Overcoming Fear

overcoming fearsOvercoming fear, so you can do what you really want to do, is much easier once you sort out the fears that aren’t even yours.

Take these three steps.

  1. Think about something that you’ve wanted to do for many years but just haven’t done it. On a sheet of paper write the completion to this sentence.   For years I’ve wanted to ……
  2. Now write this question. What are all the reasons I haven’t done that yet?
  3. Look at the reasons. How many of those excuses, justifications and rationalizations aren’t even your own? Highlight all of those that may not even be your own and see how few remain.

What if you knew for certain that most of your fears aren’t really your own?  Since they are false fears they won’t even come into play. If that were so would you make your move then?

When you put a higher value on what others may think of your actions than your own inner guidance you are doomed to failure. Even worse, you’re doomed to live a dull, waiting life that never becomes what it might have been.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. Teddy Roosevelt

Teddy Roosevelt was resolutely himself, consistently and without apology.

What does that look like for you?

You were created with a special flare and style and when your special light shines its brilliance that brilliance is like no other. It’s your gift. You possess the potency and capacity to change the world simply by being you.

The best way to stand in a space of overcoming fear is to first let go off all the fears that really aren’t yours.

Do you have an original idea but delay starting because you fear failing?

If so, there is a very good chance that what you fear isn’t originally your thought.

Quit living your life running from someone else’s fear.

Your original idea is yours – your fears are others. Fearless living can be yours.

Answer the questions I gave you at the beginning of this post and you’ll begin to feel lighter and even fearless.

Fear of looking like a fool keeps you from getting what you want. Egbert Sukop

Let go of what others may think and say by following your own inner guidance.

Answer these questions and follow-through.

  1. What small action could I take today knowing that false fears won’t stop me?
  2. What is it (about my idea) that matters most to me that is also most valuable to others?
  3. What might be possible if I only chose me all of the time?

Overcoming fear that’s not originally your own will allow your special light to shine so you can come into your own. That’s all you need to end delay so you can do what you came here to do.

Schedule your complimentary strategy session today and together we’ll sort out the fears that really aren’t yours.

When will your ship come in?

your ship coming inOne thing that we all seem to agree upon is that the timing of when we shall receive what we desire is unpredictable. We behave as though the arrival of our desires is determined by some mystery of the universe.

But what if the timing were actually up to us? What if it is you who is creating the storm that’s preventing your ship from coming in?

Many in the spiritual community believe that anything is possible and that each individual creates her own reality.

We believe that it’s all good and that everything happens for us not to us.

Yet we are so impatient because we want more, better or some more delightful version of life and we want it now.

So it would appear that while we say we accept responsibility – in the same breath we are turning over that responsibility to the Universe or some power greater than we are.

But what if our desires are indeed on the way to us and it is the combination of how we are being, what we are thinking, saying and doing that actually speeds up or slows down the arrival of greater possibilities in our lives?

If that were true (and today I’m thinking it is) then what we do and who we are while waiting for that greater gift actually affects the timing of the gift.

Wisdom says ask and you shall receive. But what if the law was more accurately stated as follows?

Ask and trust that your request is now on its way to you AND you are fully responsible for how soon it arrives.

If that were so how would you be, think and act differently to guide your ship in? I’d like to show you how.

Be my guest to take the first step here.

There Is No After – Right Timing Is Always Now

There is no right time other than now. Waiting for just the right timing is a self-inflicted disease that destroys more dreams than any other self-created limitations. And all limitations are self-created.

We say. “I’ll start this business after my girls are in college. I’ll ask for a divorce after we pay off the house. I’ll have time for me after I raise my children.  We’ll take that dream vacation after the business stabilizes.  I’ll tell him I love him after I’m sure that I do. I’ll spend more time with them after this project, deal or challenge is over.

There is no after. There is no after and even when it gets here it never looks like what you thought it would.

We all have a major decision to make that we are not making. ~ Ian Percy

After is an excuse and a poor one at that.

