Three Ways To Build Self-Confidence

We create unnecessary pressure in our pursuit of career or business success. Since both fulfillment and money are attracted to confidence, building your natural confidence is essential.

Here are the three most powerful ways to do so that I’ve learned in thirteen years of coaching.

1). Seek wisdom within, not without. Before you can start an authentic business you must believe in yourself enough to make the move. Beliefs determine possibility. Resolve and determination come from clearing limiting beliefs and accomplishing small wins.

Desire = Proof of Capacity. If you did not have what it takes to complete and idea – that idea would not have come to you. You are enough. In fact you are more than enough to complete the purpose you came here to complete. BUT you cannot keep searching for “the” secret to success on the outside. Your secret to success is only found within.

2). Make the decision you fear making the most. Decision-making is an active affair. Even if you’ve hit rock bottom and need to start completely over again you can do it by being more decisive. The best decisions are made and acted on. We are adaptable beings but if you remain a thinker and never a doer, you won’t get the opportunity to adapt. Without action your best possibilities remain hidden from your view.

Waiting serves no one. Any movement works. You must get in play and walk down the corridor to see what doors will open. You can’t see them without taking action. You’ll remain blind to your best opportunities unless you start now.

3). Understand and act on the basis that you are not your past. You only hesitate to do what you want to do because you believe more in your past than in your magnificent possibilities. Your past is primarily based on the erroneous assessments of others. Their opinions do not count when it comes to creating the life and business you want. You are far more than your past. Your past only exists to show you the wisdom of contrast. By seeing what you don’t want and filliping it – you’ll be able to see what you really want.

Your majorpoint of adjustment lies within none of these three.  Which is it for you?

It’s not too late; you can start completely over and make a fresh start.

You have what it takes to get what you want.

You can find your natural confidence.

You can see and make your special right path decision.

When you make that right path decision you will have the confidence to follow through and finish what you start.

If you’ve always wanted to make the leap to the freedom of self-employment but need more confidence then you can …

 Schedule a Confidently Make the Leap  – Free Strategy Session.

In this strategy session you will: 

  • Get really clear about the business you want to have.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from moving forward.
  • Plot out the right timing for you to make your move.
  • Identify the one thing that will give you the confidence to take the leap.
  • End the session inspired and knowing exactly what you need to do next to make your move.

Yes Be Yourself But Not By Yourself

You are not alone. You are connected but you often don’t act like it.

You are not supposed to face challenges by yourself.

Going it alone creates separation and discord. Following the myth of the rugged individual entrepreneur is not the surest path to success.

Going it alone causes you to judge yourself and exclude others. More fear is conjured out of thin air when you try to handle it all by yourself. Fear breeds more fear. Connection breeds strength.

Going it alone creates doubt and delay. Connection is a much better way.

What if the surest way to success and fulfillment was connection and you aren’t really connected?

What if your higher self cannot fully reveal your calling while going it alone?

What if true service can only be realized in deep connection with others?

What if life really happens for you, not to you but in order to get that you can’t go it alone?

It’s only through connection that all good things are allowed and received. Business is no exception. Value is exchanged because of the trust in connection.

I believe that connection is the missing link between authenticity and prosperity. Don’t you find it more rewarding to truly express who you are when others encourage you to do so?

Authentic abundance is the natural state of affairs in the Universe but we can’t see it while working alone. The fear of being alone, blocks out the warmth of serving others.

Money is attracted to confidence. I think confidence increases to the degree that we hang with others who are eager to unconditionally support us. Confidence builds as others voice appreciation and recognition for our creations.

One of the biggest blocks to creating original value occurs when solo business owners feel judged and not supported by others. When entrepreneurs feel the sincere well wishes of positive intention they care less about what others think because they can feel the sincere connection.

Even if you’re self-employed, how could you increase your connection to like-minded others in the same boat?

What concerns come up for you when you consider being more vulnerable in connection with other small business owners?

Do you think the quantum physicists are correct when they say that everything is energy so we already are connected to everything and everyone?

If you knew that to be true without doubt, how might you conduct business differently?

Five Disturbing Ways To Make More Money

If you want to make more money you must radically disturb your current money making methods and disrupt your money earning patterns.  istock_000007398707xsmall

To earn more money you must vigorously shake things up.

