Fearless Living

scan0003Fearless living is a choice.

I want to inspire you to do something today from the raw, unblemished core of who you are.  I want to encourage you to act for today or even for one hour, as if there were nothing wrong with you.

I want you to boldly go where no man or woman has gone because only you can walk your path.

I’m asking you to do that because you can.

Abundance is doing what you can do right now.  Kim George

What stops you from living fearlessly?

What stops you from doing what you say you want to do?

My thoughts stop me.

What if everything brave and beautiful that you’ve ever wanted to create was stopped by a fearful thought?

We have become masters of fearful thinking.  We’re experts at labeling our maladies.

We call them procrastination, perfectionism, attention deficit disorder, overwhelm.

By labeling them we invite their existence, and by doing so we sentence ourselves to an unnecessary, more permanent experience of them.

I like this about my upbringing.  We didn’t have a lot of money so we couldn’t afford to label our maladies.  We sneezed, but we didn’t know about allergies.  As a result, we grew up allergy free.

At six years old, I slid down a muddy hillside and gashed a long, deep wound in my thigh.  Spending money for a doctor just wasn’t an option.  My parents cleaned it, disinfected it and wrapped it.  I felt taken care of and my leg healed, without a stitch.

We tell these stories now and laugh.  Home healing gets passed on.  Also at six years, my daughter Leslie, (that’s her in the air) ran and slid up on an old picnic bench.  A finger length sliver of wood splintered off in her rump.  I gave her the choice of a doctor visit or a Barbie Doll, if I pulled it out.  She chose the doll.

Reflecting now, I see that our greater gift was not the medical savings but the gift of acting swiftly without needing to slow down and label experiences as something bad.

I made a wonderful discovery when my kids were toddlers.  They’d fall down and smack their heads.  But in that instant of surprise, they’d look to us before reacting.  If we laughed they were infected by our laughter.  But if we showed concern, they cried.  As a result, they learned that pain wasn’t always bad.  Often pain is only surprising, until we label it as something else, by attaching a fearful thought to it.

Like many of you, I’ve worked through the emotional wounds of a less than nurturing upbringing.  But I think we are too quick to label our conditioning as limiting.  When we look for the good, we can see it.  I now see that my upbringing also spawned my natural optimism.

I’ve often been called unrealistic.  Harsher critics have said I’m avoiding, or in denial. They’re right.  I’m denying the need to explore what’s wrong with me.

I think it’s a waste of time.  I know it’s a waste of life.

We’ve made our temporary disorders more permanent by accepting them as our fate.  We say, “I have” a cold, like we own it.  We describe colds as though they have taken up permanent residence in our bodies.  Wouldn’t it be better to tell the truth?  Wouldn’t we be better off saying?  “The experience of a cold is now leaving my body.”

We declare, “I’m overwhelmed.”  “I’m a procrastinator.”  We describe ourselves as if our core identity is flawed.  These fearful labels are not who we are, but they have become misdiagnoses because we have thought them into being.

They become excuses and even bigger personal puzzles that we think we have to solve in order to be get what we want.

But really, haven’t we made all of this up?  Yes, thoughts are creative and most of us have advanced degrees in negative thinking.  But positive thinking isn’t the best answer either.

How about simply more acting and less thinking?

When we are living, we are creating.  We aren’t thinking but doing.

We fear the idea of something more than the thing itself.  Steve Chandler

Our minds are tricky and powerful.  We can believe that we “have” anything. We can believe that we can think our way out of any problem.  But while thinking so much, are we really living?

What might you create if you didn’t “have” anything?  No malady, disorder or disease, and not a single impediment, block or fearful thought?

Choose fearless living.  Act.  Do.  Create.  Walk your own bold path today.

Fearless Creators

Steve Chandler his book, Fearless, Creating the Courage to Change the Things You Can, inspired this post.  I’ve joined his Club Fearless and you can get his book free by joining.  This isn’t an affiliate program; this recommendation is my thanks to Steve for the inspiration to live fearlessly.

Davina Haisell for having the courage to try something new and create The Quote Effect.

