Change just one thing about the way you think and every area of your life will get better, especially in the area of business and career.
In business we care way too much about what others think of us.
When making really critical career decisions we often look to others for career advice. Others can’t really give you the best advice. They always see things from their own perspective and through the filters of their own fears.
You’d be far better off to quit worrying about others and begin following inspirational career quotes like these.
Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire. ~ Dale Carnegie
Excuse me Mr. Carnegie but how about one step better than that? Why not accomplish something big instead of simply trying to?
Why should my happiness depend on the thoughts going on in someone else’s head? ~ Emerson
The right answer is – it shouldn’t. What someone else thinks, says or does, really has no bearing on your happiness unless you accept it as your truth.
You are the best the very best judge of what makes you happy.
You are the very best source of wisdom for your own career and life.
You, your thoughts, your choices and your actions determine your results.
There is a special livelihood calling you that you can turn into a business and make it successful because of your unique core makeup and life experience.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss
The opinion of others only counts if you decide to make it part of your identity.
Claim your freedom from the tyranny of outside opinion. Declare your freedom today.
One of those small changes that I have made that has had big consequences and really big gifts in my life happened when I decided to stop being a people pleaser. Instead of being a copy of what I thought you wanted me to be, I became me in all my full-blown glory. I still care about what you think, I just care more about what I think and who I want to be and become.
In giving up people pleasing, I found me. I found out that I do have an opinion and it is just as important as yours. I can disagree with your opinion and you will still like/love me or you will leave and both options are okay.
I give value to you and I also give value to me. We are both important. This is such a glorious place to be in rather than where I was when I was such a people pleaser that I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t have an identity because you might not like/love me if I did. I like/love the new me – the whole me much better.
Tom,
So true! In practice, though, I have a lot of trouble with this. Not sure if you follow the Mike Vick story, but to me, the most amazing thing about his play is how well he is able to play with all of the negative things people say about him. My situation is nothing like his, but yet, I’m much more debilitated!! I appreciate your assistance in breaking from of this negative pattern.
Hey Tom,
Your so right… change your thinking, change your mind, change your like. Wayne Dyer said “What other people think of me is none of my business.”
Coach Freddie… live from the VI’s
Patricia – Congratulations on making such a wonderful choice of transformation. By deciding to come into your own and standing tall around your own beliefs you are making the most authentic contribution to humanity as well.
Paul – It’s interesting that you bring up Michael Vick because I only follow him and as athlete, not a personality. As an athlete he’s been highly entertaining and I can take that pleasure and leave the rest without judging. He obviously has an inner strength and confidence that goes beyond his former poor choices. You are in the midst of letting go of this need to care too much about what others say. It’s a transition – you are making it now.
Freddie – Yes I do like that quote and I heard it originally in a twelve step program. I wonder if Dyer said it first? It doesn’t really matter it’s a good way to remember the lesson.
Hey Tom, Strange that I should come across this post just as I’ve been thinking about changing tack in my blog and feeling a ‘big bit’ vulnerable about the direction I want to take. Yet…something inside is telling me “way to go girl!” Synchronicity works in a weird but wonderful way! Thanks for this.
I think another lesson we can get from this post is that growth happens slowly and in ways that we can’t necessarily predict — if we’re looking for a sudden breakthrough that allows us to have everything we’ve always wanted, or the magic-bullet strategy that will make everything smooth sailing, we’re likely to end up frustrated.
This is a great reminder that you have to “own it” and to focus on what you control, and let the rest go. Meanwhile, hold yourself to a higher-bar, as a way to both guide your achievement and enjoyment along the way.
“Why should my happiness depend on the thoughts going on in someone else’s head? ~ Emerson”
– We tend to make a decision based on what other’s reaction. We seek for their approval before we go on with our plans. So if we think that they wouldn’t like it, we suddenly stop from there without considering other important factors that can really affect our decisions. Maybe, we should learn how to deal with it in the long run.
Too often, we want to change every single thing and make it perfect. When we stop and realize that it is easier to make just one change…an then another, we will get more lasting results. I think we need to turn off and tune out the noise of society for a while and figure out what that one small change is that will be right for us.
Motivational post that was! Many a times we get influenced by those who we think are better than us in terms of wisdom and experience but like you said it’s only their perspective and fear and so we should not get affected by their advice . Thanks , I needed this boost . 🙂 However we should also know how to judge the advice given by others , completely overlooking their experience and warnings may not be altogether helpful .
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Rosemary – Welcome! Yes love those authentic sychronicities. I’m happy that you are honoring the real you.
Chris – I hadn’t even thought of it that way but I do know the downfall of magic bullet thinking. I like to make small changes that have potentially big rewards and this is one of those.
Sheri – Welcome! Well said, societal noise never made anyone any money and it brings very little peace as well. Group think is only good with a positive focus.
Samantha – Welcome! Yep that’s what happens and it starts in childhood before we know to trust ourselves and our own choices. It sounds like you’ve declared your freedom!
Kate – Welcome! You’re right. Other opinions are only what they see through the filter of their own fear.
Most of us are too busy, too filled with anxious and needy thought to get to the point of self awareness to even know what it is we want. Isn’t that ironic? I flit around, sometimes feeling like I’m in my own zone, and at other times wondering if I’m just coasting on a wave.
I guess others can give good advice at times, and we can certainly use a good head to bounce ideas off of from time to time, but your advice is right: we each need to define and take ownership of our own unique destiny.
Great advice. Too many ppl are preoccupied with what others think, but we fail to realize it makes no difference in the entire scheme of things. Most people, when it comes down to it worry about themselves.. they aren’t thinking about you, and your failures all day long.
This is a great post! I honestly think some of my biggest personal breakthroughs to starting to accomplish some of my most meaningful work happened only after I stopped caring what others thought of my decisions.
I realized that the fear of others judging me had limited me on many major decisions, and that usually I wasn’t making all of “those people” happy anyways.
When I decided my own happiness was the most important, it really became the most important.
Yay! Thanks for reminding us that this kind of thinking is VERY important for our own sanity.
Kara
Bradley – Welcome. I appreciate your response. We’ve all been there. Too much head can spoil a good time. That’s why I go to my body and heart to make the big decisions.
Doc Natura – Well said man. Who really has time to be concerned with the idle thoughts of others. They often aren’t even there.
Kara – Yes your experience confirms the wisdom of looking within. It’s all there for the waiting when our mind is focused within.
A shift in perspective or vantage point empowers people to realize they are already perfect. From this view, no improvement is required. One either moves to embrace self-acceptance or pinches oneself off from it.
Absolutely right. Years ago when I was trying to figure out what I would do with my life my parents and career counselors discouraged me from chasing my dream of becoming a songwriter. I never realized my dream and to this day, I feel so much regret.
It wasn’t until much later that I realized I was blaming them for not taking charge of my life and doing what made me happy. It should have been my choice the whole time regardless of what anybody said. Live and learn.
Very realistic article….
I love this quote: Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire.
reminder to everyone..
Small difference and changes can mean everything. Well-written post, something to really live by. 🙂