In this post I talked about doubling your income.  By March I had increased my income but I was falling short of doubling it. I knew that I’d have to adjust to achieve my annual objective.

The thing I love about being a one-man conglomerate is, I am the company. The self-employed can turn things around on a dime, try more stuff, fail faster and adjust.

Earning money is such a wonderfully twisted, emotionally laden experience.  Perhaps you’ve recognized the futility of trying to figure it all out.  Even those who earn a ton of the stuff are still in fear of it, or more accurately in fear of losing it.

When it comes to making money about the only thing we can count on is confidence.  Somehow income increases along with confidence.

But the part that most folks miss is the brilliance of individuality in creating confidence.  Moneymaking methods that universally work well are more hype than fact.  What works for someone else is most likely will not work for you.

So how can you confidently express your individuality to earn more money?

Shake things up.  Disturb the hell out of what’s not working.

From a state of being shaken you’ll be more likely to take frequent action, embrace mistake making and choose again.  That doesn’t happen from a state of certainty.  Certainty encourages us want to stand pat.

Trial and error are crucial to unearth your freedom.  As long as you are willing to fail again you are as close to freedom as you’ll ever be.  Egbert Sukop

Here are five agitators that have seemed to work for me.  I can’t tell you what combination will work best for you – that’s the beauty of individuality.  But if you want to make more money, begin by engaging the strategy that scares you the most.

1). Triple your service and double your fee. Step up and play a bigger game.  Increase the value of your service by increasing your commitment to your client.  Increase the value of your service by increasing your consciousness about your client’s business.  Increase the value of your service by coming up with ways to make your client’s clients more prosperous.  People pay you what YOU think you’re worth.

2). Flaunt your individuality. Really how are you different?  What quirks define you that you can bring forth in service to the world?  Our world is half-empty without the expression of your sweet spot.  Our world is half-full when you have the balls to even consider coming all the way out.  Being your wild self is liberating as hell and others want to encourage your liberation by supporting you.

3). Carry a flag that rallies your niche. Understand what that flag represents to those who are drawn to rally round it.   I carry two flags.   I carry the flag of self-employment because self-employment offers the most supportive structure for freedom and individuality.

I also carry the flag of coaching because the essence of coaching is insight discovery.  Coaching accelerates realizations and demands living an examined life.  At least the way I do it.

I absolutely love coaching the self-employed who want to earn more money and freedom by flaunting their individuality.  I also love coaching courageous first time entrepreneurs through the process of business discovery, launch and startup.

I carry the flag by challenging first timers to leave the slavery of employment and by challenging the already self-employed to express themselves even more boldly.

That is my sweet spot and the world is a better place because I’m fully engaged and fiercely serving there.  If you can’t boldly make a statement like that – then you are playing too small.

To make more money – play a bigger game.

4). Ruthlessly simplify. Simplification encourages clarity.   Clarity empowers focus.  Quit trying to be all things to all people.  Start saying no thank you more often.  Cut down on everything.  Become a missile of destruction to everything that does not serve you well.  Constantly question your activities by asking these questions.  “Will this increase my earnings?  Does this directly increase the value of my service?”

The more simple and focused your life is, the more wealth will be created.  Steve Chandler


5). Increase your willingness to choose.
Then see what happens, adjust and choose anew.  Delay is always costly.  Delay almost always signifies the victory of fear over choice.  What would increase your willingness to choose?  Do that.

Make your decisions more valuable by seeking out many more options before deciding.  Anything you can see in hindsight was there in foresight; so keep looking and expanding your options.

After deciding then commit with every fiber in your being.  Really go for it.  Come alive by backing your own choices until it’s clear that they aren’t working and then swiftly repeat the process.

Commitment without attachment to results is empowerment in action.

Quit standing pat.

Shake things up.

Be your bad ass self and earn more money.

Ready to make your courageously leap to the prosperity and freedom of self-employment? Then enroll in this free coaching expereince to identify your next best step.

Is Your Inner Child Still Running Your Life?

