Do It Your Way

Herd mentality works best for the lead bull. If you base your decisions on what others are doing then at best you’ll create a poor imitation of what has worked well for them. That’s not good enough for you and you know it.

You can borrow methods, tools and processes from those who have actually made it. You can use others for inspiration. But in matters of decision-making you need to be your own man or woman.

We both know that you can do better by being more of who you are. Those in authentic pursuit of the business of their dreams are more likely to build it because that was their intention from the beginning.

Authentic business building means that you are committed to expressing your true self in service to your clients. Building authentically is an ongoing process of continually adjusting and refining your business to serve the lifestyle you most want to live.

The world conforms to original thinkers. They never conform to it. The material world rearranges itself to accommodate what a Thinker wants, and it does so as a Thinker is thinking and deciding. Why should you not expect the greatest and finest in your life? We exist in a Divine Bounty that awaits our taking, and the way of taking is a mental one that starts with desire, decision and expectancy. Raymond Charles Barker

Why not become prosperous in mind, money and fulfillment through the authentic expression of your own unique being?

You’re more than enough to enjoy life on your terms. Yet if you want to play in the arena of authentic work then you must bring your “A” game. That begins with deciding to go for it.

Sometimes we need a profound catalyst to more clearly see our calling.

Merlin Mann of 43 folders inspired this clarity for me in a poignant presentation on what I‘d call authentic blogging. This excellent rallying call is applicable to any business owner who wants to express and connect meaningfully.

Merlin inspired me to ask myself. “What or who do I care about more than anything?”

Professionally, I care the most about two groups of people.
1). Those who want to make to make the leap from the slavery of employment to the freedom of self-employment.
2). Those who have made the leap and want to be well rewarded for expressing their authenticity in their own businesses.

Delightful Work is the budding entrepreneurs Underground Railroad and a community halfway house to support small business owners who want more from life. That’s who I most want to write for and serve.

In my last post I wrote that clarity empowers progress. But what if you still aren’t quite sure of what you want? Start with desire.

Desire * Decision * Expectancy

Did you catch the steps to intended movement in Barker’s quote? I believe these to be necessary nutrients to sprout a special business in the soils of authentic entrepreneurship. They are requirements to authentic creation.

You must want to earn a livelihood from the core of who you are.

Without a burning desire to make the career change to build the life and business you most want – it’s all just so much talk. If you can’t locate that burning desire remain where you are. You may not be ready yet.

You must make the decision to go for it, in your own way.

There are no shackles keeping an unhappy employee from making the decision to seek his or her freedom. Yet emancipation does require courage. You have to be bold enough to seize the life you want to live. Jobs are handed out but freedom is seized.

You must positively expect resounding success from that decision.

Positive expectancy comes from a deep down, no-matter-what, confidence to commit and follow-through. Yet that confidence is born after the courageous decision is made.

These requirements will get you in the game. You’ll still need to play your heart out. But isn’t that what you want? Don’t you want to be thrilled and delighted as you pursue your true calling?

After sharing these requirements I’m often asked by dreamers who are considering becoming entrepreneurs, “What comes next? I’d really like to figure it all out before I begin.”

I always answer in the same way. You don’t get to see what comes next until you commit. When you meet these three requirements, you’ve earned the right to play the game. This is where you move from dreaming and planning to practical authenticity.

This point of action is the most beautiful synergy you can imagine. It’s here that your spiritual, mental, emotional and physical powers all meet as authentic expression in the marketplace. At that point you’ll see what you’ll need to see to take the next step and after that, the next.

Are you building an authentic business by doing it your way?

If you aren’t, do you want to?

How can I serve you? What part of the journey would you have me write about?


  1. Hi Tom: I love the idea that the material world conforms to the ideas of original thinkers. Most people spend their lives following the agenda of others, instead of taking the time and making the effort to craft their own agenda.

    Marelisas last blog post..10 Snazzy Ideas on Simplicity

  2. What an excellent article Tom (and I love the picture – as a kid I grew up with these animals!). So this is the community halfway house – I love it! Sounds like a perfect place for me to hang out! Positive expectancy – I’m working at getting there – this helps. Your words are a real honest look at what it takes, and a reminder for me that I do need to go for it…

    Lances last blog post..Guest Post: What’s Your Best Effort?

  3. Love that you mentioned Karl’s interview of Steve. Definitely a must-listen. A few yrs. back Steve’s blog posts were some of the first I truly resonated with and gave me much encouragement when I wondered if something was wrong with me. Why did I feel that I didn’t fit in at any job? Why did changing jobs never “fix” the problem?

