I’m Betting On Your Authentic Good Sense

Have you ever been left with a feeling of frustration and empty promises after watching a video from a big name guru? Here’s the tipoff. If they say it will be packed with lots of content – it usually isn’t.

I wasted about 12 minutes watching one recently because the link came from someone who I used to trust.

But I smelled the stink early and checked the comments and that made me feel good. Sure 90% of the comments were of the brown nosing variety but it was the 10% that spoke the truth.

Some of these guys are so good at repeating the “what” 20 different ways that they confuse you into thinking you missed the meat. You didn’t miss it. Real meat wasn’t served, only the come on.

Then I realized. I already know more about how to treat a seeker than this guy does.

I already care more, share more and know more, than this seemingly well-respected guru was willing to share in his entire 90-minute webinar.

I bet you’re just like me. I bet you’ve read enough and experienced enough to be of great value to many.

I bet you know what’s authentic and what’s bull.

I bet you’re more ready, than you think you are, for whatever big change you want to make.

Readiness is a choice not a state of being.

Who are you when you dream big? Be that person.

I’m betting that you’re ready to make your move, right now. You are the source of your best career change advice.

Sometimes we simply need to quit seeking. Sometimes we need to quit following the guru and become the guru.

How about you? Are you ready to put your authentic good sense on the line? I’m betting you are.

Leveraging Your Deepest Wound

We’ve all been through hell in one way or another. I’ve lived 60 years and I’ve met one person, a 30-year old woman who told me nothing bad had ever happened to her. Just two months later her husband ran off with a co-worker.

Stuff happens. You know by now that it happens to all of us. Some think that our experience was so beautiful, before we came here, that we wanted to visit Earth just for the contrast.

Well folks, for now I’ve had enough contrast. How about you? Are you ready to return to bliss?

I think the doorway to bliss runs straight through the pain and understanding offered by our deepest wounds. Whatever that profound life experience was for you, you would be well served to leverage it so that you could benefit from it.

Normally when we say “it’s all good” – it’s after a big hurt when we are coming to terms with a disappointment or an outcome that at the time was devastating.

You’ve paid the price why not claim the prize?

The wilderness constantly reminds me that wholeness is not about perfection…. I have been astonished to see how nature uses devastation to stimulate new growth, slowly but persistently healing her own wounds. Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. Knowing this gives me hope that human wholeness–mine, yours, ours–need not be a utopian dream, if we can use devastation as a seedbed for new life. Parker Palmer

Parker Palmer is a very wise teacher. He understands the value in devastation.

How about you? Are you leveraging the gift of your deepest wound or are you still running from its pain?

We don’t have to hit bottom to really learn these big lessons but it certainly gets our attention.

You could be leaving gold on the table. If this idea appeals to you just ask these three questions.

What’s good about my wound?

What has it enabled me to see that I could never have seen without it?

What message might I see if I dared look?

The Authentic Way – Both Alone & Together

Where are you most likely to express authentically? While in community or while being a strong individual?

The more we express our authentic uniqueness, the more likely we are to enjoy fulfillment, prosperity and freedom, …in a word success.

So if success is based on the expression of authentic uniqueness what causes you to feel safe enough and strong to express authentically?

In what environment are you more likely to take a stand? I’ve witnessed heights of individual expression within supportive community that could not have even been birthed walking alone.

But yet there is the beautiful paradox. Standing tall as individuals, pushing back at conformity, best occurs in a connected environment, with the support of others.

In order to come into your own, you must not stand-alone.

Parker Palmer endorses the paradox.

Your most beautiful and most valuable expression of authentic individuality cannot be reached by going it alone.

Being the rugged individual of American myth is actually less courageous, than standing tall in relationship.

Community inspires. Community provides connection and meaning.

The most loving, confident and strongest version of you only emerges in deep connection with others.

Be fully you, while being with me and we’ll see one another as we are meant to be.

Have you experienced bolder individual expression within community or by going solo? Have you experienced unconditional support?

Why Ask Why?

Frequently I run into life coaching clients who desperately dig to understand why they do or don’t do certain things.

They can see that these things aren’t working well so they reason, that if they understood their motivation, then they would cease repeating the wayward behavior.

Yet knowing why you persist in a behavior that’s not good for you won’t necessarily stop you from doing it.

I’ve coached lots of folks who did manage to understand that why and they still kept right on digging. They saw the real reason but didn’t accept it as the truth that it was.

Often things look too simple to be true. But they are.

So when faced with a recurring challenge it’s often fruitless to understand why. Why? Why is it fruitless?

Because the quest isn’t worth the prize. It often costs too much in expended energy for it to be worthwhile.

Often the quest for why will lead to a whole series of downward spiraling questions. Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? Why?

The quest for why often turns your attention and energy to more of what you don’t want.

The way to get what you want is to turn your attention and energy on what you want. Light that up!

So the next time you’re tempted to ask why, instead ask; what do I really want? Then ask, what would be likely to get me what I want? What could I do now to move just a little closer to what I want?

Then do that thing. You’ll be happier and much more productive.