I’m Betting On Your Authentic Good Sense

Have you ever been left with a feeling of frustration and empty promises after watching a video from a big name guru? Here’s the tipoff. If they say it will be packed with lots of content – it usually isn’t.

I wasted about 12 minutes watching one recently because the link came from someone who I used to trust.

But I smelled the stink early and checked the comments and that made me feel good. Sure 90% of the comments were of the brown nosing variety but it was the 10% that spoke the truth.

Some of these guys are so good at repeating the “what” 20 different ways that they confuse you into thinking you missed the meat. You didn’t miss it. Real meat wasn’t served, only the come on.

Then I realized. I already know more about how to treat a seeker than this guy does.

I already care more, share more and know more, than this seemingly well-respected guru was willing to share in his entire 90-minute webinar.

I bet you’re just like me. I bet you’ve read enough and experienced enough to be of great value to many.

I bet you know what’s authentic and what’s bull.

I bet you’re more ready, than you think you are, for whatever big change you want to make.

Readiness is a choice not a state of being.

Who are you when you dream big? Be that person.

I’m betting that you’re ready to make your move, right now. You are the source of your best career change advice.

Sometimes we simply need to quit seeking. Sometimes we need to quit following the guru and become the guru.

How about you? Are you ready to put your authentic good sense on the line? I’m betting you are.

The Authentic Way – Both Alone & Together

Where are you most likely to express authentically? While in community or while being a strong individual?

The more we express our authentic uniqueness, the more likely we are to enjoy fulfillment, prosperity and freedom, …in a word success.

So if success is based on the expression of authentic uniqueness what causes you to feel safe enough and strong to express authentically?

In what environment are you more likely to take a stand? I’ve witnessed heights of individual expression within supportive community that could not have even been birthed walking alone.

But yet there is the beautiful paradox. Standing tall as individuals, pushing back at conformity, best occurs in a connected environment, with the support of others.

In order to come into your own, you must not stand-alone.

Parker Palmer endorses the paradox.

Your most beautiful and most valuable expression of authentic individuality cannot be reached by going it alone.

Being the rugged individual of American myth is actually less courageous, than standing tall in relationship.

Community inspires. Community provides connection and meaning.

The most loving, confident and strongest version of you only emerges in deep connection with others.

Be fully you, while being with me and we’ll see one another as we are meant to be.

Have you experienced bolder individual expression within community or by going solo? Have you experienced unconditional support?

Success Via Authentic Connection

I believe that the more we express our authentic uniqueness, the more likely we are to enjoy fulfillment, prosperity and freedom, …in a word success.

I believe that authentic expression counts for more than hard work and more than knowing the right thing to do.

Since success is based on the expression of your authentic uniqueness, what causes you to feel safe enough to express authentically?

What causes you to confidently express original thoughts?

In what environments are you more likely to take a stand?

You and I were meant to do something very special.  That’s why we are so unique.

But what if, in order to come into our own, we could not stand-alone?

What if your most beautiful and most valuable expression of authentic individuality, just couldn’t be reached by going it alone?

What if a certain part of you, (the most confident and strongest part) only emerged in deep connection with others?

What if the special music you came here to sing could not be sung solo?

If these words speak to you are interested in cooperative, authentic connection, let me know.

Authentic Inspiration Zaps Procrastination

Authentic inspiration is to procrastination what sunlight is to darkness.
Procrastination or any form of resistance just can’t coexist in the presence of authentic inspiration.

I’m going to go against the grain here and take a stand for inspiration.  Especially since Seth Godin came out with his excellent book, Linchpin, I’ve seen an awful lot written about battling resistance.  His marketing advice is topnotch and it always stretches my noodle.  But I think he’s missed the mark on resistance.

But Seth isn’t the only one.  Many authors and self-help gurus recommend taking a stand against resistance.  They say that you don’t have to feel good in order to create, follow-through and complete.  Seth goes so far as to recommend ignoring your feelings.

You’re familiar with this Nike-like philosophy of just sucking it up and doing it.   Use willpower and discipline they say.  Face the fear and do it anyway.  I used to spout this same rubbish until I stumbled on a better way.

More on that soon but first a confession; I’m a big tough guy and a talented, experienced coach but I’ve lost more battles with resistance than I’ve won.

