Courageous Individuality

Thank goodness this isn’t the norm today but this was true for girls of my generation. It used to be, if you asked an 11-year-old preteen what she wanted on her pizza, she decisively said, pepperoni. But ask her just four years later at 15 and she’d be more inclined to respond. “Oh I don’t know, what do you want?”

Cultural pressure to fit in is a powerful conditioner that affects all of us.

It’s takes a lot of courage to stand tall, speak up and boldly act as an individual.

But expressing as an individual is your only chance if you want to create an authentic business with sustainable prosperity and fulfillment. Conformity is not a selling point. Being average is dull.

Yet the truth is, it’s far easier to just go along with the crowd and follow a system created by someone else, than it is to boldly and authentically speak your mind.

So what. Who said easy and comfortable wins? Hyped up marketers pitching systems tell lies of easy money and big riches. If it sounds too good to be true it’s not either right? So why do we fall for those lies?

I know why. We fall for them because it’s safer not to stand out. It’s safer to hide behind someone else’s creation than to expose our own vulnerable individuality.

But these, more and more often, systems are collapsing and remarkable individuals are succeeding.

Money is attracted to confidence and I think it might be time for all of us to take a look at the path less followed.

What if your greatest potential source of confidence was your expressed individuality?

What if your greatest way to make more money was also your greatest way to make a difference?

Spiritually evolved communities have been announcing a new age of consciousness for years now. It seems to me that we are willing to lend our financial and emotional support to those who create authentically.

I hope you can see that this is your time to serve humanity through individual expression. I’ve realized that a true calling can be started in a much smaller way than I’d originally recommended. To follow your calling you can take the big leap off the cliff or barely stick your toe in the water.

In fact a more prudent entry point for many could be starting smaller. That’s why I’ve been creating a product that combines the three most powerful concepts I have experience of.

1). The Supportive Accountability of Coaching

2). The Authentic Aliveness of True Calling

3). The Inspired Productivity of Completion

 

You can’t save the day by sitting on the sidelines. I hope you agree that it’s your time to push all of your chips to the center of the table and bet big on your individuality.

 

First Comes … The Courage To Listen

iStock_000009645441XSmallWhat made you begin to listen to your still, small voice within?  Was it the pain of not doing so?  Most of us put off facing even the possibility of true calling for as long as we can stand it.

I think on some level we are aware of the pain and suffering we’re causing ourselves but the alternative of trusting life and the fear of what a calling might demand of us is even greater; so we continue to endure the pain.

I can tell you from first hand experience that following a calling does not make us immune to chaos.  Often things don’t work out the way as planned.  But the decision and ongoing commitment to honor an authentic path does pay off.  The courage to first listen and then accept what we hear is both necessary and deeply fulfilling.

We must be willing to get shaken up, to submit ourselves to the dark blossomings of chaos, in order to reap the blessings of growth.  Gregg Levoy

Recognition + Less Resistance = Increased Clarity of Calling

When you’re on the right track you can feel it.

When you are being more fearless than fearful you know it.

What you might not know is that you are enough. You are strong enough and talented enough to answer your call.   It’s yours and yours alone to be expressed in only the way that you could express it.

But it begins with trust, with trust and with powerful questions.

It will increase your trust and give you some powerful questions.

Face up to this dear reader.   There’s a good reason why you’re drawn to read about true callings.  You can sense the sacred invitation to follow your path.  It comes first as a whisper, then a nudge and eventually a violent shaking of your life.   You do have the courage to listen now.

It’s more fulfilling and magnificent to call on your boldness in the good company of those who also are committed to answering their call.   Take a small step forward and you’re life will be changed forever.

Don’t make it about the money.

 

Stand Up For Individuality

Do you champion individuality?  Do you routinely encourage unique individuals to express themselves?  Do you listen to your authentic individuality or your fears?  It’s fun and freeing to boldly flaunt your wild, uninhibited individuality.

As a coach, I listen to client fears and prescribe tools and strategies to move  forward in spite of them.  This process is a big part of foundational life coaching before clients are confidently ready to apply business coaching.

Listening to the core fears of hundreds of courageous people has honored me.  These individuals are courageous because they are willing to fully express their fears.

The similarity of their fears is very telling.

You may believe that your fears are unique to you but they aren’t.

You either have fears of success or of failure.  You may have fears of not being capable in one area or another.  Or you have fears of not having enough time or enough money.  That’s it.

A vast majority of the fears fall into one of those five categories.

Individuals are brilliantly unique but their fears are strikingly common.

The marketplace rewards authentic differentiation and devalues what’s common.

Conformity is common.  The fearful conform.  Conformity is common obedience.  Conformity dilutes individual power and dulls authentic brilliance.

What do you think stops you from living fearlessly as the unique individual that you are?  Overtime fears become solidified as powerful limiting beliefs.

You only believe in your fears because you’ve lived with them for so long.  Your fears have crafted the frightening story that you keep retelling.

Yet your fearful story is just who you thought you were.  There’s nothing authentic about that story – it’s just an illusion created by years of over-thinking.   It’s not who you really are.  But you do have a choice.

The longer it takes for you to choose bold authentic expression – the longer it will take you to get what you want.

Taking a stand for your own unique individuality is a courageous and necessary component of evolution.

Buried beneath all of you fears may be an even deeper fear of your own brilliant individuality.

They have come to understand that – no punishment anyone might inflict on them could possibly be worse than the punishment they inflict upon themselves, by conspiring in their own diminishment.  Parker Palmer

I rally round the freedom flag of self-employment because working as an employee automatically makes you smaller.

Working as an employee is a consciously chosen path of personal diminishment.

What if your greatness can only be unleashed through the boldness of self-employment?

What if your fulfillment can only come by being your own man or woman, in every way?

