Stop The Madness

Get To The Heart of the Matter

All madness stems from too much head and too little heart.

I’m not talking about certifiable insanity but the regular, daily madness that drives us crazy.

The way out of any challenge is to find a point of hopeful willingness. That’s the point where you can clearly see a next step action and you feel inspired to take it.

That point doesn’t come from over-thinking. It doesn’t come from asking why. And it seldom comes from searching for a better how to. Those are all head games and head games are complex.

Instead you must get to the heart of the matter in two different ways.

1). The first way is to go deep, connect with your heartfelt desires and come from within out.

Ask yourself.

Deep in my heart what do I care about the most here? If I put my dear self first in an extraordinary demonstration of self-love what might I do? What do I really want?

If you are looking too much at outside conditions and circumstances you’re looking in the wrong place.

2). The second way to get to the heart of the matter is, to boil it down to its essence.

Brevity creates clarity and clarity empowers. Boiling it down best occurs with persistent, audacious inquiry. Ask yourself.

What’s really going on here? What else? If I could answer the question that would save my ass, what would that question be?

Stay with the inquiry until you hit upon a startling truth that smells very clean and fresh.

Combine that truth/action in service of what you really want and the madness will stop.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been down or what’s going on around you. What matters is in your heart. What matters is getting to core, boiled down clarity and acting now.

There is no limit to the number of fresh starts you can make.
Audacious inquiry will save you every time.

Leveraging Your Deepest Wound

We’ve all been through hell in one way or another. I’ve lived 60 years and I’ve met one person, a 30-year old woman who told me nothing bad had ever happened to her. Just two months later her husband ran off with a co-worker.

Stuff happens. You know by now that it happens to all of us. Some think that our experience was so beautiful, before we came here, that we wanted to visit Earth just for the contrast.

Well folks, for now I’ve had enough contrast. How about you? Are you ready to return to bliss?

I think the doorway to bliss runs straight through the pain and understanding offered by our deepest wounds. Whatever that profound life experience was for you, you would be well served to leverage it so that you could benefit from it.

Normally when we say “it’s all good” – it’s after a big hurt when we are coming to terms with a disappointment or an outcome that at the time was devastating.

You’ve paid the price why not claim the prize?

The wilderness constantly reminds me that wholeness is not about perfection…. I have been astonished to see how nature uses devastation to stimulate new growth, slowly but persistently healing her own wounds. Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. Knowing this gives me hope that human wholeness–mine, yours, ours–need not be a utopian dream, if we can use devastation as a seedbed for new life. Parker Palmer

Parker Palmer is a very wise teacher. He understands the value in devastation.

How about you? Are you leveraging the gift of your deepest wound or are you still running from its pain?

We don’t have to hit bottom to really learn these big lessons but it certainly gets our attention.

You could be leaving gold on the table. If this idea appeals to you just ask these three questions.

What’s good about my wound?

What has it enabled me to see that I could never have seen without it?

What message might I see if I dared look?

Big Life Lessons and Hitting Bottom

Do we really have to hit bottom to learn our big life lessons? Instead couldn’t we simply choose to stop the downward slide a little early and learn the lesson before major damage is done?

Inertia being what it is, we are all in a downward spiral in some area of our life. The big question is what to do about it?

You don’t want to catch a break.

When things were tough my Dad was always hopeful of catching a break. But the trouble with catching breaks is you’re putting your faith in the random generosity of others. Wanting to catch a break is a passive position where you are not in charge of creating your own good. Instead I’d rather know where they are tossing breaks so that I can put myself in position to receive one. Better yet why not make your own breaks?

No pain, no gain is bull.

Instead of catching a break how about you catching you? Once during drunken horseplay with fraternity brothers I fell head first and backwards over a third floor landing. I flipped completely over and somehow reached up at the last minute and grabbed on to a railing to break my fall. To the delight of my fellow inebriated brothers I landed on my feet and they cheered for an encore.

Couldn’t we decide at any time to stop our fall and land on our feet?

Just because we usually wise up after a great deal of struggle and adversity, we aren’t obligated to only learn so dramatically. The trouble with hitting bottom is it’s a long and painful way down. We really don’t have to fall that far to decide that it’s time to change course.

Invite the big lesson.

Most likely our next big lesson has been swimming in and out of our awareness for some time now. We can choose to invite it to surface and then pay attention. Here’s how to consciously look for your big lesson and put it on your plate. Answer these questions.

If I had a big lesson to learn right now, what might it be?

What have others in the same boat learned that could be useful to me?

In which area of my life is my current course simply not working well?

What are five new and different approaches I could try to turn things around?

Big life lessons are there because we have put them there. Some part of us attracts challenging situations so we can realize the life-changing big lesson and move on. But we aren’t obligated to repeat third grade three times to learn our lessons. I think we can even skip a grade by becoming more conscious of our big lessons as they first come into view. Why not grab the bull by the horns the first time it pokes you?

What do you think?

What do you think about hitting bottom and big life lessons?