    Right now I am on the cusp between desire and decision and I have to say, it’s getting more and more deliciously exciting every day. It’s not a matter of if, only when. Thanks to Tom that day has suddenly gotten a lot closer.

    I still have days where I am clinging desperately to the “figure it all out first” excuse but I can feel myself letting go of that. It’s very, very cool.

  4. I LOVE this article, Tom.

    Your statement “Yet that confidence is born after the courageous decision is made.” is great – and also that we don’t know what the next step is until after we commit, or take the first one. I think we all desire to be authentic, deep down – it’s the only thing that will satisfy us.

    Robins last blog post..How To Find Happiness

  5. Robin – Glad you recognized the truth in that statement. You never really know until you get there and that’s the best way to live. At least with an authentic grounding we can adapt knowing we are aligned for the highest good of all. The world appreciates genuineness.

  6. 2). Those who have made the leap and want to be well rewarded for expressing their authenticity in their own businesses.

    That’s me! That’s where I am and it is a blast! I love what I am doing. I never knew working could absolutely rock but it does. I’m presenting at the state science teachers conference on Friday and will have a booth in the exhibit hall. I am looking forward to a successful conference where we get more bookings than we could have imagined. I know we’ll be the talk of the conference because our program hits the target dead on and does it in a very creative way.

    Tom you’re a great coach. You encourage, inspire, and coach us into a great life. You keep referring to the dive into self employment as a move to freedom. IT REALLY IS! Jump in guys and gals, the water is great!!! (and get Tom to coach you!)

  7. Wow, That’s a powerful article. Reminded me of this quote –

    “When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.” –Barbara J. Winter

    Your article talks about having faith in self and believing you will learn to fly.

    Avani-Mehtas last blog post..Top 8 Motivation Hacks – #1

  8. I too like Christine want to “figure it all out first,” but I know this is impossible. What any entrepreneur does need to do is make a plan and be ready to adapt it as s/he goes along.

    If every step of the entrepreneur’s journey was all planned out we would get bored and we would want to do something else. The fun lies in taking on challenges that makes our creativity explode (in a good way). Like Tom said. When we can take these skills to the market place that’s when the fun begins.

    Karl Staib – Work Happy Nows last blog post..The Brightest and Best Minds All In One Place

  9. Evelyn Lim says:

    Oh wow…..I like your statement “You must want to earn a livelihood from the core of who you are” very much. More often than not, many of us have doubts that it is possible.

    We find it easier to carry on in work that we do not really enjoy. We feel that we need to conform to expectations and do what everyone else is doing or to model somebody successful, and are prepared to give up being ourselves in the process. The false pretense builds up. It stacks up high. But the more it stacks up, the deeper the hole we dig for ourselves in terms of being authentic. The price we pay is gaining freedom and being truly happy!

    Evelyn Lims last blog post..My Out-of-Body Experiences

  10. Hi Tom. I’m definitely a planner, but are learning this year that things are never ever really ready. Sometimes ya just gotta jump in and go with it! Jumping in with everything planned is metaphorically like swimming with a straight jacket on anyway. You give yourself less room to paddle. 🙂

    Davinas last blog post..A Ghostly Life Experience

  11. WOW!!! Possibly as you were writing, “You don’t get to see what comes next until you commit,” I was THERE – LIVING IT!

    I’d been toying with a new direction. I’d bought the domain name – I’d tossed the idea around – but I hadn’t done anything to “flesh it out”.

    I was definitely waiting until I “figured it all out first.” But that wasn’t happening. Something inside nudged me forward yesterday and I am amazed at how CLEAR the path became once I began the journey.

    You speak wisdom and truth! Thanks!

    Kathy @ Virtual Impaxs last blog post..Sneak Peak at WordPress 2.7 Dashboard

  12. What a great introduction to your blog, Tom. I’m so glad I came!

    Everything you said resonates with me, but particularly the expectation aspect. I learned through lots of back-and-forth, two steps forward and three back, how we can so easily set ourselves up for failure. We go along on a great burst of enthusiasm and energy, yet when results are slow in appearing, it’s easy to feel some pangs.

    That’s when we need to kick our beliefs into action. Without the belief in success, all the desire and planning and courage fall a little flat. Faithful expectation brings it all home. Barker placed extra emphasis on this point when he said, “Why should you not expect the greatest and finest in your life? ”

    Wonderful post!