Resistance is by definition self-sabotage. Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it’s the easiest to rationalize.  Steven Pressfield

Resistance can also show up as distraction, obsession and avoidance.  Really any made up excuse or rationalization that keeps you from doing what you want to do, is resistance.

“Just Do It!” makes sense but why is it so damn hard to just do it? I understood that I get more done by diving right in but I more often run than dive.  Resistance is a sneaky bastard.  Sometimes you can trick it and sometimes not.

Sometimes accountability works and sometimes not.  Sometimes a sacred and honorable pledge will work and sometimes not. Sometimes looking at your deepest motivation  (why) for creating what you’re creating will work and sometimes not.

Have you had similar struggles with Resistance? Have you tried but found the “just do it” advice lacking?

I think that Seth and the boys assume that since willpower works for them it will work for everyone just as well.  Apparently not.

Self-control is an exhaustible resource.  Chip & Dan Heath from their book, Switch: How To Change When Change Is Hard.

Self-control is willpower, discipline, sucking it up and just doing it.  And we can run out of self-control.  I think traditional productivity experts have forgotten all about this oldie but goodie.

What we resist persists.  Perhaps resistance is so powerful because we keep fighting it. Ignoring feelings is resistance.  Sucking it up is resistance.  Standing up to resistance is resistance.

How about we try something that we can’t run out of?

Inspiration is inexhaustible as long as it’s authentic.

I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to work around resistance.  You don’t have to stand up to resistance.  You don’t have to suck it up and just do it.

Instead how about tapping into your naturally occurring flow of authentic aliveness?

How about working on something that naturally inspires you to feel really good?

I wonder what that might be?  Here’s a hint.

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.  Howard Thurman

So my friend, what brings you alive with natural enthusiasm?  What brings joy to your heart and puts a spring in your step?  What work calls you?

One of my biggest challenges as a true calling coach is helping clients to see how they can transition into a true calling inspired business without putting everything at risk.

One of my biggest personal challenges used to be completing what I started.

So I’ve been experimenting with ways to serve my calling while at the same time finding a solution to my completion struggles.  I’m very excited to tell you that I’ve found the solution to both.

Today I’ve launched that solution in the form of a creation/completion product that you can use to Create Your Inspired Info Product In 5 Days. Purchase on or before Friday March 19, and save 50% off.

The easiest way to start a true calling inspired business is to create and sell an authentic product.   This guide inspires you every step of the way, as you complete not by sucking it up but by riding a wave of authentic aliveness.

Life doesn’t have to be one big struggle after another.  We were first built for joy.
I’ll close with a powerful video where Pamela Bruner takes us through a delightful EFT tapping session that uses fun instead of willpower to make challenging tasks easier.   This video is wonderful for creating a state of inspiration.

Get your copy of Create Your Inspired Info Product In 5 Days.

How To Extract Your Best Business Idea

You have powerful points of wisdom within that when expressed could be your authentic edge in the marketplace.  That wisdom represents better business ideas than anything your conscious mind realizes.

We talk a lot about authentic expression in terms of standing up for what’s important and in terms of life purpose but I don’t think we talk enough about our inner wisdom and how to extract it.

When you decide to express your well-earned inner wisdom you set yourself apart in remarkable ways.  It’s your wisdom and no one else can express and exploit it like you can.

Your best idea is waiting just below the surface, buried under your lack of willingness to dig and your fears.

How about instead of waiting for true calling epiphanies you take a look at how to dig deep and extract your own inner wisdom?

 

 

Major Wisdom Extraction Realizations

1). Forced Urgency is like a shortcut because it goes directly to the engagement of wisdom extraction.
2). With Increased Decisiveness you can discover, decide on and develop wisdom much more quickly than imaginable.

Forced Urgency

One of the most practical therapists I’ve ever read is Nathaniel Branden. He’s written classics such as The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and Taking Responsibility.  One technique that Branden uses to extract wisdom is the technique of Sentence Stem Completion.

When we intensify awareness, we tend to generate a need for action that expresses our changed psychological state.  Nathaniel Branden

By swiftly answering strategically chosen sentence stems, six days in a row, with at least six complete sentence endings, we access resources that normally remain hidden from our consciousness.

Without the exercise this wisdom does not normally show up in our behavior. This powerful technique doesn’t give enough time for self-doubt and questioning so resistance doesn’t rear its ugly head.

If you’d like me to email you complete instructions on this technique ask for them here.