At six years old, I was a wild little rascal who liked to try out studio wrestling moves on my unsuspecting friends.  I was fearless back then in an untamed kind of way.  But gradually my wild spirit got crushed in my upbringing.  em-adn-les

My Dad believed in the scared shitless variety of psychological punishment.  One time he got me good.  He had a friend with a black sedan pull up the drive way and told me they had come to take me to Morganza, the local reform school.  I believed him and I ran away and hid out I the woods until I thought it was safe to return.

Our conditioning is the cumulative affect of our upbringing and all the applied thoughts that shaped our version of who we think we are.

I’ve talked with hundreds of coaching clients about their upbringing and the norm was a general beating down.  We were not celebrated for the special beings that we are.  Often we were not encouraged to go for our authentic greatness but instead cautioned to play it safe.

Even then, as five and six year old children, we tried to make sense of this irrational parenting so we made up explanations.  Often what we made up had us feeling less than capable.

But those events really only had the meaning that we interpreted them to have.  The good news is that now we can go back and give those events new meanings that serve us well.

Now we can honor the little person within so that a stronger and wiser self if running our lives.

Your Inner Child As Hero

It truly is remarkable how you’ve turned out in spite of your upbringing. Look at the four choices we have in any challenging situation.  We couldn’t really remove ourselves because we were dependent on them.  Change wasn’t an option either.  Try working with an alcoholic parent to change your relationship.  Good luck there.

Acceptance wasn’t even a concept I could fully understand until my forties and many adults never learn it.  What was left?  Resistance, but even our resistance was thwarted.  It never got full expression, so the only thing we could do was to swallow it and turn it back in on ourselves.  As a result we made a series of false conclusions to try and make sense of things.

That’s why we need to write a whole new story about our childhood.  Your inner child is still influencing your capacity and in many cases right up to the limits of what you set for yourself in first and second grade.

But your inner child was and still is quite courageous.  Don’t you think it’s time to honor his or her courage?

Now You Know Better

As adults we are responsible for our destiny and that includes any and all needed adjustments on how we recall our history.

Truly, as tragic as it was, our parents did the best job that they were capable of at the time.  But now that you know better, it’s time to write a new life story.  It’s time to tell the truth to yourself about your remarkable capabilities.

Have a dialogue today with that little guy or gal (who is still within affecting your results) and allow him or her to understand what happened.  Talk it all through.  Explain that you made it all up in order to make sense of the world and now you know better.

Essentially recondition your conditioning.

Give it new meaning.  Give a new meaning that serves you well.  Here’s how to do that.  Your story needs to be strong enough to heal the little boy or girl within.

Give Her What She Needs Most

Imagine a spot where you sat and pondered in your home when you were six years old.  I sit with Little Tommy on the back porch steps and talk with him while he sits on my lap.

So sit with your little gal and talk with her.  Ask her what she needs.  Really get into imagining that you and her are sitting in a place at the home where you grew up.  Invite the dialogue;  she’ll welcome the opportunity to get it all out.

Don’t judge her, just give her all the time she needs to say everything that comes up.  If you cry, that’s very good, just let it all flow.   Some folks do well setting the scene and then writing out the questions and answers.  After she says what she needed, that she didn’t get back then, your job is to reassure her that all is well now.  Then give her what she needs to feel whole.

Tell her that you’ll give her the support, recognition, celebration or encouragement that she missed out on all those years ago.

Assure her that you will love her and acknowledge her and give her all that she needs.  Give her a closing hug and be sure she feels like she can come to you to talk things through any time.

Your inner child is still setting limits and running your life.  You might as well give her or him a new script to follow because you are the creator of your destiny.

Building Career Confidence by Feeling Deeply

How do you see the connection between feelings and confidence? passing the baton

How about the connection between awareness and confidence?

If I bring more consciousness to what I do when I am angry or afraid — I will see that other options exist.  Nathaniel Branden

How do you view the connection between awareness, confidence, feelings and career or business success?

If we are willing to stay fully present to our emotions without denial or disowning, the result typically is not the collapse of reason but the emergence of more lucid awareness.  In other words, feel deeply to think clearly.  Nathaniel Branden

What does this quote inspire you to do differently?

I’ve written a much longer post but my intutition told me to first ask you.   There is no one right answer.  I’d like to know your answer to any of the questions above.