This is the commencement address you probably won’t hear.
It’s my life’s work to help others find their work life freedom. I believe that work life happiness and work life freedom go hand in hand. In terms of the work choices available to new graduates and their willingness to seize their work life freedom, not a lot has changed in the 46 years since I’ve graduated college.
New graduates with technical skills can generally find higher-paying entry-level employment. But this message is for well-rounded, right–brained, Bachelor of Arts grads – the modern day generalists and renaissance men and women. You are dubiously blessed with many interests and the ability to do a lot of things well. Who you are, what you can do, and the options available to you are could seem to make your employment prospects gloomier.
But if you know yourself well and are willing to take a stand for what you care about – you can turn the odds in your favor.
Many new graduates allow past decisions to get in the way of present moment power. I get it. You’ve worked hard and maybe borrowed lots of money. I understand you’re worried about paying it back. But focusing on past decisions will only make you hesitant. You have options. You can always consolidate student loans and make a fresh start.
In 1973, I was you. Much like today, it was a tight job market for new graduates. I had just graduated with a degree in Political Science that I suspected I’d never apply to my actual career. Social unrest and the Vietnam War had soured me on ever working in politics.
I began to look for work. After a few months, my options were between two lousy choices. I could enter the management-training program of a national steakhouse chain, or I could take a self-employed position selling life insurance on straight commission.
I often wonder what turns my life may have taken if I had chosen differently? I was young and ignorant, yet I accepted the insurance opportunity simply because of the work life freedom it offered. As long as I sold enough, no one told me what to do or where to go – and I found that deeply appealing. I made an important decision based on what I valued, even if I wasn’t even aware of the concept of values until much later in life.
That’s my point. Even though you may be unaware of it – your life is speaking to you right now. Are you listening? To do so, you’ll need to tune out all the chatter of well-meaning folks who want you to conform and take the best job you can get. But is a job really right for you? At what price will you compromise your freedom and your happiness?
If you are one of those uncertain renaissance folks, I want you to know that you are truly more fortunate because you don’t exactly fit any existing employment positions. I know this can be a very scary time for you. Many of you feel that getting a job means growing up and surrendering your freedom. Well, you’re right about that. I can understand your hesitation; who in their right mind voluntarily surrenders their freedom?
Your true calling is right now speaking to you though your life experiences. Take the pressure off yourself. Know that your true calling can change through the years and it’s better to jump in whole-heartily than to sit on the sidelines cautiously.
I also understand that a lot of fear around the lack of money comes into play in all of your decisions. You may need to temporarily put your dreams on the side burner while you create a small financial reserve. But even if you go for a job for only financial reasons, allow your heart and soul to have some say in the decision. Every choice you make has consequences. Even some for-the-money-only jobs are better for you than others.
I’ve seen a lot after 20 years of work life happiness coaching. I’d like you to consider this. What if you didn’t have to give up your freedom? What if you could be paid well just for being yourself? Would that be appealing? What would you do if you knew, beyond any doubt, that the following three statements were true and would turn out to be true for you?
1. Even now your life is trying to speak to you through your available options. It may be hard to get your attention, but somewhere among your options is a choice that will ultimately serve you well because it will put you on the path that is a better fit for who you are. It’s your duty to choose the option that will make you feel most alive.
2. It’s more likely that you’ll find your work life happiness and freedom in a self-employed opportunity of your own creation than in the higher paying, but much more restricted, life of an employee. Your parents and most everyone else will want you to be cautious and go for the steady, more stable financial situation. This will calm their fears, but they aren’t the ones who could end up slaving away in uninspired work for the next 35-40 years. You are. It’s your life and your choice.
3. You may not think that you have what it takes to be your own boss own right now, but your suitability to life and work will increase sooner by boldly claiming your freedom now. The longer you wait to be the person you really are, the more difficult it will be to choose what makes you happy. Even if you miss badly, the experience of going for it will ultimately pay off for you.
Life is challenging. However, by being genuine and by making authentic choices, we get more competent at living. Meeting challenges, and not just going through the motions, is the only kind of life worth living.
“Self-esteem fully realized is the experience that we are appropriate to life and to the requirements of life. To trust one’s mind and know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem.” Nathaniel Branden
You are worthy. You are capable. Who you are is enough to create a life of freedom and happiness. Get started today. You can be true to yourself now or you can believe in the “make money first” myth and hire a career coach like me after two decades of uninspired living. The choice is yours. It’s your life. Be happy now.
Sigh….wish I knew you when I first graduated!! I would have gotten some things right instead of getting into so many hard knocks!
