suggests.  The closer one is to you the more difficult it is to remove their personal fears from the advice they offer.  Often unwillingness to leads to diluted, sugarcoated advice.

Survival fears also heavily influence what’s shared.  I’ve seen large organizations where everyone is afraid to tell the leader that he’s wearing no clothes.

Your Business Is Very Personal To You

You and your business start up ideas are separate.  Yet being able to really hear feedback and receive it without getting defensive requires that the source of the feedback be skilled in communicating it.

Truth can be personally challenging to accept, especially when it comes from a close friend or relative.

You Get What You Pay For

Trust and confidence needs to be unquestionable.  In matters of law we have no trouble hiring an attorney to present us with our options.

As a coach I am a fierce advocate for coaching because  I’ve seen so many potential entrepreneurs die with their music still in them.  Often the death of their initiative can be traced to fearful free advice offered by a friend or relative.

Paying for an environment conducive to start up success along with the trust and confidentiality that only a business coach can provide is essential when faced with crucial career and business start up decisions.

Consider your current source of business advice and ask these questions.

Can I be sure that they are putting my best interests first?

Have they demonstrated a capacity to tell the truth while at the same time unconditionally supporting my efforts?

Do I leave conversations feeling more inspired and much clearer about possibilities?

Am I inspired to confidence after these conversations because I’m now armed with methods to create what I want to create?

Coaching delivers all of this and much more.

Unbiased Feedback Presents Priorities

What’s the number one priority for any business?

Delivering a uniquely better product, profitably, to more clients.  That’s it.

But so many start up entrepreneurs in the planning and pre-startup stage are working on everything but that.   They’re spending weeks thinking about domain names, business names, tag lines, business plans, brochures, forms, etc, etc. etc.

Instead on concentrating on the main thing – a better service and happy clients.

Could straight up advice delivered in clearly supportive fashion be your missing link to start up success?

If you’d like to enjoy a truly stimulating exploratory conversation contact me to realize the possibilities.   Explore shaking things out in the true spirit of brainstorming, championing, encouragement and unconditional support.  Hire me as your coach.

Stop Playing Small

Playing small does not create magnificence. rasied-hands1

Deep down you know this.  Deep down you know that playing small serves no one.  Deep within you resides the spark of a big dream just waiting for your decision.

What’s your one thing that would change everything?

If you could make one thing come true that would change everything, what would that one thing be?

If you told the whole truth to yourself – you’d have to admit that you do have the capacity for greatness.

What is your big dream?

Can you at least admit that you’d be better off with one?

If you can, that’s where it all starts – imagining the possibilities.

What’s your overriding dream, objective or guiding desire?

Do you have a blog without a purpose?

Do you run a business without a clear path to how you want it to end up?

Do you have a desire to feel the freedom of owning your own business but lack the insight or courage to make it happen?

If you have no wish, how can it possibly come true? Seth Godin

Indeed, how can it?  After reading Seth’s Ruby Slippers post I am inspired to add to his thoughts.

You know that you’ll never hit a target you haven’t identified.  So what stops you?  Is it fear of failing or succeeding with something that really matters to you?

What could you be best in the world at?

I’m curious, what keeps you from deciding and declaring that thing?

What keeps you from even considering the possibilities?

What is your main thing?

What goal, objective or dream has you aglow in the possibilities?

Ponder that thing.

If you aren’t yet playing as big a game as you could be,  start here and answer these questions.

Who would I be most inspired to serve?

What realized dream would open my heart the widest?

What could I be doing that would make my life feel like one glorious joyful glide?

That’s my main thing, guiding you to discover and ride your joyful glide.  Contact me today to explore the possibilities.

Five Disturbing Ways To Make More Money

If you want to make more money you must radically disturb your current money making methods and disrupt your money earning patterns.  istock_000007398707xsmall

To earn more money you must vigorously shake things up.

In this post I talked about doubling your income.  By March I had increased my income but I was falling short of doubling it. I knew that I’d have to adjust to achieve my annual objective.

The thing I love about being a one-man conglomerate is, I am the company. The self-employed can turn things around on a dime, try more stuff, fail faster and adjust.

Earning money is such a wonderfully twisted, emotionally laden experience.  Perhaps you’ve recognized the futility of trying to figure it all out.  Even those who earn a ton of the stuff are still in fear of it, or more accurately in fear of losing it.

When it comes to making money about the only thing we can count on is confidence.  Somehow income increases along with confidence.

But the part that most folks miss is the brilliance of individuality in creating confidence.  Moneymaking methods that universally work well are more hype than fact.  What works for someone else is most likely will not work for you.

So how can you confidently express your individuality to earn more money?

Shake things up.  Disturb the hell out of what’s not working.

From a state of being shaken you’ll be more likely to take frequent action, embrace mistake making and choose again.  That doesn’t happen from a state of certainty.  Certainty encourages us want to stand pat.