Increased Decisiveness

Resistance adores delay. It will seize any excuse to delay you just long enough so that your original inspiration fades.  Resistance knows that when left to discipline alone you are more likely to give up.

Self-control is exhaustible.  Chip & Dan Heath from their book, Switch: How To Change When Change Is Hard

So if self control (willpower, discipline) is an exhaustible resource, it’s only a matter of time when burning adrenaline alone, you run out of fuel.

What’s the answer?  Increase your speed to action by making decisions much quicker and engaging them much sooner.  In a word, decisiveness.

Surprisingly speed inspires sounder decision-making than careful analysis. When you’re quick about it, the best ideas surface and it’s easier to pick out the viable ideas from among the junk.

We have assumed that taking longer and being more thorough is good for us.  But getting lost in the delay of over-analysis is always more costly than acting decisively and making lots of mistakes.

What’s your experience using forced urgency and greater decisiveness?

Free Business Confidence Podcast

I think it has a lot to do with these three factors.
1). They didn’t go deep and extract their waiting wisdom so the idea was not authentically aligned.
2). They never followed a firm, creation/completion process with supportive structure and environment.
3). They were not able to use discipline and willpower to follow-through.

 

Make Your Life Count

Every thought, spoken word, environment, person, and deed contributes to what you are in the midst of creating. iStock_000003842598XSmall

Everything counts to move you in the direction of what you want or in the direction of what you don’t.

Standing pat is a lie.  When you think you’re standing pat you are really slipping slowly away from what you want.

Authenticity must me chosen again and again.  Authenticity is an active practice.

Look within and decide what’s really right for you.   At your core you are brilliant.  Quit pretending that you don’t know how to be real.

Your conditioning wins when you refuse to stand tall and choose what only you can create.

Here’s one thing that really pisses me off!   It really pisses me off when people say everything has already been invented.   It really pisses me off when they say everything has already been created.   Bull!  Even the sandwich I ate yesterday was an original.

Don’t spread that crap.  I’m not here to live some copycat life and you aren’t either.

You’re one in 6,775,480,099 and you doubt your uniqueness?  Bull!  You have what it takes.  Cash in on your authenticity!

There’s a direct link between authenticity and prosperity and you’ll never make the connection by believing that you can’t.

Even your environments are unique.  Environments either support or smother.   What’s the environment at your work doing for you?

Other people either encourage or exhaust.  Are you hanging around encouragers?

We live in a black and white world but we’d like to believe that we don’t.  We want to believe in grey because it seems like a place of rest.  But the only real sanctuary is aliveness.  Playing it safe is a slow death.

The only real refuge is found within courageous, authentic practice.

I’m working on something really big right now, it’s scaring the hell out of me and I love it.

We were built for aliveness and challenge.  We were built for glorious boldness.  We were built for hard charging.

We are warhorses.  We were built to gallop.  When we try to trot through life, by just getting by, we never reach the true authentic creation that we’re capable of.

Everything in your life you create, promote, allow or refuse.

Create anew.

Or … open your eyes wide to accept and allow.

Or … choose to endorse and promote.

Or …be strong and say no thank you.

Wake up! There are no other choices.

Wake up! Your life is happening right now.

Wake up! Everything counts. Choose authentic aliveness.

Become more aware to lessen the effect of random occurrences.  Decide what works, what does not and bravely choose what works.

Choose life or lose life.  It’s your call.

Celebrate Your Strangeness

I was engaged in some rapid channel changing and heard a speaker at the Michael Jackson memorial service telling Jackson’s children not to believe that their Dad was strange.  Huh?   This speaker meant well but you and I both know that Jackson was about as strange as one could be. iStock_000006278956XSmall

And his strangeness made him rich.

Being strange and having the courage to express your strangeness is a very good thing.

We tend to revere oddness and weird exceptionality in our celebrities but at the same time caution against standing out from the crowd.

But only good things can happen by being strange.

We need to embrace our strangeness, bring it forth and express it.  In fact our strangeness is the business edge we’ve looking for.

Shopping malls make me want to puke.  Their sameness is depressing.

How likely are you to want to do business with the most common, normal, regular, standard and usual option you can find?

Wouldn’t you rather invest in a relationship with someone astonishing, astounding, atypical, bizarre, curious, different, eccentric, exceptional, extraordinary, fantastic, far-out, marvelous, rare, remarkable, wonderful, or unheard of?