What if the one true key to lasting business success is authentic expression?

If you are good at being you, products resulting from your ideas and character will have excellence built into them. Egbert Sukop

Others suffer by paying for inferior products and services when you settle for a job just to pay the bills.  But when you are unfaithful to your true self – you suffer the most.

If you are here unfaithfully with us – you are causing terrible damage.  Rumi

It’s time to quit telling lies about your own capabilities.

It’s time to quit repeating your fears.  Instead it’s time to embrace your wonderfully quirky individuality.

I’m looking for those who are ready right now to shed their cowardly skins and stand tall in their authentic brilliance.

You must make the decision to go for it, in your own way or your authentic brilliance will starve from a lack of self-respect.

I seek to work with the bold.

I seek to inspire and to encourage the bold.

Is it you?  It’s my honor to coach you to your greatness. Can you imagine laughing in the face of your fears?  Using the right tools you can free yourself.

There is a radiating enthusiasm building within you right now.

Free it.  Ask these questions of yourself.

“What magnificence is seeking to awaken within me?”

“What bolder, freer life is calling me forth?”

“How could I engage my individuality to astonish myself?”

Killing What Scares You

Don’t kill what scares you.  Embrace it!

What scares you the most is your raw, untamed authenticity.

istock_000003792360xsmallWhat scares the hell right out of you is the crazy brilliance that you know you really are.

This post is a call to action for those who want even more inspiring and fulfilling work.  If you really love your job – quit reading now.  But if you really want to bet the farm on you – read on!

As a career coach, here’s the question I hear most often.

“What will I be when I grow up?”

Here are two better questions.

“What was I before I grew up?”

“What wild part of me have I allowed to be beaten down and killed, for fear of being judged?”

Never destroy any aspect of personality, for what you think is the wild branch may be the heart of the tree.  Mrs. Henry George

Cultural conformity is fear-based pressure created so the real you doesn’t rock the boat

Accumulated conditioning, rules and collective fears, all pushing societal stability, will continue to separate you from your authentic wildness, if you allow it to.

Most folks claim they want their authentic freedom. But they act as though they want stability and safety.

Stability and authenticity exclude one another.

Take a stand.  Refuse fear.  Live fearlessly.

Allow your authentic wildness to flourish once more.

Don’t kill your wildness.  Flaunt your wildness.

If you really didn’t give two shits, about what anyone would say or think – what would you do then?

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. – Dr. Seuss

Choose boldness!

Your time is now.  Waiting is stupid, fearful thinking.  Quit listening to those who fear their own power.  The cement truck could flatten your ass tomorrow.  How’s that for timing?

It’s not timing but expressed uniqueness that truly determines exceptional success.

We increase the probability of creating a life of freedom, fulfillment and financial prosperity to the degree that we are willing to express our exceptionality.

It’s time for you to choose.  Quit allowing cultural appropriateness to crush your wildness.

It really does start with not giving a damn.  What do you think the world rewards more, being nice or being authentic?

By choosing authenticity you’re going to piss some people off.

So what, what has playing it safe done for you so far?

Be naughty.  Misbehave.  Break some stupid rules.

Be the eccentric character you really are and some may hate you.  But some will adore you.

Your only obligation in life is to be true to yourself.  Being true to anyone else or anything else is impossible.  Richard Bach

Don’t wonder what you’ll be when you grow up.  You’re already too damned grown up.  Be a kid again.  Ride your wildness all the way to the bank.

I’m not just all talk about this.  I deliver.

Bold lives are chosen and created.

Have you the courage to create the life you most want to live?

No excuses, you either do or you don’t. If this time doesn’t work for you, go here to request your own test drive coaching experience.

Embrace what sacres you.  The world is waiting for your light.

Speak Up – Silence Makes You Poor

We must stand tall and speak up or our silence will make us poor. Money is attracted to confidence. Attractive confidence is the direct connection between authenticity and financial prosperity. istock_000001684995xsmall1

We naturally feel more confident when we are speaking our mind in full authentic expression.  Every time we allow fear to silence our authentic expression, we poke little holes in our personal integrity and erode our confidence.

Often we are given opportunities to right a wrong, clear up a misunderstanding, enhance a relationship or express true feelings, but instead we take the easy way out, by putting up with what we could change.

I’m a big believer in accepting what is. But we can also be smart and remove ourselves from the presence of people and situations that are not good for us.

It’s essential to identify and eliminate situations that we needlessly tolerate.

Let’s define tolerations as things that bug us, sap our energy, and could be eliminated!  There’s a small payoff to carrying tolerations – you get to feel kind of noble about your burdens and your forbearance. But, believe me, it’s a very expensive source of self-esteem.

Tolerations are holes in your personal success cup; they drain away your contentment and good fortune.  They drain YOU.  They make you feel less attractive to yourself.

Tolerations often represent compromises you’ve talked yourself into.  Thomas Leonard

Leonard included physical clutter and all kinds of limbo projects in his master list of tolerations.  Most of you have felt the tremendous resurgence of energy that comes simply from cleaning a closet or an office.  My coaching clients and I have experienced even greater relief and enlivening from taking a stand and expressing it.  It’s your turn.

What unresolved situations or unmade decisions have you avoided dealing with repeatedly?

Which of your relationships is more energy draining than inspiring?

Where are you withholding being totally forthright, because you fear the consequences, even though you know that you’re out of integrity by remaining silent?

Where do you resist telling the whole truth to yourself, about yourself?

Make your list, select one, face it and fix it permanently. Then cross it off and feel the rush of authentic expression.

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For those in Pittsburgh this week, Tom is speaking on Thursday, 1-29, noon, at the Carnegie Business Library on Wood St.  The topic is: Is Self-Employment Right for You?