Marelisa Fábrega for her relentless dedication to creativity.

Speak Up – Silence Makes You Poor

We must stand tall and speak up or our silence will make us poor. Money is attracted to confidence. Attractive confidence is the direct connection between authenticity and financial prosperity. istock_000001684995xsmall1

We naturally feel more confident when we are speaking our mind in full authentic expression.  Every time we allow fear to silence our authentic expression, we poke little holes in our personal integrity and erode our confidence.

Often we are given opportunities to right a wrong, clear up a misunderstanding, enhance a relationship or express true feelings, but instead we take the easy way out, by putting up with what we could change.

I’m a big believer in accepting what is. But we can also be smart and remove ourselves from the presence of people and situations that are not good for us.

It’s essential to identify and eliminate situations that we needlessly tolerate.

Let’s define tolerations as things that bug us, sap our energy, and could be eliminated!  There’s a small payoff to carrying tolerations – you get to feel kind of noble about your burdens and your forbearance. But, believe me, it’s a very expensive source of self-esteem.

Tolerations are holes in your personal success cup; they drain away your contentment and good fortune.  They drain YOU.  They make you feel less attractive to yourself.

Tolerations often represent compromises you’ve talked yourself into.  Thomas Leonard

Leonard included physical clutter and all kinds of limbo projects in his master list of tolerations.  Most of you have felt the tremendous resurgence of energy that comes simply from cleaning a closet or an office.  My coaching clients and I have experienced even greater relief and enlivening from taking a stand and expressing it.  It’s your turn.

What unresolved situations or unmade decisions have you avoided dealing with repeatedly?

Which of your relationships is more energy draining than inspiring?

Where are you withholding being totally forthright, because you fear the consequences, even though you know that you’re out of integrity by remaining silent?

Where do you resist telling the whole truth to yourself, about yourself?

Make your list, select one, face it and fix it permanently. Then cross it off and feel the rush of authentic expression.

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For those in Pittsburgh this week, Tom is speaking on Thursday, 1-29, noon, at the Carnegie Business Library on Wood St.  The topic is: Is Self-Employment Right for You?

Pump Up Your Personal Power

I was eleven years old, watching The Three Stooges, on a fall afternoon.  I heard a loud insistent knock at the back door and, upon opening it, I saw my neighbor, Little Larry, all out of breath and crying.  A hunter mistakenly shot his dog Lobo.  Lobo was suffering and needed help.

Larry’s family didn’t own a gun and he knew that my Dad did.  But I was the only one home and I had played with Lobo.  I was torn and afraid and I didn’t want to do it. I just wanted to cry like Larry was, or run from the responsibility.  The last thing I wanted to do was to feel my feelings.
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Struggling small business owners often ask, “What’s wrong with me?”  It’s really easy to fall into the trap of self-judgment when things don’t turn out as planned.  It can be especially frustrating when it seems as though many others are succeeding.

But, what if there is nothing inherently wrong with you?  What if you have the capacity to succeed in business but you’re not fully using your personal power?

It’s not a question of your makeup; you have what it takes to succeed. But what if you are not giving it your all?  You might think you are, but if you’re holding back on feeling your feelings fully, then you’re operating at a fraction of your available personal power.  Decide to hold back no more – direct all of your personal power for life and business success.

In my life coaching practice, I’ve coached many men and a few women who did everything they could to avoid feeling negative emotions.  Once we do some digging, the memory of a major childhood trauma often surfaces.  Some clients have avoided feeling feelings for 30 years or more.  Some hurt so badly that they refuse to even discuss it.

Yet they can’t confidently express the personal power necessary to be a successful entrepreneur, while still holding back on their feelings.

My authentic business success did not fully happen, until I changed back into the championship feeler that I once was.  Authenticity can be your edge for business success. But it’s impossible to be fully authentic if you aren’t feeling everything.

Back to Lobo, up until that time, I wore my emotions on my sleeve.  If you hurt, me I cried.  If something scared me, I cried.  If I was embarrassed or ashamed about something, I cried.  Back then, when the emotions arose, I felt them naturally and then felt better.