Expressed strangeness can be very good for business.  I understand that many of you struggle declaring a niche.  How about choosing a niche that spotlights your peculiarities?

Here are some of my most sincere wishes.

I wish that we could only fit in by standing out.

I wish it were forbidden to allow fear to stop you.

I wish it were illegal to settle for less than you could be or have.

I wish we were all encouraged to embrace our strangeness from cradle to grave.

Have you been holding back for fear of not fitting it?

We all fall prey to it in one way or another.  I want to encourage you to celebrate your authentic strangeness.

If you’re self-employed, your strangeness could be the only thing that will save your ass.

But strangeness can be a shy, odd cousin who’s been kept in the basement far too long.  You may have to coax it out gradually.  Here are a few hints on how to invite your strangeness out.

1). What do you deeply care about, so much so that you’re willing to take a stand for it?  Identify that and you’ll be better able to identify the specific strangeness that could give you your edge in the marketplace.

2). What eccentricities do you secretly admire about yourself?  If you thought that your pot of gold were at the end of the rainbow of utter transparency –  would you reveal yourself fully?

3). Where do you tend to say screw being cautious, push societal limits and take concepts to the extreme?  Here’s where your big balls are found and we all know the glory that can be seized with a big set of balls.  Don’t fret, if you can identify this extreme it’s a given that you have the strengths and capacity to pull it off.

4). What abnormalities are you curiously attracted to?  Within this area of singular fascination could be the personal breakthrough you’ve been yearning for.

Your commonness is killing you. Being common is boring and unattractive. It’s hard for us to notice the normal you.

Please be your strange self and we’ll love you even more.

In your comment will you answer one of the questions above?  I’ll get us going. Here’s my answer to number 3.

I tend to take authenticity to an extreme wildness.  I abhor appropriateness because I think it’s boring conditioning.  Thus I’ve been called too raw, too direct and even obnoxious.  But I love my raw, fearless nature because it allows me to steadfastly champion my coaching clients who want to blaze trails of their own.

What’s the Truth About Authentic Work?

You compensate.  I compensate.  To some degree we all compensate for a lack of authentic work.  Over time we’ve made stuff up to rationalize our unfulfilling work.  We’ve pretended, avoided and shirked responsibility in order to make our work fit who we are. 

If you’re an employee, chances are, you’ve resigned yourself to a fulfillment-starved life.  If forced to tell the truth, you’d admit that you’ve settled for far less than fulfilling and delightful work.

I don’t bash employment just because it’s slavery.  I bash employment because so many employees are lying to themselves.  So if I have to piss off ten of you to wake one of you up, I’m happy to do it.

Here’s proof why employment is inauthentic for at least 90% of employees.

Your job was not created to give you greater freedom; it was created to restrict your freedom.

Your job was not created to give you greater opportunities for authentic self-expression; it was created to limit your self-expression.

Your job was not created to fit who you are; it was created to serve the needs of your employer.

Your job was not created for your economic benefit; it was created to increase the prosperity of others.

However, it’s not your suck ass job that’s killing you.  What’s killing you is all that compensation.  What’s killing you is all the time and energy you invest trying to fit a mold that is not a fit for who you are.

It’s draining as hell to fake it all the time.  When you act like something doesn’t matter and it does matter, you shrink your soul and smother your authentic spirit.

When your job doesn’t fit, then in order to survive, you must compensate by showing up as a lesser version of yourself.  This lesser, lower self is false and it takes a lot of energy to offset a lack of expressed authenticity.

All of this accumulated faking has diluted the true you so much so that your authentic voice can’t be heard because of all the excuses you spout.

So how can you find the gumption to live a bigger more vigorous work life?
Do two things.

1). Make space for your authentic voice by silencing your fake self.

All of your accumulated compensation is emotional and intellectual clutter and clutter must be cleared.  Without space for your authentic self to express and act, your little, fearful self will keep running the show by avoiding, pretending and shirking responsibility.

2). Create a work environment that brings you robustly alive.

Mike Tomlin, head coach of our world champion Pittsburgh Steelers knows how.  The Steelers are now holding their three-day mini-camp.  It’s the first time that rookies get to work out and train with the veterans.

A reporter asked Tomlin how he determines that a player has the hunger to be a champion.  Tomlin said he doesn’t look for hunger, because hunger can be satisfied.  He’s right; multi-million dollar contracts don’t guarantee that a player will even make the team.

