Ready Or Not – Here I Come

They call me intense.

I think that’s because I go deep and speak up, whether that’s comfortable for you or not.

Admittedly I’m a handful, especially if you think you aren’t ready to face the real stuff. One coaching client described working with me like diving into a cold lake. Our work together can be both invigorating and chilling, in all the right ways.

I like the way I am and I like others who can accept me as I am. Since I like me so much, I’m able to accept and champion you.

If you blow smoke or make flattering, inauthentic comments I’ll call you on it.

Being appropriate is the death of individuality.

I’d rather you express your wild, untamed self and join me in pissing all over cultural appropriateness.

If you want to play the game of appropriateness go work for the State Department or lose yourself in a big corporation.

But if you want to be real and make some money from your realness, you want a coach like me who will tell it like it is.

I like getting down and dirty into the messes of life. I thrive in relationship messes because that’s where all the growth comes from. Everything is a relationship.

It’s my way, to challenge you, with a smile on my face.

I love the way I am and I love the way you are, however you are.

I love how you are, as long as you are the real you. If you don’t know what that means – you’re faking it.

I love how you push my buttons because the resulting understanding is life’s greatest gift.

Happy Valentines Day my friend, May you be deeply loved and appreciated for who you truly are.

Top Five Realizations about the Powerful Force of Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools in the universe, but it requires engagement to reap its full rewards. Astound yourself by jotting down on a card just ten things you’re grateful for – using the guidance below. Carry that card with you and refer to it often for maximum results.

  1. What we focus on expands. Gratitude is a very powerful focusing tool because it both focuses and insures that the object of our focus is something we want more of. When we are grateful, our thoughts simply cannot be on something that we don’t want. Our job, as conscious creators, is to think about what we want. Our fate, as unaware creators, is to stay stuck by continuing to worry about what we don’t want. Write down the top two relationships with whom you enjoy the most trust. (You could really make their day by forwarding this link to them and announcing them as the relationship you value the most.)
  2. Gratitude turns on our natural well-being. Health, wealth and all thingsWoman in Fieldgood are our natural sates of being. There is a mind-body connection that positively affects our health and well-being and it comes directly through gratitude. Gratitude serves as a switch to energize dreams and desires. When it’s on and the juice is flowing freely, our vision improves so that we can see what’s possible. Write down the top two states of health, or body parts, that you are most appreciative of.

  3. Gratitude enhances our clarity. Gratitude instantly prioritizes our options so that we can focus on what makes us feel good. The fastest way out of overwhelm is to focus on what brings you alive. Invest your energy and attention there. Confusion is a state brought on by a lack of gratitude. If you want your life to make more sense, begin with a list of what you’re grateful for. Opportunities flow from clarity. Write down the top two opportunities that make you feel most alive when working on them.
  4. Gratitude strengthens our connection to Life Force Energy (the Source of all things good), to our powerful core selves and to one another. Gratitude is a remarkably inclusive energy. Since all problems result from exclusion, this is a huge realization. Within this connection, our strongest, highest self is encouraged to come out and sing. So thank you my friends for every kind thought and deed past, present and future. Thank you from the depths of my heart and THANK YOU GOD! Write down your top two blessings, strengths or natural talents.
  5. Gratitude allows us to unconditionally accept and celebrate ourselves. The lack of self-acceptance, self-love and self-confidence are primarily what holds us back from being magnificent. Self-appreciation, or inwardly focused gratitude, both strengthens our natural talents and celebrates our growth. We really do need to remember and recognize how wonderful we are. If there is one trait that most of us share, it’s that we are too hard on ourselves. Forget humble and forget selfless; they simply don’t work well. Instead, give yourself regular doses of self-appreciation. The fastest route to being generous and brave for others is to first strengthen oneself. Validate yourself and remember to celebrate small victories. Cease waiting for worldly recognition; it may be too long in coming, and not as powerful as your own gentle acknowledgment. Acknowledge yourself by writing down your top two achievements or learning realizations from the past year.

Gratitude, like love, multiplies only in the expression of it. So if you thirst for it, be the source of it. We all reach the point of facing challenging times. We cry out for understanding and cooperation. We seek the answer to our woes; yet the most powerful answer lies in our acknowledgment of who and what we appreciate.Focus on who and whatever brings light or value into your life. Gratitude is the gift that lifts, for both giver and receiver. Gratitude warms the heart of God because it acknowledges creation at its natural best.

Carry the card with you throughout this Thanksgiving season and really allow the appreciative juices to flow. Buddy up with a friend who wants to join you using this exercise and plan to talk the weekend after Thanksgiving to celebrate the bounty.

Imagine how you’ll feel enjoying tenfold the blessing you now have.

Thank you for being you.

A Sure Way Out of the Darkest Times

When times are tough we almost always look outside to take some action. Yet it’s often an inner adjustment that’s needed first.

Let’s take a look at what’s happening within, when times are tough.

Have you ever faced circumstances, such as growing debt, demanding creditors, major life disappointments or conflicts that are so big it’s hard to see anything else? Yet that’s what we need to do. We need to look at anything other than that big scary reality that’s blocking our vision.

What we focus on expands. What we give our attention to we get more of. What we look at, whether it is pleasing or upsetting, becomes our focus point of expansion. Even what we resist persists because we are giving it our attention.

Worry, complaint, blame and doubt are powerful forces of resistance that tend to keep us stuck within the very situations we wish to be free of. Yet there is always a way out and it always comes from within first.

Here’s the most effective inner adjustments I can offer. I found it in Eckhart Tolle’s excellent book, The Power of Now.

In all situations, you only have four choices, and the first one is not a positively productive one.

  1. You can resist, complain or deny, and remain stuck within the situation.
  2. You can remove yourself from the situation.
  3. You can work with others to change it.
  4. You can accept it.

That’s it. There are no other choices.Many times when coaching a client out of very stressful circumstances, they refuse to select options 2, 3, or 4. That means that by default they have chosen to remain in a prison of their own making. Because if we choose not to accept, change or remove ourselves from a situation we are stuck solidly within resistance.

Why blame is resistance.

No matter who’s at fault, you are responsible.Blaming others is a barrier between you and your effectiveness. When we are blaming, we are not looking at our own contribution to the situation. When we are blaming, we have, in effect, become victims – powerless to improve the situation until someone else changes first. Here’s a core truth worth adopting. If you are aware of a problem, it’s at least partially yours to correct. If it’s happening to you, no matter who appears to be at fault, you are at least partially responsible (for the advanced class, try this on: holding yourself as 100% responsible gives you 100% power in the situation). Instead of finger-pointing and whining when you see a problem, always ask these questions:

  • What can I do?
  • What else can I do?
  • What else?

Write down your answers, discuss them, make a decision and take some action. And please don’t think that acceptance is a weak decision. It’s often the strongest.

Acceptance is not agreement. It is simply your recognition that for now, you just won’t fight it. There are no other choices. Opportunity comes directly from clarity of decision and action. By deciding which of the three positive choices you are making, you increase the likelihood of greater opportunity – because you have lessened resistance.

Then you can apply a relief formula that always works:

Gratitude + Less Resistance = Increased Opportunity

Recognizing and appreciating one’s blessings gives you greater strength. What you’re grateful for may be relationships, internal talents and abilities or external positive conditions. By simply focusing on a sunny day, health or any part of your life experience that feels good, you’ll begin to turn the tides in your favor.

Remember – whatever we focus on we get more of.

In all things, you have a choice as to how you’ll respond. You can resist by hoping that another person or condition will change or you can choose to work the formula on your own behalf.