Making a Fresh Start

making a fresh startAn important part of your life or business is crying out for a fresh new start. There’s something magically freeing about wiping the slate clean and beginning new again – but we often waste that magic by stopping short of completion.

Some question their inherent capabilities after repeatedly failing to produce a desired result. Yet life coaching has taught me that there is nothing wrong with you, your capabilities or with starting over. What’s usually lacking is the faulty process that you’ve used. After this five-minute read you’ll know an effective process for making a fresh new start and successfully completing.

A fresh start comes ready made with fresh hope that this time things will turn out better and they will, if you’ll use this process that focuses your fresh start energy for maximum advantage.

You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down. Mary Pickford

Many folks attempt geographical fresh starts.  Others get excited with the newness of a fresh relationship.  Some get their kicks from cracking open a crisp new book.  At least half of us have started diets and exercise programs dozens of times. With every fresh start we blindly hope that this time will be different. By why should it? Making a fresh start alone doesn’t guarantee different results.

But increased awareness while working a different process will produce different results. The necessary ingredients are awareness, commitment, action, frequency, redemption and completion.  Answer the question(s) next to the ingredient to work this process.

1) Awareness. What part of my life would most benefit from a totally fresh start? What realizations have I come to from my previous attempts in this area? If I’ve truly learned these lessons, then what do I intend to do differently this time?

2) Commitment. Why is the decision to commit to this change the most important commitment I’m making this month? (If it’s not important enough to drive eager involvement for at least a month, then you may want to choose again.) Looking forward 30 days, how will I feel having successfully followed through to completion? Write out a celebratory script in full five-sense detail. If you aren’t really fired up on day one, it likely doesn’t have enough energy to sustain your focus.

3) Action. What are three small steps I can take in the next three days to jump start my momentum? Take them one-a-day over the next three days.

4) Frequency. That leaves 27 days, looking at where I want to be on day 30 and back planning, what are 14 possible actions I could take? Take one of these actions every other day. You can change the specific actions once you get going. But if you begin with a pool of actions to choose from you will have increased your probability of success significantly. Frequency is often the missing ingredient in a faulty process.

5) Redemption. We cannot go back in time but we can stop the energy drain of past mistakes by arriving at a place of higher self-regard. Redemption, in this case, is the act of fulfilling a pledge to ourselves that we’ve failed to fulfill previously. By making amends we repair our own self-esteem and prove that we are competent to life. What specific end result would be self-redeeming and make me very proud?

6) Completion. Here’s where you claim the prize (benefit of your main completion) for following through. Imagining this prize is what created the desire for a fresh new start in the beginning. Make sure that this prize is meaningful and valuable to you. What prize will enthusiastically hold my focus for 30 days?

There are no limits to the number of times you can start fresh. You can completely start anew over and over again. Inspiration doesn’t deplete itself. It’s a naturally renewing resource.

Come alive to your greater glory – commit to starting over today.
You can do it and you’ll be glad you did.

How to Start Over In a New Career

Start over in a new career possibilitiesWhat if starting over in new career was far easier than you think it is?  If you’re dying from the inside trying to live in a toxic work environment – rejoice!  That dissatisfaction is your life trying to get you to see that you can make a move and start over.

That’s the purpose of contrast. Without those deadening work experiences you might remain blind and deaf to even the possibility of making a fresh new start over.

The first step is to be grateful for that feeling that you’ve got to get out.  Honor the urge to escape the corporate politics and unexplainable management decisions.  Just look yourself in the mirror and say thank you.

Thank you for presenting enough pain in my life to urge me to make my move.

Then you must being to tell yourself a story of hope, gratitude and possibility instead of a prison-locking story of despair. Statements like those that follow only keep you locked into one possibility.

I’m stuck because I’ll never make as much money on my own.  I hate my job but I don’t know what to do about it.  It’s a tough economy I’d be crazy to leave now.  I can’t start my own business because I don’t know where to start.

You must let go of all of those limiting one-way conclusions or that’s the only options you’ll see.

