Archives for May 2010

Top Ten Tips For A Confident Career Change

confident career decisionConfidently making a career change comes first from you knowing and believing in yourself. Assured action then kicks in to confirm the  right move for you.  Use these ten tips to move from confused, doubtful and uncertain to enthusiastic confidence.

One framing, bonus tip before we begin.  Career wisdom most often comes in the form of active verbs rather than final professions. Fulfilling work is more about what you’d be doing rather than what you’re called while doing it.

Too many career seekers try too hard to see the end game.  They first try to identify the profession and that’s wrong.  Trying to imagine whether you’d like to be a butcher, baker or candlestick maker is putting the cart before the horse.

I’ve been career coaching for 12 years and here’s a question I ask every potential client.  “If the best career change for you, happens to be creating your own business, are you willing to seize the freedom of self-employment?

Any response less than a strong yes, generally means that a client is either unaware of or doesn’t agree with, one of the following career change truths.   If you’re hesitating with a career change decision, carefully look them over.  You’re solution is to understand and embrace the truth(s) you find yourself resisting the most.

1. The absence of risk often indicates that you’re playing too small. There is no such thing as authentically playing it safe.  You can’t compromise yourself into a fulfilling and successful career change.  Getting real has nothing to do with being realistic and everything to do with self-honor.

2. You can’t see around the bend without getting off your ass.
No matter how good a career decision looks on paper you really won’t know until you step into it.  You can’t see what doors may open until you walk down the hall.  Knowing that truth will allow you to keep your cool, stay present and observe.  Adjusting actions and seizing opportunities as they arise, can make a once shaky decision a brilliant one.

3. Ease into change or make the big leap but don’t straddle. Straddling the fence is painful because it hurts no matter which way you fall.  Change doesn’t have to be a big leap off the cliff.  You don’t have to immediately quit your job and leap.

Entrepreneurship isn’t right for everyone.   You could even begin taking control of your career and advance your professional goals by earning one of these online degrees MBA.  Some of us love the leap and don’t sweat burning bridges.  Others have more of a toe-in-the–water style.  Be who you are.  If you’re naturally an ease in to it person, be that in your change.  You can start small in scope but remain large in authenticity. One way of starting small authentically is to create an authentically inspired product.

4. You really won’t care as much about the money following. Money doesn’t always follow doing what you love.  However, do what you love and fulfillment does follow.  Once you taste fulfilling work you just won’t care about the money as much.  Then a funny thing happens.  Once you’re not so afraid about making money you become more confident. And money does follow confidence.

5. As long as you choose you can’t really lose.
The only way you can make a big mistake is to ignore the longings of your heart and stand pat.  Settling sucks, for a day or a decade.  Don’t waste another day in soulless work. The instant you know in your heart, that you’re unfulfilled, decide to choose another path.

6. Desire = Proof of Capacity.
If you didn’t have what it takes to turn your idea into a business or a fulfilling position – that idea would not have come to you. You are enough.  You have what it takes.  You are more than enough to live the purpose you came here to complete.

7. Quit worrying about looking like you know what you’re doing.

Fear of looking like a fool will keep you from getting what you want.  Egbert Sukop.

Few of us ever do actually know what we’re doing.  But we are remarkable beings in our ability to land on our feet.  Every thought you have about what someone else might think of you is pure bull.  They just don’t care that much.  Start being your own authority this minute. What you think about you is the only thought that counts.

8. Find and follow your enthusiasm. Journal. Observe. Take notes of every appealing idea.  If a certain business or career change appeals to you, dig deeper and identify exactly what you find appealing about it.  Look for and record all themes of enthusiasm; they are valuable signposts.  Your life has been nudging you in the right direction.  Open your eyes and notice the nudges.

9. Be sure to imagine the upside.
So much of change seems to over-emphasize the downside of what might go wrong.  Remember; the reason you’re seeking a career change is to be fulfilled and happy in your work.  Imagine how gloriously delightful it will soon be to bounce out of bed each morning eager to face the day.

10. It’s all about fit, first and foremost. If you are miscast in your work you are out of place.  Out of place means out of authentic alignment with who you are.  Out of alignment means out of luck and good fortune.  Be authentic and make your own luck by understanding your authentic career change elements.

Which tip do you need to embrace the most right now?

Want to discover your right work once and for all?  Contact Tom for an exploratory coaching session to find your career clarity. 

Jumping To Conclusions – In Love and Work

If you haven’t found work that you love – you might find a clue in this post about finding the love of your life.

Behavior is a funny thing to put your finger on.

