Solo entrepreneurship can be a lonely journey and if you have a non-supportive spouse or significant other, it can feel even lonelier. Lately I’ve seen a greater number of brand new small business owners, who feel as though they are all on their own, even though they are in relationship.
Even if you are not presently in a personal partnership you may feel the need to seek relationship support from close friends and family members. In either case you may be been surprised by what appears to be the lack of unconditional support.
When I was building an entrepreneurial business 14 years ago, I was married with two young teenagers. During the business development stage, I was working over 70 hours weekly and telling myself the classic workaholic’s lie. “I’m doing it for them.”
It might make you feel better to rationalize your non-supportive behavior, but if you are anything like I was, deep within, you understand that being an absentee spouse and parent is not doing anything for them. Furthermore, you are mostly doing it for you and it’s okay to admit that truth.
If you need relationship help now, you’ll still need it while building your business but then there will even more pressure on all fronts. Everyone is familiar with a couple that tried to solve their relationship problems by having a baby. Did it work for the couple you knew? No? Then why would birthing a new business improve your relationship?
Here’s another big lie.
It’s not personal, it’s only business. Donald Trump
Everything is personal! When Trump and others use that line, they are only trying to justify less than human behavior.
You and the actions you take are the main reason why your business succeeds or fails. If your life sucks then your business results will suck.
If you have weak personal relationships that drain your energy, then your focus will be lacking. Without a strong focus, your decision-making, personal productivity and inspired actions will all suffer.
If you don’t have strong spousal support or unconditional support in your close relationships, you first need to understand them from their perspective.
When a life partner cautiously advises you not to venture out on your own, they are not questioning your ability or resolve to succeed.
They are only speaking from the perspective of their own fears.
They could fear having less time with you. Your initiative could be forcing them to face their own fears of success, of failure or of never being authentically fulfilled in their work. And of course they could be thinking about having less money and how that affects the household budget.
Good personal relationships are essential to making good business decisions. If you are fighting battles both at home and in the marketplace, you will lose on both fronts.
My first coaching certification was in relationship building and more and more it’s my relationship coaching skills that come into play first, with my small business clients.
If you’re considering starting a small business, first repair or end non-supportive relationships.
You might enjoy these tips for a confident career change.
Remember this brilliance in the face of relationship problems.
I’m never upset for the reasons I think I am. Eckhart Tolle
What relationship challenges do you need to understand greater, in order to build your business with less resistance?
What adjustments need to be made in your relationship with you, so that you are more grounded and your business is more supported?
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