Instead declare and acknowledge out loud, that you are at choice to start over in a new career.

The swiftest change comes from asking the most positively powerful questions like this one.

Thank you for helping me to see that I have choices, what are all the possibilities?

Right there is your key on how to start over in a new career because it combines gratitude, choice and possibility.

Most who remain hoping but never act do not allow themselves to dare ask, what else is possible?

Did you notice that I did not talk about the specific new career you might start over in? That’s because the possibilities only can surface after gratitude is expressed and choice is acknowledged.

One more important tip – do not try to answer a possibility question with your conscious mind.  Just ask it and live with the question unanswered for a while. That way the Universe can go to work by helping you to see all the possibilities.

If you allow your mind to answer the following question, it can only respond by giving you options that you already know.

Thank you for helping me to see that  am at choice, what are all the possibilities?

So here is your action step. Right now ask this question 10 times in a row and then comment on how you feel about your possibilities.

Thank you for helping me to see that I have many choices, what are all the possibilities?

If you are ready to make your move even faster contact me now to discuss the possibilities.

Starting Over With Honor

Starting over no matter how far you’ve fallen, is more surely accomplished with self-honor.

Self-honor begins with telling the truth to yourself about what’s really happening in your life.

Self-honor is making the decision you are most afraid to make.

Self-honor is asking for help when you know another perspective would illuminate possibilities.

Self-honor is taking the time to understand what you really, really want so you can declare that you want it.

Self-honor is understanding why you want something and having the courage to go for it.

Most of all self-honor is doing what you can do now to act on what you really want.

Without action you are just talk.  Action clarifies.  Without clarity of direction and path, it’s difficult to hold yourself in the high regard of self-honor.

You know where you have been running, hiding and avoiding your truth.  Honor your own truth today and watch your life transform.

Stop The Madness

Get To The Heart of the Matter

All madness stems from too much head and too little heart.

I’m not talking about certifiable insanity but the regular, daily madness that drives us crazy.

The way out of any challenge is to find a point of hopeful willingness. That’s the point where you can clearly see a next step action and you feel inspired to take it.

That point doesn’t come from over-thinking. It doesn’t come from asking why. And it seldom comes from searching for a better how to. Those are all head games and head games are complex.

Instead you must get to the heart of the matter in two different ways.

1). The first way is to go deep, connect with your heartfelt desires and come from within out.

Ask yourself.

Deep in my heart what do I care about the most here? If I put my dear self first in an extraordinary demonstration of self-love what might I do? What do I really want?

If you are looking too much at outside conditions and circumstances you’re looking in the wrong place.

2). The second way to get to the heart of the matter is, to boil it down to its essence.

Brevity creates clarity and clarity empowers. Boiling it down best occurs with persistent, audacious inquiry. Ask yourself.

What’s really going on here? What else? If I could answer the question that would save my ass, what would that question be?

Stay with the inquiry until you hit upon a startling truth that smells very clean and fresh.

Combine that truth/action in service of what you really want and the madness will stop.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been down or what’s going on around you. What matters is in your heart. What matters is getting to core, boiled down clarity and acting now.

There is no limit to the number of fresh starts you can make.
Audacious inquiry will save you every time.

Time to Walk Away?

One of the most challenging aspects of career transitioning from work that feels like work, to work that you love, is temporarily letting go of the money. It’s just as challenging, when you’re already self-employed and transitioning from an established income stream to one that’s more delightful but temporarily less lucrative.

Even long-time proponents of authentic work can go for the easy money in moments of temporary insanity. I’ve clearly known my core values since 1998 yet just 18 months ago I lost my mind and made a decision unaligned with my values to pick some low hanging fruit. It paid well for a while and I told myself that I’d just work it a few hours a week until I built up a financial reserve. But a funny thing happened, even though financially, my overall situation improved, I began to resent the source of this windfall. I wrestled with myself for months and could not come to a satisfactory decision. So as it often does, life provided a decision for me. I had many less-costly opportunities to let go but I did it the hard way because the fear of letting go was greater than the unknown good on the horizon.