 Three Hard Truths about Right Timing

1) Windows of opportunity are always temporary. Truth is, delay is incredibly costly.  Windows of opportunity are moving targets. Opportunities are always in the midst of opening or closing.  When we try to keep a window propped open artificially it changes the opportunity. Look at the diagram. You’ll see that there is no delay or waiting in the cycle.

2) The reason we hesitate is never the real reason. It’s always a constructed defense or justification that temporarily relieves the pressure by excusing us for not taking action. I know this is true because I have helped hundreds get over, around or break through their own reason so they could start the business they really want to start.

3) The energy to seize an opportunity is always strongest right when the desire first comes into your awareness. That’s when the Universe is saying, “Go for it I have your back.”

There is no after.  There is only now.  Celebrate & claim your freedom by choosing to go for what you want without delay.

It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living. Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time.  Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.  ~ Eckhart Tolle

The next time that the Universe blesses you with a really big idea don’t wait for the right time to act. Know that right timing comes along with the idea.

Be ready and do something to show you appreciate the opportunity. You could claim this offer to get really clear in a complimentary strategy session with me.

At the very least ask yourself this question. What does this opportunity require of me now?  Then trust what comes to you and act.

Break Comes Before Breakthrough

making a breakthroughSorry Dad.    You were right and I didn’t realize it until now.  I thought my Dad was just trying to cheer me up when he said.  “You just need to catch a break.” Finally I see the wisdom in those words.

Maybe we ought to listen more carefully every time someone who loves us tries to help us?

The thing is – breaks do need to be caught.  To be caught they need to be realized as the potential shift in consciousness that they are.

A break is at the same time a fracture and a gap. It’s a tearing apart and an opening.  Thus the wisdom in …. break comes before breakthrough.

In what specific life area do you need to catch a break?  Are you aware enough to catch it when one is being offered? Are you really committed to making that break?

The only way to have a life is to commit to it like crazy.  Angelina Jolie

The same area where you would love a break is the most challenging situation where you want to make a breakthrough.

In what specific life area do you need to catch a break because I’m offering you one right now?  But this isn’t merely a cognitive gift of wisdom.  I’m offering you a breakthrough experience.

We’ll meet this Thursday Feb. 7, 4:30 PM Eastren, on the phone.  To join us you only need to reply to this message answering two questions. Your responses will be kept confidential and only be used by me to prepare the experience.

In what specific area of my life would I most benefit from making a breakthrough?

What is the number one obstacle to me breaking through and shifting to a new way of being?

That’s all that’s required for you to participate in this breakthrough experience.  Or you can just go one saying that you never catch a break.

Tom Volkar

PS Remember that joke about the praying man who turned down three lifesaving rescue attempts and then asked God why he wasn’t saved?  Don’t let that be you. Respond now and answer the two questions above.



Starting Over With Honor

Starting over no matter how far you’ve fallen, is more surely accomplished with self-honor.

Self-honor begins with telling the truth to yourself about what’s really happening in your life.

Self-honor is making the decision you are most afraid to make.

Self-honor is asking for help when you know another perspective would illuminate possibilities.

Self-honor is taking the time to understand what you really, really want so you can declare that you want it.

Self-honor is understanding why you want something and having the courage to go for it.

Most of all self-honor is doing what you can do now to act on what you really want.

Without action you are just talk.  Action clarifies.  Without clarity of direction and path, it’s difficult to hold yourself in the high regard of self-honor.

You know where you have been running, hiding and avoiding your truth.  Honor your own truth today and watch your life transform.

Three Ways To Build Self-Confidence

We create unnecessary pressure in our pursuit of career or business success. Since both fulfillment and money are attracted to confidence, building your natural confidence is essential.

Here are the three most powerful ways to do so that I’ve learned in thirteen years of coaching.

1). Seek wisdom within, not without. Before you can start an authentic business you must believe in yourself enough to make the move. Beliefs determine possibility. Resolve and determination come from clearing limiting beliefs and accomplishing small wins.