But growing up in the macho fifties, that presented a big problem.  Every adult male in my life, including my Dad, told me to “quit crying, suck it up and be a man.”

This was in the country, in 1961, and people just didn’t spend money on veterinarians.  Larry knew that the merciful thing to do was to end Lobo’s suffering.  I agreed, but my Dad wasn’t home.  Then something clicked in my eleven-year-old mind.  I saw this as an opportunity to take the advice of my Dad, uncles, and male teachers.  I needed to suck it up and be a man.

Suddenly I knew what I had to do.  I got the shotgun and a shell out of the closet and walked down over the hill with Larry.  It was hard looking at Lobo and knowing that I was ending his life.  We’d played and run together many times.

But I sucked it up and I did it.  And I can remember walking back up the hill to my house as clear as it was yesterday.  A tearful feeling began deep in my chest, and just when it was at throat level and about to explode, I stopped it.

I swallowed my feelings and locked them up in some dark well.  I sucked it up.  I was a man.  I didn’t shed another tear for 38 years and I hated it.  I was stone-faced miserable and more afraid than when I freely cried.

If you’re a guy that’s buying that same bull, or if you know a guy (or gal) who is, please take this message to heart. You won’t really be a strong man or woman until you learn to feel all of your feelings, as they arise.

How?  First understand the benefits of feeling fully.  That understanding will help you to want to feel.  Then you need a process that will work for you.  There is none better than John Gray’s process in his book, How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have .

I’ve recommended it dozens of times in my life coaching practice and it almost always gets my clients feeling once again. It’s effective because it gives us a powerful way to first feel what’s there. Then after feeling it, we can choose something that feels better.

In Chapter 11, Gray shares this list of 12 negative emotional states.
1. “I am angry.”
2. “I am sad.”
3. “I am afraid.”
4.  “I am sorry.”
5. “I am frustrated.”
6. “I am disappointed.”
7. “I am worried.”
8.“I am embarrassed.”
9.“I am jealous.”
10. “I am hurt.”
11. “I am scared.”
12. “I am ashamed.”

These states are expertly listed, in a special order such that even if you don’t immediately, correctly identify which emotion you’re feeling, the process will correct your course in mid-stream.

This process uses journaling, which is a very effective method for feeling and releasing negative emotions.  I’ve personally found it to be highly effective and it’s what got me unstuck from the lingering affects of a major life wound.

Begin at the emotional state where you think you are and really feel it.

In each case, as you go down the list, you will experience a dramatic shift and release by going deeper.  Write a few minutes about any one level, and then shift to the next level down. At the end of the process, it is important to write out the positive feelings that naturally emerge after we release negative emotions. John Gray

Negative feelings begin as naturally occurring vibrations; they don’t become negative until we have attached a thought to them.

Everything in our lives, we create, promote or allow. Author Unknown

Everything! Wow, do you find that quote as inspiring as I do. That means we are at choice about everything in our lives. For everything, we make it up, advance it further or permit its presence.

“Everything” includes even the feelings we feel.  We can choose to allow or release our negative feelings.

We can also choose to pump up our personal power by creating positive feelings after we’ve released the negative.
We are all challenged from time to time, but true champions, learn to fully feel, process the emotions and return to rise again.

Are you operating a full personal power or are you still holding back?

 

Got It?

We ask this question to check for understanding. We can also gain insight by questioning ourselves. When grasping new knowledge, it’s useful to both discover what we are newly aware of and then to express that realization.

Grasping and expressing a newfound realization can be the most powerful outcome of honoring agreements. As a career coach specializing in authentic business building and self-employment freedom leaping, making agreements with my clients is essential. The resulting value of keeping agreements makes up for a lack of experience in budding entrepreneurs.

Honoring agreements is a leveraged tool because it builds confidence, delivers an intended result and creates fresh perspective, all in one. From the vantage point of fresh perspective we can see greater opportunities than we could previously and we see them in a different light. That’s when one needs to ask oneself this power question to complete this leveraged learning opportunity.

What have I realized as a result of completing this distinctly new action?