    Julies last blog post..Been There, Done That

  13. I also love this article. You know I’m all about being authentic and love the concepts of authentic blogging and having an authentic business. Since you asked, I’d like to learn more about product and service development. I’m ready to offer services and products, but I need a kick to get started.

    Stacey / Create a Balances last blog post..Top Ten Signs I May Always Look Pregnant

  14. Loved “Without a burning desire to make the career change to build the life and business you most want – it’s all just so much talk.” I recently almost started another blog because I knew that it would monetize well. I bought the theme and began the setup and then realized that I wasn’t truly passionate about the topic. I like it, alot, but not enough to call it a burning desire.

    I sat down with my thoughts and feelings for a while and decided to let the idea pass. I feel so much better after letting it go. Melissa Thinks is where my burning desire is and I know in my heart that if I stay on that road everything else will fall into place.

    Melissas last blog post..Holosync Update

  15. Lorraine Cohen says:

    I echo many of the previous commenters Tom

    I would add one key point in the Desire, Decision, Expectancy and that is ACTION. I see that as the pivotal piece to bringing our dreams, desires, expectaions, intentions into a potential reality.

    Great read Tom!


    Lorraine Cohens last blog post..Flattered Into Saying Yes

  16. Mare – I knew you’d love this post. A reader of both of our blogs commented that we were both so upbeat! When you know that you are originally creating your own destiny – it’s easy to be upbeat, isn’t it?

    Lance – OK man you now have official residence status but that also means you have one foot our of the door of employment. How’s that feel? 🙂

    Christine -I’m overjoyed to hear you announce that you’re letting go of the “figure it all out” mentality. It’s truly a dead end. And that bold feeling of confidence is very, very cool.

    Laurie – Self-employment is a blast! Do you hear her enthusiasm folks? Feel the excitement in her words. Laurie says that entrepreneurship rocks! Does your work rock with such vigor? It can you know. Follow her example. Really if you’re afraid I’d love to encourage your leap.

    Avani – Wow back at you. Thank you for that powerful quote! Solid ground or air born – either way we just can’t lose.

    Karl – It sounds like you are in transition away from needing to figure it all out! Good for you man. Keep hanging around here and you’ll leap sooner than later. You’re right about the boredom. That’s why entrepreneurship is so much like sports. A big part of the reward is responding to the challenge and being surprised!

  17. Davina – I love your metaphor and it sounds like you tried it that way and almost drowned. Even though you didn’t ask, I now give you permission to no longer identify yourself as a planner. You may now call yourself one who seizes opportunity with boldness! 🙂 You are a brave heart!

    Evelyn – That doubt about earning from our authentic core is always there until we just do it. That’s why I teach folks to create something and ask for the money. The power is in the asking – not in their answer. It’s far easier to earn authentically than it is to try to earn while being someone that we are not.

    Stacey – Yep I know you love being authentic. Regarding our question. I have a few for you so I can be sure to help you see your point of resistance. I’ll put them in a comment on it’s own after this one.

    Kathy – Don’t you love those coincidences. 😉 I’m really grateful that you’ve shared this. So many of our readers need to know that everything can turn out fine. They need to realize, as you did, that even greater clarity and energy comes after the decision to move forward.

    Julie – Welcome! I’m pleased that you feel at home here. Expectation sometimes gets a bad rap especially in relationship, because when it concerns another we are often disappointed.
    But in matters of our own positive expectancy it’s kind of nuts to intend a desire, work for it and then not have faith that it is developing as intended.

    Melissa – You also bring up a very excellent point. It’s just as important to follow our hearts and say NO to something if we realize that we would not be aligned with it. I admire the strength that’s evident in your decision.

  18. Stacey – Thanks so much for asking a question in response to the questions at the end of my post. Here was my question.

    How can I serve you? What part of the journey would you have me write about?

    Your response – “Since you asked, I’d like to learn more about product and service development. I’m ready to offer services and products, but I need a kick to get started.”

    I may write a post on this so ‘d love to hear your responses to these follow-up questions.

    Are you resisting getting started because of a fear or concern or is that that you just haven’t made it a priority?

    Have you begun creating your products(s) or designing your services?

    Have you decided specifically who your target market is and what only you can offer them in your special way?

    What specifically do you think you need to know before getting started?

    Thanks in advance for responding to these.

  19. Great post Tom, I like the end, it is like you are driving a car with your lights on at night. You can only see until the next bend in the road on you don’t know what comes behind until you hit a well lit highway and all becomes clear!

