Creating Clarity

clarity Clarity is clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding. It is freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.

Do you more often look for clarity or create it?

I’ve been pondering the creation of clarity. Most folks look for clarity like it’s something to be found. Discovering clarity happens but not as often as you’d think.

It’s far easier to decide to create clarity.

How do you come to your clarity? I find clarity is best approached with openness, calmness and a determination to create it.

A comprehensive process works best especially in matters of career change clarity. When there are many factors to consider that fog our clarity we must work a process that cuts through fog like a torch of sunshine.

Clarity is best created through a process of questioning, dialogue, decision and action. Every progressive step leans toward clarity and further away from confusion or complexity.

But there is one essential ingredient that must be put into the mix early and often.

Truth. If you really want clarity, you must decide to tell the whole truth to yourself about yourself. That’s the truth as you see it, without regard for the opinion of others.

To create clarity you must take a stand for your truth and your truth is likely to be unpopular. Its unpopularity is what makes it individual and thus valuable to you.

But without deep truth, as only you know it, you’re just spinning you wheels.

Here’s the secret. Be especially aware as a truth-teller, just before and during periods of important decision making.

Use this time to note your decision – to comprehend and appreciate the raw truth of it.

When we make a decision and then decide to make up some justification, explanation or fabrication after the fact, we don’t get the benefit of endorsing own authentic choices.

Singular and courageous endorsement of your own wisdom is what creates clarity and confidence.

Here’s a powerful opportunity to practice your truth telling.   Decide to tell the truth when you decline every invitation, be it business or social.

Just saying no thank you can be enough.  But just in case you’re asked, be ready and willing to share your whole unvarnished truth, even if you know that it will not be welcome.

It will be one of the cleanest and most liberating practices of your life.

What someone doesn’t want to hear, can be delivered respectfully and gracefully.  But a sincere, blunt and clumsy truth is far better than any eloquently crafted lie.

Life is given, and not one other human being on the planet was given to live the life you’ve been given to live.  The given self lets you quit trying to live another life, which is what the quest for the ideal life is, and lets you begin to live your own.  Mari Perron

I’ve found that my given, most authentic self can’t get clear in the presence of white lies.  I’ve found that in order for my given self to flourish in resolute clarity, I must first take a stand for what I want, even when it disappoints another.

True freedom is found in the loving acceptance of self and in the glory of expressing as no one else can.

Comments

  1. LOL – I guess that means I should stop feigning illness when I’m meant to visit the inlaws on Christmas morning and tell them I simply don’t want to come.

  2. Andrea Hess|Empowered Soul says:

    I like this, Tom. It’s so true that we have to get very “real” with ourselves before we can get clear. We have to be willing to get naked in front of the mirror of our own consciousness. 🙂

    It’s a scary process to contemplate, but as illusion falls away, we actually get to work less and life gets soooo much easier.

    Blessings,
    Andrea

  3. Part I: So…Tom….define “truth”….

    Part II: For me, statements of truth come from a place of recognition of my splinteredness. When I start sentences with “A part of me wants/feels/needs…and another part of me wants/feels/needs….and yet ANOTHER part of me wants/feels/needs….” I know I’m speaking more truthfully.

    🙂

    Susannah

  4. Oh….how funny! My post links to my latest blog entry about contradictions! How perfect!

  5. Cath – Yes it will be wonderfully freeing for you to speak that truth. Relatives often present us with both the most difficult challenges and the most benefit for truth telling.

    Andrea – Yes as naked as a jaybird. 🙂 We can’t really hide form ourselves anyway. We might as well practice being transparent in every regard.

    Susannah – That’s a good way to tell and it fits in with my way. I can ALWAYS tell I have found a definite truth when I am concerned with what another might think about me. The difficult in sharing it points to the necessity of sharing it. I really do think it’s much easier than we let on. We always know the truth when we pause to find it. I’ll be sure to check out your post.

  6. I think my challenge is becoming better able to express the truth graciously. I have found that people appreciate the truth even when clumsily expressed (quite often in my case) – but if they know my intention is good then they willingly forgive any clumsiness. I don’t want to presume on this though.

    I think my process for finding clarity is a bit more confused/diffuse than yours. I usually write in my journal whatever comes up – write around different aspects of the situation or decision, and then something clicks. Not much use as a guide for anyone else I guess. Your process is a lot more transferable.

    Thanks for another great post.

  7. Evan – Perhaps but we must remember that it is often different strokes for different folks. For example I recommend using EFT to clear emotional baggage and about 1 client in five will either be unwilling to use it or it just won’t work for them (they think 😉 ) so in their case they must use a much longer clearing process closer to journaling like you use.

  8. I liked this post very much and feel that honesty with the self is often sorely lacking – some folks are just excuse factories – I have also discovered that by slowing down and taking a deep, deep breath I can have more clarity in a situation…

    Also not owning things, such as a conflict, is very helpful in finding clarity

    Appreciate your efforts here.

  9. Patricia – Yes slowing down and steeping back works well in many situations. Thanks for your wisdom and presence as a frequent commenter.

  10. Chris Edgar says:

    Hi Tom — I liked what you said here about the importance of being willing to accept the sensations that come with saying “no” — many of us, I think, experience a lot of intensity when we use that word, but becoming able to use it and be with that intensity allows us to make space to create what we want.

  11. I like your distinction between creating clarity or finding it. I think it’s always a process of seeing what is, and deciding how you want things to be … getting intentional and creating a story forward and a vision you want to make happen.

  12. Chris – Well said brother. It’s the intensity of being with whatever truth comes up for us in the moment that really liberates us from a lesser, more cloudy existence. The truth definitely sets us free and it also pisses us off. But it hurts so good.

    J.D. – Thanks man. Intentionality and seeing options is always the best route to clarity. Good observation. I also love visioning and use it in my coaching frequently.

  13. Great post about authenticity through clarity!

    I guess this is why I am still not feeling so great after feeling like I had to tell a “white lie” to get out of an obligation, and put my own needs first. : (

    I’m going to choose to look at my recent “no” in a positive light however, in that I actually did say “no” and chose to put my own needs first.

    I will keep practicing however. Clarity about who I am and what I stand for is important to me. My aspiration is to say “no” as authentically as I can, as often as I am able.

    Kara

  14. Francesco says:

    Clarity is my natural state of being.

    Francesco

  15. Kara – Absolutely! We must first love ourselves and that comes even before self-honor. You’ve got things in a perspective that will serve you well.

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