Realizations are often the greatest result from completing agreements, because they can be parlayed into even greater understanding and sustainable evergreen wisdom.

If you aren’t taking every opportunity to question yourself about your realizations then you are squandering opportunities for which you’ve already done the work.

Guy Kawasaki’s talk on Innovation and introduced his concept of jumping to the next curve of innovation.

Let’s look at career guidance and where the existing curve began. The start of the curve could be called economic survival. When my folks were coming of age in 1940 they gave little thought to fulfillment and took the best job they could find to feed their family.

The next point on the curve could be high school guidance counselors and their pitiful attempts to place everyone in a pre-existing box. Graduating from high school in 1968, I recall four labels in my yearbook that represented our only available choices of study. General – “you’re a loser get a job in the mill.” Commercial – “you’re not the brightest gal, so maybe you can be a secretary.” Academic – “you’re bright enough to go to college, so go and you might figure it out there.” Scientific – “you’re a genius-nerd who could become a doctor if you don’t squander your intelligence.” No wonder our college years were such a relief.

The abundance of choices in an atmosphere of relative freedom made college seem like Nirvana compared to high school. With raised expectations, we hoped that our college career counselors could finally help us nail our career identification quest. But to our disappointment, this next leap in the curve was barely a hop. Those overworked counselors simply added confusing psychological assessments that raised more questions than answers.

Many of us left with a university education but no more prepared to find our true calling. Upon reflection, perhaps there was never much of a curve at all, because when we entered the work force, many of us did the same thing that our parents did. We took the best job we could find. Then after 10-30 years of less-than-fulfilling work, the courageous among us began to ask, “Is this as good as it gets?”

Join me in my next post to read the continuing evolution of career guidance and discovery. I’ll also share my realizations regarding jumping this curve.

Do you usually reflect to recognize realizations?

Have you typically asked yourself what you’ve realized from honoring your agreements?

For that matter, do you typically make explicit agreements?

What was the essential leap of understanding in your right livelihood quest?

There is a shortcut to discovering your authentic business. Request a complimentary Confidently Make the Leap strategy session.   [Read more…]

How to Beat the Work Life Blues

Working in a job you hate kills your spirit and drains your energy. But you’ll never escape the hell you’re in by bitching and moaning about it.

What we focus on, expands. What we give our attention to; we get more of. What we look at, whether it is pleasing or upsetting, becomes our focus point of expansion. When considering a career transition, everything we resist persists – because we are giving it our attention. It doesn’t matter if your boss is stealing all your good ideas; by complaining about it, you are keeping yourself locked in the same prison.

Worry, complaint, blame and doubt are powerful forces of resistance that tend to keep us stuck within the very situations we wish to be free of. Yet there is always a way out and it comes from having the courage to see and make a better choice.

Here’s a powerful method I’ve adapted for my career coaching, from Eckhart Tolle’s excellent book, The Power of Now.

In all challenging situations, you only have the following four choices, the first of which is counterproductive.

1). You can resist, complain or deny, and remain stuck within the situation.

Resistance is any from of complaint, argument, blame, negativity, impatience, anger or irritation. Well how about it? Have you been resisting your crappy job? Stop it! Instead choose one of the choices below or you’ll never get out. We really can’t beat the work life blues, with force but we can transition to fulfillment by making better choices.

2). You can remove yourself from the situation.

You know in your heart that walking away is an option.

3). You can work with others to change it.

If (and I know this is a big “if”) you have co-workers and management who will work with you to make the changes, you can make a lousy job less so.

4). You can accept it.

Acceptance is not giving up and it is not agreement. It is simply your active choice that, for now, you just won’t fight it. For now, you’re not going to let them get to you. For now, you’ll cheerfully acknowledge that this is the best you can do, given all of the circumstances. Then you are free to put your energy on the kind of work that you really want.

That’s it. There are no other choices! Often when coaching a client who is in the middle of stressful circumstances, they fight choosing options 2, 3, or 4. That means, by default, they have chosen to remain in a prison of their own making. When we choose not to accept, change or remove ourselves from a situation, we are stuck solidly within resistance.