Desire = Proof of Capacity. If you did not have what it takes to complete and idea – that idea would not have come to you. You are enough. In fact you are more than enough to complete the purpose you came here to complete. BUT you cannot keep searching for “the” secret to success on the outside. Your secret to success is only found within.

2). Make the decision you fear making the most. Decision-making is an active affair. Even if you’ve hit rock bottom and need to start completely over again you can do it by being more decisive. The best decisions are made and acted on. We are adaptable beings but if you remain a thinker and never a doer, you won’t get the opportunity to adapt. Without action your best possibilities remain hidden from your view.

Waiting serves no one. Any movement works. You must get in play and walk down the corridor to see what doors will open. You can’t see them without taking action. You’ll remain blind to your best opportunities unless you start now.

3). Understand and act on the basis that you are not your past. You only hesitate to do what you want to do because you believe more in your past than in your magnificent possibilities. Your past is primarily based on the erroneous assessments of others. Their opinions do not count when it comes to creating the life and business you want. You are far more than your past. Your past only exists to show you the wisdom of contrast. By seeing what you don’t want and filliping it – you’ll be able to see what you really want.

Your majorpoint of adjustment lies within none of these three.  Which is it for you?

It’s not too late; you can start completely over and make a fresh start.

You have what it takes to get what you want.

You can find your natural confidence.

You can see and make your special right path decision.

When you make that right path decision you will have the confidence to follow through and finish what you start.

If you’ve always wanted to make the leap to the freedom of self-employment but need more confidence then you can …

 Schedule a Confidently Make the Leap  – Free Strategy Session.

In this strategy session you will: 

  • Get really clear about the business you want to have.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from moving forward.
  • Plot out the right timing for you to make your move.
  • Identify the one thing that will give you the confidence to take the leap.
  • End the session inspired and knowing exactly what you need to do next to make your move.

Stop The Madness

Get To The Heart of the Matter

All madness stems from too much head and too little heart.

I’m not talking about certifiable insanity but the regular, daily madness that drives us crazy.

The way out of any challenge is to find a point of hopeful willingness. That’s the point where you can clearly see a next step action and you feel inspired to take it.

That point doesn’t come from over-thinking. It doesn’t come from asking why. And it seldom comes from searching for a better how to. Those are all head games and head games are complex.

Instead you must get to the heart of the matter in two different ways.

1). The first way is to go deep, connect with your heartfelt desires and come from within out.

Ask yourself.

Deep in my heart what do I care about the most here? If I put my dear self first in an extraordinary demonstration of self-love what might I do? What do I really want?

If you are looking too much at outside conditions and circumstances you’re looking in the wrong place.

2). The second way to get to the heart of the matter is, to boil it down to its essence.

Brevity creates clarity and clarity empowers. Boiling it down best occurs with persistent, audacious inquiry. Ask yourself.

What’s really going on here? What else? If I could answer the question that would save my ass, what would that question be?

Stay with the inquiry until you hit upon a startling truth that smells very clean and fresh.

Combine that truth/action in service of what you really want and the madness will stop.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been down or what’s going on around you. What matters is in your heart. What matters is getting to core, boiled down clarity and acting now.

There is no limit to the number of fresh starts you can make.
Audacious inquiry will save you every time.

Give It Your All & Go For It

iStock_000007136260XSmallGiving it your all is more than investing courageous effort and determination.  Giving it your all means going for it with everything you’ve got.  You have many more resources, connections, energetic intentions and accumulated good than you imagine you do.

You’ll realize this (as some of you already have) once you hold nothing back and accept the sacred mission of acting on your true calling.  I admit I was once skeptical when I read stories of heavenly bliss.  How could anyone be that aligned and feel that good?  I now know that those authors must have reconnected their link between authenticity and abundance.

Each and every one of us arrived here as little balls of determined energy ready to soak it all up and go for our unique greatness.  But our caregivers’ reactions to life challenges and our false assumptions all combined to erode our original essence.  In order to enjoy a right livelihood of abundant fulfillment and financial prosperity we need to reconnect with our original, potent presence.