    Watch out for roadworks! They slow you down but don’t hold you up.

    Click A Life Coachs last blog post..5 Points to Personal Success

  20. So, I’m now an official resident here in the community halfway house!! Does that make me halfway crazy — or halfway “there”… maybe a bit of both I suppose! One foot out the door…honestly that feels scary…(and exciting)…but scary is still the first thought I had…

  21. I love this post. I pretty much do this in my life, business, and my blog. It doesn’t always work, but when it does, man, it’s sweet!

    Mitchs last blog post..Feeling Good Tonight

  22. Hi Tom,

    My problem isn’t knowing my core or how I want to do it so much as the nuts and bolts.

    How to build traffic and such. (I have tried StumbleUpon and those who come from it don’t seem to become subscribers. It may be me of course, but for whatever reason they don’t.)

    So I’d like you to write more about getting traffic. There are some things I know that I don’t have the time for at the moment (I’ve got an exam in a week) – blog carnivals and such. It may be I just need more time.

    Being a bit provocative. I’d like to see some reflection on popovers. I hate the damn things and hate the idea of putting one on my blog. But lots of people are at the moment because Darren Rowse found they work (in the short-term anyway). So this is taken to be a reason for doing it. Whereas I think their just plain rude (Seth Godin would call it interruption marketing I think), which means it shouldn’t be done even if it works. So, if you’re game a post on to popover or not might be fun.

    Evans last blog post..Cancer Roundup

  23. Tom, this was a really wonderful article. Definitely one of your best. I know I am mostly a silent reader but you really do inspire me. What you said about: “You must want to earn a livelihood from the core of who you are”, that really hits a chord with me because I think this is what holds me back. I do want to make a living from my creative talents, but I am not sure in which manner and I question whether the time is right due to my other family commitments. Maybe it’s a barrier that I’m not stuck in some crappy job desperate to get out. I am the second earner and I only work when I want and I do love being there for my young son. But then the desire for my own creative income is definitely there, so what can I do about that? Lately I’ve even been considering giving up blogging to free up more time to go for it, but then I don’t know what IT is.

    Anyway, I love what you write and you’re such an insightful man. Thank you.


    Kelly@SHE-POWERs last blog post..New Hope and The Ship of Life

  24. Lorraine – Absolutely, the action comes soon after the first three. I also like slide focus in between expectancy and action.

    Click a Coach – Or can I call you Click? 🙂 Yep I like your analogy. We sure can’t see the road from the couch! We have to get in there an d see what develops.

    Lance – I think being scared is a prerequisite to being and entrepreneur and f delightfully crazy is a bade of honor. Keep moving man. It gets easier. decide – Act – Adjust – Decide Again!

    Mitch – that’s right. We can miss frequently but we survive and the sweet feelings of hitting the mark far exceed the pain of the misses!

    Evan – I think you do know lots that you don’t use. I remember seeing you in the Teaching Sells forums last year (I’m a dropout, I couldn’t handle the pace of new info). I really think I’m not the best guy to be writing on increasing traffic because I hardly look at my stats. My subscriber count keeps increasing but slowly.
    I think a better question might lets see if you can go more direct. Why do you want more traffic? Then what might happen?

    Kelly – It’s good to hear from you. We all have such limited time that I certainly understand only commenting occasionally. I can’t even get around to read all the blogs that I’d like to. I think that blogging needs to feed our creative juices and our wallets. If it’s not doing both for you and you’d like it to, perhaps that is the right decision. I’ve successfully worked with a lot of clients in your shoes. Often they have already hit on the answer yet they refuse to believe it because it didn’t come with trumpets and fanfare. What usually happens after a few sessions is that I force them to choose so that we have something to adjust. You have to get into action so you can realize where you are. I’ll try to post on this in more detail down the road. Be strong – your creative muse will not accept silence forever.

  25. “Regrets I had a few, but then again too few to mention…”

    I did it My Way!!

    Worked for Frank, we can do it our way too. In fact , sometimes it’s the ony way to get ‘er done!

    Jannies last blog post..3 poems and a child in a tree (now with preamble)


  1. How to Build a Legitimate Home Based Business Opportunity. | Unique Home Based Business Opportunity says:

    […] Authentic business building is doing it your way, by continually adjusting and refining your business to serve the lifestyle you most want to live. […]

  2. […] in high regard, you’ll build your business in a way that will ideally serve you.  By honoring who you are, you’ll also be in the best position to generously serve others […]

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