Opportunity comes directly from clarity of decision and action. By deciding which of the three positive choices you are making, you increase the likelihood of greater opportunity – because you have lessened resistance.

Then you can apply a relief formula that always works:

Gratitude + Less Resistance = Increased Opportunity

Gratitude, recognizing and appreciating one’s blessings, gives you greater strength. If you are working in an unfulfilling job, there must be something good about it. Focus on that – and do not resist! Then your energy will remain strong and you will have put yourself in the best position to make your move to more fulfilling work.

Remember, whatever we focus on, we get more of. What we resist, persists.

In all things, you have a choice as to how you’ll respond. You can resist by hoping that another person or condition will change, or you can choose to work the formula on your own behalf.

How have you resisted your work?

Does it make sense for you to change your focus and make another choice today?


Believe It Or Not

I’ve found delightful work to be an illusive experience for many folks. Often it’s more effective to approach the discovery of delightful work in multiple and varied ways. Sometimes we need to sneak up on our own minds to extract the wisdom within. Other times we can set an intention and go for a full frontal exploration. And sometimes it works well to release long-held beliefs in order to consider what might reveal itself.

First let’s look at some distinctions and definitions. A calling or vocation is generally considered to be more spiritually meaningful or purposeful than a career. Builders of careers tend to be more focused on advancement from one level to the next. I coined the term delightful work because none of the existing terms, including right livelihood and vocation, seemed to carry the exact meaning I was looking for. Delightful work is work that has all the elements of deep delight:, freedom, deeply fulfilling gladness and financial prosperity.

In my very first post, 362 days ago, I said that delightful work is: amusing, attractive, captivating, clever, engaging, enjoyable, fascinating, gratifying, luscious and thrilling.

It’s that level of delight that I wish to encourage and inspire in all, simply because it’s possible for all. Yet it’s only possible for you if you think it is.

So, in this post, I’m asking you to use your imagination to consider some new beliefs around what you think is possible in your work life. I’m asking you to expand your thoughts beyond the realms of your existing beliefs. Are you willing to do so?

Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning. Mahatma Ghandi

You could debate me on this one, but I think that all of our beliefs tend to be limited in some way. I’ve even met folks who believe we’re better off without any beliefs. Yet even that’s a belief, isn’t it?

Each of our beliefs at one time was only a single thought based on something that we observed or thought we observed. We often didn’t question these thoughts or even consciously look at them. We simply accepted them and they became true for us over time, as one thought built on another. Thoughts and beliefs tend to attract and collect matching thoughts that build credibility and create the beliefs we have today.

So what are your beliefs regarding fulfillment in your work? I invite you to take out pen and paper (or keyboard and fingers) and try answering some or all of the following questions.

What earning limits do you see as possible for yourself?

How about freedom, is it likely that you’ll be completely autonomous in your work someday soon?

How delighted are you to face each new day?

How often is your work captivating and thrilling?

What’s the most delightful expression of delightful work that you can imagine enjoying?

Vocation is the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need. Frederick Buechner

To increase the probability of even more delightful work, it’s necessary to set the highest of standards because without those we often settle for something less.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be writing more about this sweet spot between the world’s deep need and your deep gladness. In the meantime, consider the possibilities.

What beliefs regarding work are you willing to replace or expand?

Which beliefs no longer serve you well?

Time to Walk Away?

One of the most challenging aspects of career transitioning from work that feels like work, to work that you love, is temporarily letting go of the money. It’s just as challenging, when you’re already self-employed and transitioning from an established income stream to one that’s more delightful but temporarily less lucrative.

Even long-time proponents of authentic work can go for the easy money in moments of temporary insanity. I’ve clearly known my core values since 1998 yet just 18 months ago I lost my mind and made a decision unaligned with my values to pick some low hanging fruit. It paid well for a while and I told myself that I’d just work it a few hours a week until I built up a financial reserve. But a funny thing happened, even though financially, my overall situation improved, I began to resent the source of this windfall. I wrestled with myself for months and could not come to a satisfactory decision. So as it often does, life provided a decision for me. I had many less-costly opportunities to let go but I did it the hard way because the fear of letting go was greater than the unknown good on the horizon.