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Maps last blog post..How To Multiply The Energy Behind Focused Attention
Tom, would you please give this speech to my daughter when she graduates? 🙂 Although maybe she’ll be like me and insist on tilting at windmills …
When I graduated from college, I was determined to be an opera singer. I fully embraced the starving artist stereotype, working at temp jobs that allowed me to take singing gigs on the side.
I think sometimes there is just as much pressure to go against the grain as there is to conform. I wish I’d had the confidence to know that I could get PAID to be who I am. I wish someone had told me that making a good living did not mean that I was surrendering my dream.
We can get caught in an either/or mentality that is completely out of alignment with Abundance. In the end, we have to embrace that EVERYTHING – passion AND financial security – is available to us. We don’t have to choose one or the other.
Blessings,
Andrea
Andrea Hess|Empowered Souls last blog post..Cultivating Inner Wisdom
The only problem with wisdom is that it’s wasted on the young!
I don’t really believe that, well maybe just a little bit 😉
Tim Brownsons last blog post..Oh Crap!
Why couldn’t you have written this when I graduated two years ago?! 😛
I’ve spent the best part of those two years in a job that has taught me a bit, but mostly shown me that I’m far happier in a self-employed setup than in a company. I’ve been working FAR harder than I ever did as an arts student to do freelance work on the side.
The good news is, I’ve managed to get some small regular jobs, and build up my savings, so that I’m confident enough to make the jump out of that job and do what I should’ve done in the first place — work for myself.
I handed my notice in this morning, and it feels like I’m about to return to truly being “me”…
Evelyn I’m with you there. I wish I had known this when I graduated. 🙂
Andrea okay book it – I’ll do the talk. That’s interesting what you said about the pressure to go against the grain. Did you mostly put that on yourself? I agree that we don’t have to choose one or the other. Absolutely that’s what abundance is the best of all.
Ali consider yourself blessed to have found out what you know within just two years. I applaud your wisdom and your courage. I’m sure it will soon be rewarded.
Wow Tom, you’re really a risk-taker. Your message is something I found really true, the longer you follow the career path that you don’t like, the harder it is to leave it.
It does take lots of courage, and don’t you think we need to count and take stock of our capabilities before really looking forward to quit your job and follow your passion?
Thanks,
Robert
Robert A. Henrus last blog post..How to overcome limitations
Tom, I agree with everything you say here except the idea that you should start out on your own right away. Most 22 year olds don’t have the necessary skills to start their own business. I think people should start off working for someone else, where they’re learning what they need to know to strike out on their own.
Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life
Tim I know what you mean. However the young have come along way since you and I were young. They are exposed to a lot more intellectual stimulation and concepts that I didn’t even consider until my forties. Thankfully opportunities have kept pace with the speed of change and more and more young folks are willing to listen and consider alternative paths.
Robert absolutely it’s wise to take stock of our resources including time, finances and talents before taking action. Tolerance for risk is different for each individual. But everyone needs to look within and make sure that we are not kidding ourselves by using money or anything else as an excuse to postpone our move to freedom.
Marelisa perhaps most young folks don’t but some do. Your way may better fit more cautious individuals who really are not entrepreneurial. But I don’t think anyone ought to put their dreams on hold simply because they are lacking the “how to” skills necessary for success. We can learn the “how to” in the midst of building our businesses. So it’s not really a matter of learning “what” to do but of finding the courage to just do it.
Tom,
What a great idea to post a commencement address!
For many years now, I’ve counseled and coached college-age students, particularly on career, life purpose, etc. I have to say that I adore working with people at this stage of their lives, but could we, as a society, have picked a worse time to focus this pressure to figure everything out, in one big, well-crafted decision?
I was one of those people who was quite clear on who I thought I was and what my skills were from the time I was a child, and I still don’t feel like it counted for much until I was in my mid-30’s.
I bought into a path that was so much harder than it needed to be. I honestly don’t think people should be expected to “pick a major” until they are 29. And then they should know that there is a very good chance that the best path for any individual doesn’t exist until they invent a unique version for themselves.
Challenging topic – I commend you!
Tom,
As I read every word, I felt that you were talking to me looking straight in my eyes. Yes, I’m trained to be a lost soul in the four walls of mental mutiny but after working for about 14 years, I realized that I was selling my dreams for the green. I was insane. I started my business while still at work but with determination to never see those four walls in few years and yeah! that happened. If you ask me about a job, I’d laugh at you. Do I worry about money?Yes I do but I’ll never go back to sell dreams, ever!