I’ve been called to deliver powerful experiences so you can feel the very real energy of reconnection.  If you’re just coming to this party read this about authentic reconnection and this for instruction on starting the process.

I intend to create dynamic, supportive environments for immersion into the energy, connection and state of our original uniqueness.

Trust happens in the experience of being accepted, respected and heard. Actual words matter less.  Julio Olalla

These experiences will inspire (those who are bold enough to fully play) to go for it and give it their all.   One concept and process that especially accelerated my progress is the active work of inviting Divine coalescence.

If you are ready to fully commit to this transformative work then listen to this guided mediation that will get you in sync with Divine Coalescence.


Reconnecting this authentic link is a group experience.   You’ll make it sooner if you offer a hand up and describe (by commenting) how you felt after the mediation to those who may think they can’t spare 10 minutes to invest in their bliss.

Beliefs Are Bad For Business

Beliefs are sneaky.  Beliefs influence our ability and restrict opportunities often without us even being aware that we have them.  It’s a sound business practice to frequently examine and question your beliefs.

Beliefs can limit flexibility and openness while promoting rigidity.  Rigidity tends to limit opportunity.  Incredibly we often believe things for which we have no proof, especially when it comes to matters of self-assessment.

Belief is putting regard in something as true. This wide range of synonyms astounded me because they all can be used to describe a belief even though they inspire quite different meaning strength.

Synonyms: acceptance, admission, assent, assumption, assurance, avowal, axiom, certainty, conclusion, confidence, conjecture, conviction, credence, credit, deduction, divination, expectation, faith, fancy, feeling, guess, hope, hypothesis, idea, impression, intuition, judgment, knowledge, mind, mindset, notion, opinion, persuasion, position, postulation, presumption, presupposition, profession, reliance, supposition, surmise, suspicion, theorem, theory, thesis, thinking, trust, understanding, view.

Some beliefs can seem very flimsy, especially when we think of a belief as an assumption, a guess, a notion or merely a feeling.

But that’s how all beliefs take root.  We hear someone say something or read it and we assume it to be true.  A statement can be made about your own capacity or about business in general and you could lose out because of your belief in that statement.

Anyone and everyone occasionally can get down on herself or himself.  The good news is that we don’t have to get down and stay there.  Worrying about beliefs is wasteful.  It’s far more productive to use language and questioning to challenge our limiting beliefs.

Worry is an abuse of imagination.  Steve Chandler

Of course not all beliefs are limiting or negative some can be very inspiring.  But even positive beliefs can be limiting.  It makes me question whether we’d be better off without beliefs at all. Would it really matter if we just experienced life in the moment as it comes?

Here are some empowering questions to challeneg and refresh your beliefs.

What do I believe that does not serve me well about my business or myself?

Can I point to proof that supports this belief?

What would I rather believe?

What do I want to believe about my business or myself?

What could I do now to create what I want?

What limiting beliefs would I be better off simply letting go?

What one thing am I creating that uplifts me?

How could I increase my willingness to start fresh with a beginners mind and boldly create that thing?

Back Up One Step and Choose Your Right Path

Success can be very simple.  istock_000003253553small

We needlessly complicate both life and business.

Use this checklist and locate where you are.

Make the necessary adjustment and get unstuck.

1). If you are not celebrating enough then be grateful more often.

2). If you are not grateful often enough then complete more often.

3). If you are not completing enough then act boldly more often.

4). If you are not taking bold action often enough then ruthlessly simplify and commit to less.

5). If you are not committing to a few consciously chosen priorities then be more decisive.

6). If you are not being decisive enough then go deeper within and tell the truth to yourself more often.

If you are not going deep enough to see your truth then what in the hell are you doing here?

Both life and business need your willingness and enthusiasm in order to thrive.

Not sure of your next best step to launch your new business? Then join me on June 17 for a FREE group coaching experience that will guide you right.