I’m writing about this now because of a comment on my last post on Honoring Commitments from fellow self-employed blogger Cath Lawson. Be sure to visit her blog, for some bold and wise business advice.

Here are the relevant parts of Cath’s comment.
Hi Tom, I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. One of the main reasons I struggle to honour my commitments sometimes, is that I’ll let one horrid task overwhelm me to the point I won’t look at my to do list. It’s something I’m really struggling with. I think I really need to work on getting over the horrid task thing. Most of the ones I dread are connected to a past business. And I think it’s the connections I have the problem with, as opposed to the actual task.

Did you grasp the meaning in her comment? It’s not the tasks that Cath dreads doing but the emotional connections to those tasks. Often when we make a career transition there is residual fallout. There’s stuff we think we need to hang onto and cleanup because it appears to make good business and financial sense. But we all know that appearances can be tricky.

I’m not sure if this is the case in Cath’s situation because I haven’t coached her on it but it certainly was the case in mine. Sometimes it’s better to walk away and forget trying to get over something. Sometimes a clean break is the soundest financial decision.

Once my unaligned decision began to feel like an obligation I should have eaten my losses and made a clean break. That’s what my inner guidance was telling me but I was holding on only for the money and that’s a decision that’s doomed to failure. This once lucrative cash stream became what Thomas Leonard called a toleration.

When you put up with something, it costs you; unnecessary costs are unattractive. Let’s define tolerations as things that bug us, sap our energy and could be eliminated! Tolerations drain you. They make you feel less attractive to yourself. Thomas Leonard

In his excellent book, The Portable Coach: 28 Sure Fire Strategies For Business And Personal Success, Leonard goes on to explain that we unknowingly install tolerations to slow down our personal growth because when we slow down, we are less frightened. However putting up with anything that we could do something about is damaging to our emotional and spiritual well-being. Often we are turning our back on our own inner guidance because we don’t feel ready to make a clean break from a less than authentic past. Yet every time we ignore our own inner guidance it’s like poking a hole in our soul.

How perforated is your soul these days?

What are you putting up with that you could let go of?

Where have you ignored repeated opportunities to make a clean break?

Are you holding on somewhere, just for the money?

If you are, you may want to ask yourself. “What’s the total cost of this ongoing emotional wrestling match? Might the actual cost of walking away now be less?”

How to Honor Your Commitments

honor your commitments with heartHonor your commitments full consciousness by understanding both the value of success and the consequences of dishonoring your commitment.

Commitment is not a seed that you can bury and forget about. The successful development of commitment requires the care of conscious wisdom and the honor of high self-regard.

In this post we considered the Viking-like commitment of burning their boats at the shore. We saw that commitment is only as strong as the decision that preceded it and the process that develops it.

Two things stop most committers:

1. Poor decision-making skills leading up to the commitment and

2. An effective process for following through on the commitment.

Today I’ll share a process that will guide to honor your commitments.

To commit means to be morally bound to do. To bind oneself and pledge oneself is a decision of honor. It’s this level of principled accountability that most need to begin applying to their self-pledges more often.

Are you more likely to honor a commitment made to another than a promise you’ve made to yourself? If so why do you respect yourself less?

It will be well worth your while to consider that question. Participants in a recent phone class did and they all committed to something that was dear to them. I’m inviting you to do the same. Commit to something and use this process to bring it home.

For example let’s say you’ve always wanted to quit your job and start your own business. There are many small steps you could commit to in preparation.

You could even start by reading my free book: Choosing Your Ideal Business.  It will show you how to decide with confidence and eliminate fears about not making enough money.

Let’s walk through this four-step commitment honoring process.

1). Deliberately choosing your commitments.

Use this step to determine what specifically you ought to commit to now. Answer these questions to flush out something that really matters to you.

What decisions have I been putting off?

What’s one life situation that deserves greater consciousness than I’ve been giving it?

2). Making a strong, inspired decision.