Trial and error are crucial to unearth your freedom.  As long as you are willing to fail again you are as close to freedom as you’ll ever be.  Egbert Sukop

Here are five agitators that have seemed to work for me.  I can’t tell you what combination will work best for you – that’s the beauty of individuality.  But if you want to make more money, begin by engaging the strategy that scares you the most.

1). Triple your service and double your fee. Step up and play a bigger game.  Increase the value of your service by increasing your commitment to your client.  Increase the value of your service by increasing your consciousness about your client’s business.  Increase the value of your service by coming up with ways to make your client’s clients more prosperous.  People pay you what YOU think you’re worth.

2). Flaunt your individuality. Really how are you different?  What quirks define you that you can bring forth in service to the world?  Our world is half-empty without the expression of your sweet spot.  Our world is half-full when you have the balls to even consider coming all the way out.  Being your wild self is liberating as hell and others want to encourage your liberation by supporting you.

3). Carry a flag that rallies your niche. Understand what that flag represents to those who are drawn to rally round it.   I carry two flags.   I carry the flag of self-employment because self-employment offers the most supportive structure for freedom and individuality.

I also carry the flag of coaching because the essence of coaching is insight discovery.  Coaching accelerates realizations and demands living an examined life.  At least the way I do it.

I absolutely love coaching the self-employed who want to earn more money and freedom by flaunting their individuality.  I also love coaching courageous first time entrepreneurs through the process of business discovery, launch and startup.

I carry the flag by challenging first timers to leave the slavery of employment and by challenging the already self-employed to express themselves even more boldly.

That is my sweet spot and the world is a better place because I’m fully engaged and fiercely serving there.  If you can’t boldly make a statement like that – then you are playing too small.

To make more money – play a bigger game.

4). Ruthlessly simplify. Simplification encourages clarity.   Clarity empowers focus.  Quit trying to be all things to all people.  Start saying no thank you more often.  Cut down on everything.  Become a missile of destruction to everything that does not serve you well.  Constantly question your activities by asking these questions.  “Will this increase my earnings?  Does this directly increase the value of my service?”

The more simple and focused your life is, the more wealth will be created.  Steve Chandler


5). Increase your willingness to choose.
Then see what happens, adjust and choose anew.  Delay is always costly.  Delay almost always signifies the victory of fear over choice.  What would increase your willingness to choose?  Do that.

Make your decisions more valuable by seeking out many more options before deciding.  Anything you can see in hindsight was there in foresight; so keep looking and expanding your options.

After deciding then commit with every fiber in your being.  Really go for it.  Come alive by backing your own choices until it’s clear that they aren’t working and then swiftly repeat the process.

Commitment without attachment to results is empowerment in action.

Quit standing pat.

Shake things up.

Be your bad ass self and earn more money.

Ready to make your courageously leap to the prosperity and freedom of self-employment? Then enroll in this free coaching expereince to identify your next best step.

Too Good & Challenging To Miss

Readers of this blog know that I love wake up calls and fresh smacks in the face.  I’m convinced that the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to tell the whole truth to ourselves about ourselves. Great idea!

Realizations are essential to creating the life you want to live.  Never stand pat.   Choose powerful stimulating experiences.  Coaching is really an experience in insight stimulation and engagement.

Fresh realizations come charged with the energy to create.  That’s why it’s so important to seize your moment of discovery with bold action.

So here’s some truth jarring stuff I’ve come across lately for your reading and listening delight.

Bill Weil has made his powerful relationship book, New Earth Relationships, available on audio down load.  It’s so good I use it as a tool with my relationship-coaching clients.

In the Crappiness of Happiness Egbert Sukop will piss you off, shake you up and give you a major case of head scratching.  I love what he says about the “bitch lag”.

In Are Your Dreams Big Enough, Slade Roberson asks some wonderfully challenging questions.  Answer them – you could change your life.

What are you reading or listening too that rocks your world?

Back Up One Step and Choose Your Right Path

Success can be very simple.  istock_000003253553small

We needlessly complicate both life and business.

Use this checklist and locate where you are.

Make the necessary adjustment and get unstuck.

1). If you are not celebrating enough then be grateful more often.

2). If you are not grateful often enough then complete more often.

3). If you are not completing enough then act boldly more often.

4). If you are not taking bold action often enough then ruthlessly simplify and commit to less.

5). If you are not committing to a few consciously chosen priorities then be more decisive.

6). If you are not being decisive enough then go deeper within and tell the truth to yourself more often.

If you are not going deep enough to see your truth then what in the hell are you doing here?

Both life and business need your willingness and enthusiasm in order to thrive.

Not sure of your next best step to launch your new business? Then join me on June 17 for a FREE group coaching experience that will guide you right.