How To Start Over

Starting Over Do you know how to start over so it takes this time? An important part of your life or business is crying out for a fresh new start. There’s something magically freeing about wiping the slate clean and beginning new again – but we often waste that magic by stopping short of completion.

Some question their inherent capabilities after repeatedly failing to produce a desired result. Yet life coaching has taught me that there is nothing wrong with you, your capabilities or with starting over. What’s usually lacking is the faulty process that you’ve used. After this five-minute read you’ll know an effective process for starting over and successfully completing.

A fresh start comes ready made with fresh hope that this time things will turn out better and they will, if you’ll use this process that focuses your fresh start energy for maximum advantage.

Many folks attempt geographical fresh starts. Others get excited with the newness of a fresh relationship. Some get their kicks from cracking open a crisp new book. At least half of us have started diets and exercise programs dozens of times. With every fresh start we blindly hope that this time will be different. By why should it? A fresh start alone doesn’t guarantee different results.

Increased awareness while working this how to start over process will produce different results. The necessary ingredients are awareness, commitment, action, frequency, redemption and completion. Answer the question(s) next to the ingredient to work this process.

1) Awareness. What part of my life would most benefit from a totally fresh start? What realizations have I come to from my previous attempts in this area? If I’ve truly learned these lessons, then what do I intend to do differently this time?
2) Commitment. Why is the decision to commit to this change the most important commitment I’m making this month? (If it’s not important enough to drive eager involvement for at least a month, then you may want to choose again.) Looking forward 30 days, how will I feel having successfully followed through to completion? Write out a celebratory script in full five-sense detail. If you aren’t really fired up on day one, it likely doesn’t have enough energy to sustain your focus.
3) Action. What are three small steps I can take in the next three days to jumpstart my momentum? Take them one-a-day over the next three days.
4) Frequency. That leaves 27 days, looking at where I want to be on day 30 and back planning, what are 14 possible actions I could take? Take one of these actions every other day. You can change the specific actions once you get going. But if you begin with a pool of actions to choose from you will have increased your probability of success significantly. Frequency is often the missing ingredient in a faulty process.
5) Redemption. We cannot go back in time but we can stop the energy drain of past mistakes by arriving at a place of higher self-regard. Redemption, in this case, is the act of fulfilling a pledge to ourselves that we’ve failed to fulfill previously. By making amends we repair our own self-esteem and prove that we are competent to life. What specific end result would be self-redeeming and make me very proud?
6) Completion. Here’s where you claim the prize (benefit of your main completion) for following through. Imagining this prize is what created the desire for a fresh new start in the beginning. Make sure that this prize is meaningful and valuable to you. What prize will enthusiastically hold my focus for 30 days?

Now that you know how to start over are you going to seize this opportunity? There are no limits to the number of times you can start fresh. You can completely start anew over and over again. Inspiration doesn’t deplete itself. It’s a naturally renewing resource.

Come alive to your greater glory – commit to starting over today.
You can do it and you’ll be glad you did.

Contact you starting over life coach to make a strong start today.


  1. Hi Tom – I can see I’ve got a lot of homework to do since I’ve been away. And I need to make a few fresh starts so this exercise is going to be really useful.

    I guess that asking ourselves what we’ll do differently this time, is an area where many of us fall down.

    Cath Lawsons last blog post..Frugal or Flashy In Business – Who Wins?

  2. “We cannot go back in time but we can stop the energy drain of past mistakes by arriving at a place of higher self-regard.” That is a great line, Tom. I’ve learned (and still need to remind myself) to only deal with things that I can control and to let go of things I can’t.

    Starting over is sometimes needed in order to keep things fresh, new, and alive.

    Al at 7Ps last blog post..The Hero with a Thousand Jobs

  3. Wow this came at exactly the right time, thanks for this post. We all need to take a good look at ourselves and the actions that sabotage our success. While I’ve been very successful at consulting, many of my side projects that would get me out of the rat race have started with a lot of excitement, then fizzled out. I finally realized that as successful as I’ve been I have some areas for improvement, such as:
    -Trying to do everything because I don’t want to spend the money to hire others
    -Staying in the technical area rather than focusing on the business (classic e-myth)
    -Taking on undesirable contracts because I’m afraid to truly go for it
    -Not following through on things I started, getting bored, etc

    My goals now are to build a business with proper financing, build a strong team and get the help in areas that I don’t have as much experience. I”m working on a business plan and am meeting others that can help me get to the next level.

  4. Evelyn Lim says:

    You’ve made a number of worthy points: that we can start over and over again, that increased awareness with more skilfull actions will bring about better results and that inspiration is a renewable resource. I feel motivated in a rush of energy right now!

    Enjoyed the post. Stumbled!


    Evelyn Lims last blog post..7 Wise Confucius Sayings

  5. I feel like this was written with me in mind. Thanks for the points above. I have a lot of starting over to do. While I am extremely frustrated and angry with the circumstances surrounding my having to start again, I have learned a lot that I bleive will make my outcome better in the long run.

  6. Cath I’m happy for you that you recognize the need to begin anew in a couple of areas. As you say starting over also means starting over in the methods that we use.

    Will you seem to have an excellent handle on where you adjustments need to be made. I understand about fizzling projects first hand. But the ideas are still alive. You just need to back them with the right timing and energy.