It’s much easier to make and keep a commitment when we deeply believe that our investment in time and attention will pay off in a big way. Thus it’s important to understand exactly what making this commitment will mean to you.

Write down the highest value point of inspiration and enthusiasm.

Ask yourself, “What about succeeding with this commitment will make me very happy?”

Ask yourself, “How exactly will it enhance my life?”

Write down a bold declaration of intent.

Read it often and imagine the joyful, enhanced qualities of your life as you read.

3). Understanding the downside.

What’s the downside to not following through on this commitment?

Be very clear on the consequences of dishonoring something that you said was important to you.

How might that affect you adversely? Feel the pain of that dishonor now and use it to recommit. Although looking at the downside now can hurt, it pales in comparison to the pain dishonor causes down the road. If you can’t stand the heat…..

4). Raising the probability of following through all the way to success.

The first thing you need to do is to break the commitment down into something you can definitely achieve in this first week. Momentum is extremely important to establish early.

What precise milestone would I be excited to achieve this week?

If I’ve committed to a similar objective previously and failed, what were all the contributing factors to that failure? How might I respond differently this time?

What else can I do to raise my probability of success?

You could make far fewer promises and commit to honoring all of them. “No thank you” is a complete sentence and a very wise response. Too often we dilute our focus and energy by saying “yes” without full consideration.

You’ll raise your probability of success by writing your commitments down in a sacred place.

You’ll raise your probability of success by expecting success. Ask yourself now; “Do I expect to succeed with this commitment?” If not then ask, “What would cause me to expect success?” Do that thing.

You’ll raise your probability of success by investing in frequent focus and by taking frequent action. Action changes consciousness and perspective.

No problem is solved in the same consciousness that created it. Einstein

You’ll raise your probability of success by holding yourself in high regard.
We raise our self-regard by making our own well being a priority.

You’ll raise your probability of success by making wise, in-the-moment decisions that deliberately bring your commitment to mind.

How can I further guarantee that I’ll honor this commitment?

You can guarantee your own success by using all four realms of your power to act as if success were already a reality.

You can guarantee your own success by creating an environment of support. Often we can adjust our physical environments and call on our network so that our surroundings pull us along to success without so much pushing effort.

Understand in advance that your commitment may be challenged by you poor habits, past programming and the careless comments of others. But that doesn’t count for squat. What counts is your decision to be the man or woman you are and honor your commitments as declared.
Be bold and decide that regardless of those challenges you are determined to complete this commitment.

What has worked well for you in honoring your commitments?

What aspects of this process are screaming out to you for attention?

Everything Counts So Make It Count

In a creative Universe every thought, word, feeling and deed is somehow combined and coalesced to return to us the predominant focus of our attention.

There’s been a lot written both for and against the Law of Attraction. Yet most folks don’t disagree that somehow the predominance of what we think about, feel, talk about and take action on, all coalesces and comes about.

Random happens only when we are unaware of our power to influence outcomes.

Since every thought, feeling, word and deed combines to create the life we experience, it’s wise to increase our awareness in order to observe what we are thinking, feeling, saying and doing. This increased consciousness has been called deliberate creation or intentional manifestation. It’s important not to let this debate about the law of Attraction get in the way of using what works. Our thoughts, feelings and words do attract like experiences and so do our actions.

This could be why many disagree with attraction presented as if it’s a law or a principle. It appears to over-emphasize less actionable capabilities like thinking, feeling and speaking without giving appropriate credit to doing. All four count, all the time, even the stalwart doer will tell you he’s more effective when he’s enthused and speaks more confidently.

Everything counts, nothing is missed; all four creatively imprint our experience and the wild card is our spiritual alignment (meaning how close we are to the work we were meant to).

Each of us operates in four realms of power, and the choice is ours to do so deliberately – or be less than aware and create unintentionally. It’s obvious that unintentional creation is more hit and miss. Conscious creation is simply choosing how you use your power in all four realms, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.

Let’s look at how an employee could deliberately increase the probability of success in making the move to the freedom of self-employment.