I’m writing about this now because of a comment on my last post on Honoring Commitments from fellow self-employed blogger Cath Lawson. Be sure to visit her blog, for some bold and wise business advice.

Here are the relevant parts of Cath’s comment.
Hi Tom, I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. One of the main reasons I struggle to honour my commitments sometimes, is that I’ll let one horrid task overwhelm me to the point I won’t look at my to do list. It’s something I’m really struggling with. I think I really need to work on getting over the horrid task thing. Most of the ones I dread are connected to a past business. And I think it’s the connections I have the problem with, as opposed to the actual task.

Did you grasp the meaning in her comment? It’s not the tasks that Cath dreads doing but the emotional connections to those tasks. Often when we make a career transition there is residual fallout. There’s stuff we think we need to hang onto and cleanup because it appears to make good business and financial sense. But we all know that appearances can be tricky.

I’m not sure if this is the case in Cath’s situation because I haven’t coached her on it but it certainly was the case in mine. Sometimes it’s better to walk away and forget trying to get over something. Sometimes a clean break is the soundest financial decision.

Once my unaligned decision began to feel like an obligation I should have eaten my losses and made a clean break. That’s what my inner guidance was telling me but I was holding on only for the money and that’s a decision that’s doomed to failure. This once lucrative cash stream became what Thomas Leonard called a toleration.

When you put up with something, it costs you; unnecessary costs are unattractive. Let’s define tolerations as things that bug us, sap our energy and could be eliminated! Tolerations drain you. They make you feel less attractive to yourself. Thomas Leonard

In his excellent book, The Portable Coach: 28 Sure Fire Strategies For Business And Personal Success, Leonard goes on to explain that we unknowingly install tolerations to slow down our personal growth because when we slow down, we are less frightened. However putting up with anything that we could do something about is damaging to our emotional and spiritual well-being. Often we are turning our back on our own inner guidance because we don’t feel ready to make a clean break from a less than authentic past. Yet every time we ignore our own inner guidance it’s like poking a hole in our soul.

How perforated is your soul these days?

What are you putting up with that you could let go of?

Where have you ignored repeated opportunities to make a clean break?

Are you holding on somewhere, just for the money?

If you are, you may want to ask yourself. “What’s the total cost of this ongoing emotional wrestling match? Might the actual cost of walking away now be less?”

How To Start Over

Starting Over Do you know how to start over so it takes this time? An important part of your life or business is crying out for a fresh new start. There’s something magically freeing about wiping the slate clean and beginning new again – but we often waste that magic by stopping short of completion.

Some question their inherent capabilities after repeatedly failing to produce a desired result. Yet life coaching has taught me that there is nothing wrong with you, your capabilities or with starting over. What’s usually lacking is the faulty process that you’ve used. After this five-minute read you’ll know an effective process for starting over and successfully completing.

A fresh start comes ready made with fresh hope that this time things will turn out better and they will, if you’ll use this process that focuses your fresh start energy for maximum advantage.

Many folks attempt geographical fresh starts. Others get excited with the newness of a fresh relationship. Some get their kicks from cracking open a crisp new book. At least half of us have started diets and exercise programs dozens of times. With every fresh start we blindly hope that this time will be different. By why should it? A fresh start alone doesn’t guarantee different results.

Increased awareness while working this how to start over process will produce different results. The necessary ingredients are awareness, commitment, action, frequency, redemption and completion. Answer the question(s) next to the ingredient to work this process.

