Wounds + Authentic Makeup = True Calling

iStock_000000231241XSmallWould you be the person you are today without the experience of surviving your major life wounds? I’ve been pondering the idea of a truly benevolent Universe. In such a Universe everything conspires for your highest good.

Everything includes every annoyance and even your most heart-breaking disappointments.  Every challenge has been for your good and the highest good of everyone else involved.

Normally when we say “it’s all good”  – it’s after a big hurt when we are coming to terms with a disappointment or an outcome that at the time was not a desired.

Yet if the Universe is indeed a benevolent, cooperative environment, that takes everything into account for our ultimate blessing, then perhaps these are its operating principles.

1). You and I came equipped with the exact completely unique and authentic makeup we need to create whatever life’s work we most want.

2). Our less than encouraging childhood not only frightened us from expressing authentically but at the same time built our strength and determination to one day become more fully authentic.

3). Our stumbles, failures and suffering were all necessary so that our resolve to serve others with the same suffering, could build itself to a point of unwavering commitment.

Our wounds influence our passions.  These passions over time become our heart’s desires.  What if we needed the experience of being scared to death in order to really care enough to seize a true calling?

Perhaps our true life’s work means so much to us that deep within we can’t imagine not going for it.

Is it possible that your vocational uncertainty and resistance to working a true calling is an attempt to deny the very pain that has made you who you are?

Perhaps your one true vocation calls you like no other because no other could have felt your pain like you have.

Yes both your authentic makeup and your life experiences have prepared you to answer your sacred call.  It’s great that you’re afraid.

If you aren’t afraid then you can’t really care enough to make a difference.  If you don’t make a big difference, you won’t make a lot of money.  If you don’t make a lot of money you’ll be less able to be generous with others.

That’s the beauty of being selfish in service to others.  What’s really good for you is even better for humanity.

Embrace your wounds; they have made you the strong woman or man that you are.  Your existence here is not a cruel joke.   You were meant to do the work that only you can do.

Life is for living all out!  You can make a difference and make more money by being the boldly beautiful being that you are, wounds and all.

Too Good & Challenging To Miss

Readers of this blog know that I love wake up calls and fresh smacks in the face.  I’m convinced that the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to tell the whole truth to ourselves about ourselves. Great idea!

Realizations are essential to creating the life you want to live.  Never stand pat.   Choose powerful stimulating experiences.  Coaching is really an experience in insight stimulation and engagement.

Fresh realizations come charged with the energy to create.  That’s why it’s so important to seize your moment of discovery with bold action.

So here’s some truth jarring stuff I’ve come across lately for your reading and listening delight.

Bill Weil has made his powerful relationship book, New Earth Relationships, available on audio down load.  It’s so good I use it as a tool with my relationship-coaching clients.

In the Crappiness of Happiness Egbert Sukop will piss you off, shake you up and give you a major case of head scratching.  I love what he says about the “bitch lag”.

In Are Your Dreams Big Enough, Slade Roberson asks some wonderfully challenging questions.  Answer them – you could change your life.

What are you reading or listening too that rocks your world?

Your Best Career Is Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Is it inauthentic to do the things that you don’t like to do?  Just because a career choice is challenging does that automatically mean you’ve chosen the wrong career?

I’m writing about our comfort zone because many have confused authentic work to mean something that is such a good fit that it comes easily.  But natural and easy are not the same things.  colorful fireworks show silhouettes

This myth of ease has caused more harm than good because it causes many to question themselves.  This self-doubt makes them stop before they can seize their best career.

Some believe that when we have chosen the right career, (when we are living our purpose) doors easily open and everything falls into place.  I know a few who have enjoyed that level of validation.

But what about those who don’t? Does that automatically mean that they haven’t chosen their best career?

Not necessarily. Things don’t necessarily fall into place for us just because we’ve chosen well. An essential part of choosing well is recognizing the opportunity when we miss the mark and adjusting our aim accordingly.

Until we walk down the hallway of action we can’t see which doors will open.  In 1998 I thought I’d found my best career as an inspirational speaker.  But until an audience member asked about coaching, I was blind to the very opportunity that was my best career fit.

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.  William Ellery Channing

We can be completely in our element and still be challenged.

Challenge and authenticity do not exclude one another.

What if things never fell in place for you? Would you quit life? Would you give up entirely?

Consider for a moment, what makes the comfort zone comfortable?  Please just pause and answer this question before reading on.

What make activities fall into a zone of comfort?  I think it’s because we’ve already experienced them before.  They are familiar to us.  In other words when we are in our comfort zone we are experiencing another version of the same past that we’ve already experienced.

In bullfighting there is a term called querencia. The querencia is the spot in the ring to which the bull returns. Each bull has a different querencia, but as the bullfight continues, and the animal becomes more threatened, it returns more and more often to his spot.

As he returns to his querencia, he becomes more predictable. And so, in the end, the matador is able to kill the bull because instead of trying something new, the bull returns to what is familiar. His comfort zone.   Carly Fiorina

Test this theory.  Go ahead I dare you.  Think about a time when you felt totally alive.  Recall a time when you felt a vibrant pulsing in your body and a real sense of adventure.   Were you challenged or were you comfortable?

Were you taking part in a new activity or repeating something you’d already done?

I thought so.  So tell me please, what’s so damned good about comfort? Comfortable isn’t even that much fun.

The couch beckons all of us when we need relief or rest.  Yet comfort is not what makes life interesting.

Life is to be lived flat out in circumstances that arouse.

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.  Emerson

Perhaps you already have found your best career.  Perhaps everything you’ve ever wanted is just on the other side of your current challenge.  Dare you persist and see?

Wildness

Liz Strauss at Successful Blog is asking for only 25 words of wisdom on something you see too much or too little of. I’ve always been inspired by two things, brevity and wildness, so I had to accept this wonderful challenge. I’m grateful Liz. Here are my 25 words.

Boldly express your wildness.

Release all fear of judgment.

Inspire us with your raw, untamed vigor.

Be the wild spirit who came here to soar.

What’s Good About Being Challenged?

I just read a powerfully stimulating post by Slade Roberson at Shift Your Spirits. Read his latest post, What’s Wrong with What You Want?
Slade said, “Your most challenging moments are what defines you — your senses of empowerment and spiritual development become most apparent during the tests, trials, and tribulations.”

I believe he’s suggesting that when challenged, we show our true mettle because we are called then to rise up and meet the challenge.

This caused me to wonder. Is challenge natural? We often resist challenge, or at least the struggle that comes with it. But upon further reflection, I wonder if the stimulation within the call to action is what we craved all along. I think this is what we mean when we use the old saying, “It’s all good!”

For example, take the employee who abhors the lack of autonomy in his job. Doesn’t he really love to hate it so that he’ll eventually use the energy of that hate to finally make his move to the freedom of self-employment? Or take the freelancer who wants more work that she loves to do. Doesn’t she complain about the less challenging work so much that she stops the flow of it?

If challenge is natural, perhaps we could save ourselves some stress and struggle by simply making more authentic decisions and committing to following through. Perhaps the more direct route to getting what we want is to embrace the challenging situations in our lives by inviting them, instead of avoiding them.

So how about you? What’s most natural to you? Do you feel more yourself at ease or in action?

Could this change at how we look at challenge actually get us more of what we say we want?

If health and wealth is the natural state of affairs in the universe, then why do so many of us seem to make it so difficult to allow abundance in our lives?

Could it be that we actually want to be tested so much so that we create the necessary drama to rise above it? What do you think?