Intentional four realms creators:

Dig to discover the work they were meant to do. An aligned calling exists for each of us and the closer we get to it, the more creatively effective and efficient we are.

Deliberately choose thoughts that most matched their deepest desires and boldly express those thoughts. If you really want the freedom of self-employment then you’ll be well served to cease thinking how miserable you are in your job. Instead think and express how your job likely holds the key to your freedom.

Deliberately feel as though those desires were already a reality. Imagine how grand you’ll feel calling your own shots and what a wonderful boss you’ll soon be to yourself.

Strategically take actions that are most likely to accelerate their progress towards those chosen desires. There is always a small step you can take that will get you closer to what you want. Take it with every confidence that it is coalescing with your thoughts, feelings and words to move you closer to seizing the opportunity that’s right for you.

Everything’s connected. People come into our sphere of influence for mutual learning experiences. Situations are drawn to us to give us the opportunity to respond to them in new and different ways. Something or someone in your job is there to show you how to grow beyond it.

Everything counts, it’s all connected, we’re all connected, how could it be any other way?

Everything counts. So wise up and make it count.

How To Start Over

Starting Over Do you know how to start over so it takes this time? An important part of your life or business is crying out for a fresh new start. There’s something magically freeing about wiping the slate clean and beginning new again – but we often waste that magic by stopping short of completion.

Some question their inherent capabilities after repeatedly failing to produce a desired result. Yet life coaching has taught me that there is nothing wrong with you, your capabilities or with starting over. What’s usually lacking is the faulty process that you’ve used. After this five-minute read you’ll know an effective process for starting over and successfully completing.

A fresh start comes ready made with fresh hope that this time things will turn out better and they will, if you’ll use this process that focuses your fresh start energy for maximum advantage.

Many folks attempt geographical fresh starts. Others get excited with the newness of a fresh relationship. Some get their kicks from cracking open a crisp new book. At least half of us have started diets and exercise programs dozens of times. With every fresh start we blindly hope that this time will be different. By why should it? A fresh start alone doesn’t guarantee different results.

Increased awareness while working this how to start over process will produce different results. The necessary ingredients are awareness, commitment, action, frequency, redemption and completion. Answer the question(s) next to the ingredient to work this process.

1) Awareness. What part of my life would most benefit from a totally fresh start? What realizations have I come to from my previous attempts in this area? If I’ve truly learned these lessons, then what do I intend to do differently this time?
2) Commitment. Why is the decision to commit to this change the most important commitment I’m making this month? (If it’s not important enough to drive eager involvement for at least a month, then you may want to choose again.) Looking forward 30 days, how will I feel having successfully followed through to completion? Write out a celebratory script in full five-sense detail. If you aren’t really fired up on day one, it likely doesn’t have enough energy to sustain your focus.
3) Action. What are three small steps I can take in the next three days to jumpstart my momentum? Take them one-a-day over the next three days.
4) Frequency. That leaves 27 days, looking at where I want to be on day 30 and back planning, what are 14 possible actions I could take? Take one of these actions every other day. You can change the specific actions once you get going. But if you begin with a pool of actions to choose from you will have increased your probability of success significantly. Frequency is often the missing ingredient in a faulty process.
5) Redemption. We cannot go back in time but we can stop the energy drain of past mistakes by arriving at a place of higher self-regard. Redemption, in this case, is the act of fulfilling a pledge to ourselves that we’ve failed to fulfill previously. By making amends we repair our own self-esteem and prove that we are competent to life. What specific end result would be self-redeeming and make me very proud?
6) Completion. Here’s where you claim the prize (benefit of your main completion) for following through. Imagining this prize is what created the desire for a fresh new start in the beginning. Make sure that this prize is meaningful and valuable to you. What prize will enthusiastically hold my focus for 30 days?

Now that you know how to start over are you going to seize this opportunity? There are no limits to the number of times you can start fresh. You can completely start anew over and over again. Inspiration doesn’t deplete itself. It’s a naturally renewing resource.

Come alive to your greater glory – commit to starting over today.
You can do it and you’ll be glad you did.

Contact you starting over life coach to make a strong start today.