Shilpan
Tom: Working in a place where you’re learning the tricks of the trade, especially if you’re fortunate enough to have a supervisor who is like a mentor to you, is not putting your dreams on hold. Quite the contrary, it can greatly shorten the learning curve so that when you do strike out on your own you don’t have such a hard time of it. I agree that we should all be courageous and set out on our own, but there’s planning and preparation involved. You don’t just blindly jump into the abyss.
Marelisas last blog post..How Gratitude Can Change Your Life
Slade you make an excellent point. More than half of us change our minds frequently regarding our “right” livelihood anyway. Why put so much pressure on yourself to get it right the first time at such a young age? That’s one reason why I’m such a staunch supporter of self-employment. If mistakes are inevitable we are far better off to make them on our own behalf then in service as an employee. At least when we are calling the shots we can adjust and profit form our mistakes.
Shilpan the important thing is you awoke in time. You seized your freedom and I commend you for doing so.
Marelisa this could be one of those areas where we simply disagree. I do not undervalue having a mentor. It’s an especially good strategy in a trade or a profession. I can’t imagine a glassblower not having some form of apprenticeship for example.
However your last line made me laugh out 🙂 loud for three reasons.
1). I’m not condoning that anyone jump blindly into the abyss.
2). Blindly isn’t the problem; hesitating on jumping is. I would rather see someone jump than waiting their whole life for the timing to be just right.
3). Sometimes it’s the jump itself that leads to a career that we could not see before we made the jump. That’s what happened to me and I’m very grateful for it.
Thanks for speaking your mind so eloquently.
Great message Tom. Not just for graduates, but for anyone experiencing (or ready to experience) a shift in life. Several of my peers have recently been laid off from their jobs during the economic downturn and are now happily self-employed consultants.
Love the powerful quote and message you end the post with. Thank you for the inspiration.
Sterling Okuras last blog post..Guest Appearance on CouchCast.org
Hi Tom – I really agree with everything you are saying. I “jumped into the abyss” when I was 30—a LONG time ago—when I resigned from school teaching without having a job to go to – but then I saved up for a year before doing it, so maybe it wasn’t exactly abyss-jumping!
Everyone’s path is just so unique, I guess – Robin
Sterling yes it’s funny how an unexpected turn like a layoff will give folks the boost they need to do what they’ve always wanted to do. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Robin you’re right everyone’s path is unique and we can’t help but see things form our own perspective. The important thing was that you made the leap. Congratulations!
My 23rd birthday is just around the corner and as it approaches I’ve been having this growing ’empty’ feeling. I must say this was one of the most refreshing articles I’ve read all day. I recently graduated from the University of South Carolina(2007 alumni) last year and have been fighting myself b/t what I ‘should do’ and what I ‘want to do’ career wise.
I majored in broadcast journalism, writing is my ultimate passion, and I’m currently working a 9mth. graduate internship with a top 30 news station. The position was supposed to help me find my way and to a certain extent it has, but it has also left me feeling empty, undecided, and fearful. The broadcast field is dwindling at an increasing rate….cutbacks, job freezes, and lack of job positions are everywhere you look. I want to work in news, but I’ve been confused and a bit frightened lately b/c I truly want to go freelance. I still want to get my name out there and make money…eventually…but I know I lack work experience that would land me freelance gigs. But @ the same time I don’t really want to be on the local evening news every night making a name for myself, but w/ NO money in my pocket.(How it’s currently been in recent mths.) So….I just applied to an $11/hr. full-time photojournalist position w/ a local news station and a public relations specialist job with a local library b/c it pays $20k more than the entry-level reporting job would.
I’m left feeling empty b/t wanting to do what I love and wanting to keep my apartment lights on.
Your article has certainly given me some much needed courage this evening that I CAN make it as a young person….and that I can make it on my own!!!!
Jewell you are going to be fine because already at this young age you are holding yourself to higher standards. Relax, most of us don’t fully address these questions until we are in our forties. Take the pressure off. You’ll make tons of mistakes in the coming years and learn from them all. No one has to get it right on any one move.
My article only invigorated the courage that was already withing you. Be sure to keep in touch and let us know how everything turns out.
As for your choices perhaps they don’t have to be “either or” right now. Is there a way to make “both and” work?
As someone who has just started University, this post is very interesting. I really have no clue what I would enjoy and would be best at, so I opted to study something which I perceived to be useful to anything I may want to do in future (business/finance). Now I’m just waiting until life guides me to my true purpose.