    Hey Al you are a wise man to learn and let go. Bring on the freshness.

    Evelyn thanks for the stumble. That’s what inspiration is all about catching a wave and riding it. I hope you seize the day.

    Laurie I know that your recent big disappointment could have been crushing. But you’re stronger than allowing anything outside of you to set you back. Sometimes a deep breath and what now is the only course of action we have.

  7. Hi Tom,

    In some aspects, we can start over each day. After all, it is a new day, why not start it with a new attitude, a new routine, or a new look on life. It’s often those little things that make a difference in my life.

    Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Casual Friday – Open Mic

  8. This is a great list Tom.

    “Inspiration doesn’t deplete itself” – very well said, and very uplifting as well.

    Sometimes it seems like inspiration is gone, but all it usually takes is stepping away for a little bit – and to get another fresh start.

    Lances last blog post..Maintenance, Do You Do It?

  9. Barbara absolutely a fresh start every day is an invigorating experience. I’m enjoying one right now.

    Lance yes we can temporarily lose our inspiration but that’s because we are focused on something we don’t want. Just be looking at something we do want it reappears. Beautifully simple!

  10. Tom, your list provides much food for thought for anyone starting over. Awareness is truly number one. I’m reading Don’t Retire, Rewire! by Jeri Sedlar and Rick Miners and recently wrote a blog entry talking about what I’ll miss when I retire (or leave my current job).

    I love starting over. I’m on my 3rd career and moving into a 4th, sort of doing a start over before I actually leave my current position. That way when I leave I’m not left with a void and I’m looking forward to having all that time to really devote to my new thing. That’s the action and commitment part for me. I had a hard time getting going at first but I’ve got some momentum now and it feels great to be staying on track.

    It’s true, there are no limits.

  11. Cheryl welcome. Momentum is one of my favorite states to be in. That sounds like my kind of book. The only people who crave retirement are those who don’t enjoy their work. Sounds like you have an excellent transition plan. Please come back and inspire us again.

  12. Hi I am seriously trying to start over in life and i am 42. i have a extensive criminal real skilled trades to speak of and seriously feel there is no hope to fix the damage that has been done. I have terrible credit and see no way to fix it. I have no life or social skills what soever. I would die to be able to even think i could have a decent life left but just dont see it happening. The work that needs to be done..I just dont see it happening. I feel like so much damage has been done that it cant be fixed

    • Jim – As you know I emailed you to see if you were indeed a real person and I never heard back. However just in case you are, I’m responding to your comment. First off,you have to focus on what you want. The past is over. It affects you but your young. You have at least one half of your life to live. The fact that you wrote, tells me that one small part of you does indeed want to pull yourself out of this. So decide what you want, work on it and take responsibility for all you create. Do that and you will begin to see small changes. Hang in there. Come back and let me know how that works for you.

  13. @Jim- You still breathing my friend? If you have breathe you have an opportunity. I’m sure Tom can give you some great ideas and I would like to add that you check out a program called celebrate recovery. These are usually found at different churches and are for people trying to move forward from hurts, hang-ups and habits. You’ll find a lot of support from people who understand where you are.

  14. Travis O'brien says:

    This Knowledge is very helpful and I understand my challenges. I’m on a greyhound bus to Columbia Tennessee leaving things I can’ control which are my friends. They do things I don’t agree with so I’m going to make knew ones 2000 mile s away. I pick and chose my friends they don’t pick me.

  15. I just want to wash away all the stupid mistakes I have made, a freash start ………….. ahhhh .. That sounds perfect.

  16. im still lost. wish i could figure out why im here, what to do, how to do it, and how to succeed.

  17. Travis and Gret I hope you have made your fresh starts by now. If not I have an opportunity for you to wipe the slate clean. Email me at Tom@localhost/coreo

    Crystal – You won’t ever figure it out. Figuring it out is too much head and not enough heart. If you learn to discern form your heart you’ll make a good start. I can help and I’d like to.

  18. After almost three years working like a dog in the same job I have been suffering from work related stress due to an increased workload with an uncompromising manager.

    During my time off I decided that in the end my health comes first and I have been applying for better jobs in better companies to give myself a fresh start in 2012. I try to balance this with pursing my interests. It’s just so hard to make a fresh start is there any advice you could give me

  19. Andy, sure I’ll be happy to help. But I need to ask you a couple of questions. Send me an email to the contact form here and I’ll be in touch.

  20. Hello. We all share the same lack of content and loneliness to the big world. We all get here in increments and degrees. We feel lost, abandoned and helpless. As inspiring as everyones posts are, tomorrow is another day filled with stress. Sure it all sounds great on “paper” but after we turn the page, we struggle with our demons. It so overwhelming. Consistently. Ladies and gentlemen there is no fairy tale text book solutions. Just because this and that worked for him or her doesnt mean that you can duplicate someone elses good fortune and ride their coat tails towards success and content. Simply because everyones life is complexed separately in their own individual way. If you haven’t taken initiative then possibly you haven’t suffered enough. It’s up to you to discover what works for you. It really is simple. Decision making. After all, how do you think we got here on this blog. You already have the answers. Find them in the back of your mind.

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