They can see that these things aren’t working well so they reason, that if they understood their motivation, then they would cease repeating the wayward behavior.
Yet knowing why you persist in a behavior that’s not good for you won’t necessarily stop you from doing it.
I’ve coached lots of folks who did manage to understand that why and they still kept right on digging. They saw the real reason but didn’t accept it as the truth that it was.
Often things look too simple to be true. But they are.
So when faced with a recurring challenge it’s often fruitless to understand why. Why? Why is it fruitless?
Because the quest isn’t worth the prize. It often costs too much in expended energy for it to be worthwhile.
Often the quest for why will lead to a whole series of downward spiraling questions. Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? Why?
The quest for why often turns your attention and energy to more of what you don’t want.
The way to get what you want is to turn your attention and energy on what you want. Light that up!
So the next time you’re tempted to ask why, instead ask; what do I really want? Then ask, what would be likely to get me what I want? What could I do now to move just a little closer to what I want?
Then do that thing. You’ll be happier and much more productive.