Yes Be Yourself But Not By Yourself

You are not alone. You are connected but you often don’t act like it.

You are not supposed to face challenges by yourself.

Going it alone creates separation and discord. Following the myth of the rugged individual entrepreneur is not the surest path to success.

Going it alone causes you to judge yourself and exclude others. More fear is conjured out of thin air when you try to handle it all by yourself. Fear breeds more fear. Connection breeds strength.

Going it alone creates doubt and delay. Connection is a much better way.

What if the surest way to success and fulfillment was connection and you aren’t really connected?

What if your higher self cannot fully reveal your calling while going it alone?

What if true service can only be realized in deep connection with others?

What if life really happens for you, not to you but in order to get that you can’t go it alone?

It’s only through connection that all good things are allowed and received. Business is no exception. Value is exchanged because of the trust in connection.

I believe that connection is the missing link between authenticity and prosperity. Don’t you find it more rewarding to truly express who you are when others encourage you to do so?

Authentic abundance is the natural state of affairs in the Universe but we can’t see it while working alone. The fear of being alone, blocks out the warmth of serving others.

Money is attracted to confidence. I think confidence increases to the degree that we hang with others who are eager to unconditionally support us. Confidence builds as others voice appreciation and recognition for our creations.

One of the biggest blocks to creating original value occurs when solo business owners feel judged and not supported by others. When entrepreneurs feel the sincere well wishes of positive intention they care less about what others think because they can feel the sincere connection.

Even if you’re self-employed, how could you increase your connection to like-minded others in the same boat?

What concerns come up for you when you consider being more vulnerable in connection with other small business owners?

Do you think the quantum physicists are correct when they say that everything is energy so we already are connected to everything and everyone?

If you knew that to be true without doubt, how might you conduct business differently?

Cash in on the Hidden Gold Beneath Your Fears

For every entrepreneur who has already seized the freedom of self-employment, there are at least 10 who want to but hesitate to take the leap. As a coach, it’s obvious to me that these folks are looking at what they fear – rather than what they want. But how can we encourage them? How can we help them to take action in spite of their fears?

Here’s one way. As a card-carrying member of the Eternal Optimists’ Club, I often ask this question when faced with an unexpected challenge. What’s good about it?

This morning I began pondering what’s good about my fears? What’s the value of fears? Fears arise for a reason. Behind every fear is a path that leads to greater freedom and fulfillment. So one could reasonably argue that fears point to a value that we cannot see until we face the fear.

In order to bring forth our pure and fearless selves, we need to face and examine the fears that are coming up for us in the present moment. We won’t find the gold by being afraid to look, and we won’t find it by looking in the wrong place.

Often a coaching client will share that he or she is in a funk and doesn’t know what it is, or what has caused it. Then the client will begin an ineffective pursuit to find out why. Why do I feel this way? When struggling, do not seek to understand why it is that you struggle. You’ll seldom be able to find the truth from that perspective.

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
Albert Einstein

Instead, try making the assumption that you are fearful of something that needs further exploration. Instead of asking the judgment-laden question: What’s wrong with me? Or: Why am I feeling this way? Ask: What do I fear? If you are the kind of person who avoids facing your fears, you may have more than one fear. No sweat, just write them all down until the most demanding culprit reveals is itself. Then inquire internally to find one or more things that are good about the specific fear.

There is hidden gold waiting to be mined just beneath the surface of your fears. You just need an approach that will help you to see the gold. Below, I’ve offered five approaches to uncover it. First read the approach and then answer the accompanying fear identifier.

Fears point to decisions that need to be made.

What decision(s) have I been putting off?

Fears show us that greater truths need to be realized.

Since fears are imagined and not real, they are there to help us to transition to what is real. What greater truth am I not seeing because I’ve been afraid to look?

Fears alert us to potential danger.

What signs am I misreading or not seeing that could cause me harm?

Fears expose our erroneous self-judgments.

Where have I been doubting and judging myself without any proof that it’s true?

Fears show us what is stopping us by revealing our excuses.

What stories have I been telling myself in the form of excuses that stop me from taking action?

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. Dale Carnegie.

In order to be fearless, we need to face our fears as they arise. That way there is no build-up and nothing lying in wait that comes back to get us. Your fears are your friends. They exist to show you value that you haven’t yet seen. Don’t allow them to determine your destiny by fearing. Instead, allow them to shine a light on your optimum path by courageously facing them.

If you’ve read this far and still have fears, then you have yet to answer the questions above. Answer them and become the fearless creator you were meant to be.