1) Awareness. What part of my life would most benefit from a totally fresh start? What realizations have I come to from my previous attempts in this area? If I’ve truly learned these lessons, then what do I intend to do differently this time?
2) Commitment. Why is the decision to commit to this change the most important commitment I’m making this month? (If it’s not important enough to drive eager involvement for at least a month, then you may want to choose again.) Looking forward 30 days, how will I feel having successfully followed through to completion? Write out a celebratory script in full five-sense detail. If you aren’t really fired up on day one, it likely doesn’t have enough energy to sustain your focus.
3) Action. What are three small steps I can take in the next three days to jumpstart my momentum? Take them one-a-day over the next three days.
4) Frequency. That leaves 27 days, looking at where I want to be on day 30 and back planning, what are 14 possible actions I could take? Take one of these actions every other day. You can change the specific actions once you get going. But if you begin with a pool of actions to choose from you will have increased your probability of success significantly. Frequency is often the missing ingredient in a faulty process.
5) Redemption. We cannot go back in time but we can stop the energy drain of past mistakes by arriving at a place of higher self-regard. Redemption, in this case, is the act of fulfilling a pledge to ourselves that we’ve failed to fulfill previously. By making amends we repair our own self-esteem and prove that we are competent to life. What specific end result would be self-redeeming and make me very proud?
6) Completion. Here’s where you claim the prize (benefit of your main completion) for following through. Imagining this prize is what created the desire for a fresh new start in the beginning. Make sure that this prize is meaningful and valuable to you. What prize will enthusiastically hold my focus for 30 days?

Now that you know how to start over are you going to seize this opportunity? There are no limits to the number of times you can start fresh. You can completely start anew over and over again. Inspiration doesn’t deplete itself. It’s a naturally renewing resource.

Come alive to your greater glory – commit to starting over today.
You can do it and you’ll be glad you did.

Contact you starting over life coach to make a strong start today.

Screw-ups, Fresh Starts & Comebacks

Have you ever screwed up and not followed through on a self-pledge? We all have, many times, and we are likely to continue, right? If that’s so, consider this. Wouldn’t it be a better strategy to give up on perfection and simply allow the screw-ups to occur? If we could do that without being so hard on ourselves, we’d be more fulfilled, waste less time and be far more productive.

Trust builds when agreements are honored. Thus it’s our self-trust that takes the biggest hit when we don’t follow-through as promised. So we need to trust ourselves once more to comeback from this temporary breach of reliability.

When we screw-up we can either change what occurred so that we don’t make the same mistake again or we can change how we feel about making mistakes. I find the latter to be just as effective and far easier to pull off.

Please get this. It’s not the mistake that derails you. It’s how you feel about letting yourself down. Since you admit that you are too hard on yourself, what might happen if you simply cut yourself some slack?

I’d like to introduce you to a couple of words and their definitions that you may have forgotten.

Forgive – to cease to feel resentment about.

Absolve – to free from guilt or blame or their consequences.

Have you forgotten that you have the power to self-forgive and to self-absolve? It’s often a necessary step before we can get ourselves back on track. I really want you to know a few things.

There is no limit to the number of fresh starts you can make. You can always begin again. As a coach, I often ask clients to give themselves permission to forget about past misses and begin anew. Absolve yourself. Let it go. Recognize the futility of holding onto the mistake and its accompanying guilt. Start over. Take a Mulligan.

If you take yourself too seriously, lighten up and praise your good. Most of us tend to overplay our misses and under-recognize our hits. You do a lot of things right, don’t you? Who sees those? Whose job is it to make sure they get duly noted and celebrated? Perhaps if you spent more time recognizing your progress and all the things you do well, you would no longer need to be so self-judgmental.

Know that making a mistake is not an indication that anything is wrong with you or fundamentally lacking in your makeup.
As kids, many of us had adults place the “what’s wrong with you?” curse on us. Know and act on the basis that nothing is wrong with you. You are a child of God who occasionally misses the mark. So what, who doesn’t?

Sometimes when you disappoint and do not follow through, it means nothing. It could mean that you just screwed up. Perhaps in your enthusiasm you simply over-promised. Perhaps other priorities and/or opportunities entered the picture.

Mistakes are simply attempts that missed the mark. Lighten up. Start over. Forgive yourself. Let go of the misstep. Shrug it off. Release those guilty thoughts.

Mistakes are inevitable and without them we would have no feedback for course corrections and adjustments. If you’ve made a mistake, it’s already in your past. It’s behind you, so allow it to remain there.

You can come back from anything. Clear the air. Forgive yourself. Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself a break. Love yourself. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Begin anew. Life wants you to win.