Instead of hunger, Tomlin looks for drive.  Drive is aggressive readiness along with the energy to undertake taxing efforts. Drive is hustle, initiative, vitality, and get-up-and-go.

Drive is natural when we find or create our authentic space.

Scroll up and look at that picture ofHines Ward again.  At the wide receiver position, Hines is one of the most powerful and vicious blockers in the league.  Whether he makes the hit or gets hit – he always bounces up with that big ass smile on his face.  Hines is in his natural element.  He’s found his authentic space.

We can apply this lesson in our search for authentic work.  Authentic work isn’t a craving to be satisfied but an environment in which your natural drive can express itself.

This is so important to understand because fear around not having enough money is the number one reason folks give for not making their move to the freedom of self-employment.  But money is about hunger not drive.  Hunger is only temporarily satisfied.

Fear not, you’re authentic work is also seeking you.  Create some space and you’ll be more able to see it.

Find or create an environment where you can naturally speak your truth.

Find or create an environment where you are eager to do the work.

Find or create a work opportunity where you are driven to excel and then both your drive and your hunger will be fulfilled.

 

Stand Up For Individuality

Do you champion individuality?  Do you routinely encourage unique individuals to express themselves?  Do you listen to your authentic individuality or your fears?  It’s fun and freeing to boldly flaunt your wild, uninhibited individuality.

As a coach, I listen to client fears and prescribe tools and strategies to move  forward in spite of them.  This process is a big part of foundational life coaching before clients are confidently ready to apply business coaching.

Listening to the core fears of hundreds of courageous people has honored me.  These individuals are courageous because they are willing to fully express their fears.

The similarity of their fears is very telling.

You may believe that your fears are unique to you but they aren’t.

You either have fears of success or of failure.  You may have fears of not being capable in one area or another.  Or you have fears of not having enough time or enough money.  That’s it.

A vast majority of the fears fall into one of those five categories.

Individuals are brilliantly unique but their fears are strikingly common.

The marketplace rewards authentic differentiation and devalues what’s common.

Conformity is common.  The fearful conform.  Conformity is common obedience.  Conformity dilutes individual power and dulls authentic brilliance.

What do you think stops you from living fearlessly as the unique individual that you are?  Overtime fears become solidified as powerful limiting beliefs.

You only believe in your fears because you’ve lived with them for so long.  Your fears have crafted the frightening story that you keep retelling.

Yet your fearful story is just who you thought you were.  There’s nothing authentic about that story – it’s just an illusion created by years of over-thinking.   It’s not who you really are.  But you do have a choice.

The longer it takes for you to choose bold authentic expression – the longer it will take you to get what you want.

Taking a stand for your own unique individuality is a courageous and necessary component of evolution.

Buried beneath all of you fears may be an even deeper fear of your own brilliant individuality.

They have come to understand that – no punishment anyone might inflict on them could possibly be worse than the punishment they inflict upon themselves, by conspiring in their own diminishment.  Parker Palmer

I rally round the freedom flag of self-employment because working as an employee automatically makes you smaller.

Working as an employee is a consciously chosen path of personal diminishment.

What if your greatness can only be unleashed through the boldness of self-employment?

What if your fulfillment can only come by being your own man or woman, in every way?

What if the one true key to lasting business success is authentic expression?

If you are good at being you, products resulting from your ideas and character will have excellence built into them. Egbert Sukop

Others suffer by paying for inferior products and services when you settle for a job just to pay the bills.  But when you are unfaithful to your true self – you suffer the most.

If you are here unfaithfully with us – you are causing terrible damage.  Rumi

It’s time to quit telling lies about your own capabilities.

It’s time to quit repeating your fears.  Instead it’s time to embrace your wonderfully quirky individuality.

I’m looking for those who are ready right now to shed their cowardly skins and stand tall in their authentic brilliance.

You must make the decision to go for it, in your own way or your authentic brilliance will starve from a lack of self-respect.

I seek to work with the bold.

I seek to inspire and to encourage the bold.

Is it you?  It’s my honor to coach you to your greatness. Can you imagine laughing in the face of your fears?  Using the right tools you can free yourself.

There is a radiating enthusiasm building within you right now.

Free it.  Ask these questions of yourself.

“What magnificence is seeking to awaken within me?”

“What bolder, freer life is calling me forth?”

“How could I engage my individuality to astonish myself?”