Most of us have a pretty foggy idea of why we act the way we do.

Beliefs, fears, values, needs and wants all influence our behavior.

It’s amazing how seldom we even consider our motivation.

But that doesn’t stop us from jumping to conclusions to explain the behavior of others.

The last frontier in human relationships may be the wild, wild west of online dating.   I kid you not.  Many women put up better pictures of their cats, dogs and horses, than of themselves.   I often wonder what kind of love they’re really looking for.

Yet I am having a ball searching for the love of my life.

I thought it might be fun to jump to a conclusion and share it with you.

My experience

Approximately 70% of women looking for love online say they want two things in man, honesty and a sense of humor.

Yet is it fair game to expect honesty but be unwilling to deliver it?

If you really want to experience the delight of natural humor then quit using it as a mask to hide your true emotions.

Saving Vulnerability

Here’s what I mean.  I bring my A game to every relationship, no matter how brief. I’m authentically expressive, vulnerable and often robustly direct.

Here’s an excerpt from my profile where we are asked to describe what we want in a match.

I want stand-by-me loyalty. I want frequent verbal and physical demonstrations of our love. I want no pretense, so a down-to-earth, authentic woman is my preference. I want a courageous woman who will ask for what she wants and I want to know what she needs. I don’t want to be put to the test or be required to guess. Finally I want to be allowed all the way into her heart so that the most trying and vulnerable times only make us love one another more.

I’ve learned not to settle. I’m looking for the love of my life. I’m romantic, strong and vulnerable. I believe the best adventures are of an inner nature. I like exploring deep consciousness, deep emotional connection and the deep delight of our bodies. If I fall for you, I’ll get ahead of myself. That’s why I’m bearing my soul here. I trust you to tell me what you like, want and need. I want to love and be loved.

I’m very comfortable sharing my deepest emotions and truth. I express meaningfully and well in all manners of communication, verbally, written and well, you know. 😉

If you want to be championed and accepted for who you are, I’m your man. I must admit a preference for a full head of long hair. I want to be able to lose my mind burying my head in your hair. I melt when you show your ears and wear your hair on top of your head.

I’m visually stimulated but just as much turned on by penetrating conversation. I prefer tall over short and hot over not. I understand that some ladies in my age range have lost their libido. Please find it before contacting me.

Yet I’ve so far encountered very few women who are willing to match my forthrightness.

Why is that?

If we can’t speak from the heart, in matters of love, where can we?

Some women protect their vulnerability like it’s their virginity.

Is genuinely expressed, self-awareness, such a rarity that it’s meant to be grudgingly doled out?

If not for a possible love of your life, for whom are you saving your awareness and vulnerability?

Waking all the way up

Awareness is simply choosing to observe oneself in both thought and action and then being willing to adjust accordingly.  I like this question.

What am I thinking and doing that’s contributing to what I’m experiencing?

My jumped to conclusion

Being cautious, taking it slowly, not wanting to get hurt, not wanting to get your hopes up, are all conveniently crappy excuses to hide behind.

I know you’re afraid; so am I.   But I can’t see the real you when you’re hiding behind the symptoms of your fear.

I’ve had my heart broken, more than once and it’s one of the most powerfully alive experiences I’ve ever encountered.  Why run from that?  What better wake up call to evolve from?

Perhaps these women simply don’t know themselves that well or they do and they’re afraid to come out as the incredibly messy beings we all are.

Gender Disclaimer

Just as I don’t intend to bash women, I’m not excusing the stupidly juvenile behavior of many men.  I know what frustrating idiots we can be.

I also know that any heart must first be open to receive authentic love.

I’m concerned about this post coming off as bitter.  I’m not.  This doesn’t describe every woman I’ve met.  A few know themselves well and they aren’t afraid to express as the delightful angels that they are.

I also understand that there’s an incredible volume of hurt to work through before most can openly love and freely express love.  I wish I could give everyone of you a big hug but I can’t, if you won’t let me get close enough to reach you.

Work that you love

What’s this got to do with finding work that you love?  Actually it applies very well.

Can you speak to the connection?

Care to jump to your own conclusions regarding my experiences or this post?

Have at it.  Lord knows, I’m willing to be a fool for love.

Announcements & Resources

If you’ve struggled with career change clarity you’ll want to attend this free phone class: How To Clearly See What You Ought To Be When You Grow Up

New Career Change resource pages are up at CoreU CoachingCareer Change and Discovery, Starting Your Business and Nine Elements of Authentic Career Discovery.

Create Your Inspired Info Product In Five Days, is an excellent, low risk way to start your own business.