Creating Clarity

clarity Clarity is clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding. It is freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity.

Do you more often look for clarity or create it?

I’ve been pondering the creation of clarity. Most folks look for clarity like it’s something to be found. Discovering clarity happens but not as often as you’d think.

It’s far easier to decide to create clarity.

How do you come to your clarity? I find clarity is best approached with openness, calmness and a determination to create it.

A comprehensive process works best especially in matters of career change clarity. When there are many factors to consider that fog our clarity we must work a process that cuts through fog like a torch of sunshine.

Clarity is best created through a process of questioning, dialogue, decision and action. Every progressive step leans toward clarity and further away from confusion or complexity.

But there is one essential ingredient that must be put into the mix early and often.

Truth. If you really want clarity, you must decide to tell the whole truth to yourself about yourself. That’s the truth as you see it, without regard for the opinion of others.

To create clarity you must take a stand for your truth and your truth is likely to be unpopular. Its unpopularity is what makes it individual and thus valuable to you.

But without deep truth, as only you know it, you’re just spinning you wheels.

Here’s the secret. Be especially aware as a truth-teller, just before and during periods of important decision making.

Use this time to note your decision – to comprehend and appreciate the raw truth of it.

When we make a decision and then decide to make up some justification, explanation or fabrication after the fact, we don’t get the benefit of endorsing own authentic choices.

Singular and courageous endorsement of your own wisdom is what creates clarity and confidence.

Here’s a powerful opportunity to practice your truth telling.   Decide to tell the truth when you decline every invitation, be it business or social.

Just saying no thank you can be enough.  But just in case you’re asked, be ready and willing to share your whole unvarnished truth, even if you know that it will not be welcome.

It will be one of the cleanest and most liberating practices of your life.

What someone doesn’t want to hear, can be delivered respectfully and gracefully.  But a sincere, blunt and clumsy truth is far better than any eloquently crafted lie.

Life is given, and not one other human being on the planet was given to live the life you’ve been given to live.  The given self lets you quit trying to live another life, which is what the quest for the ideal life is, and lets you begin to live your own.  Mari Perron

I’ve found that my given, most authentic self can’t get clear in the presence of white lies.  I’ve found that in order for my given self to flourish in resolute clarity, I must first take a stand for what I want, even when it disappoints another.

True freedom is found in the loving acceptance of self and in the glory of expressing as no one else can.

Too Good & Challenging To Miss

Readers of this blog know that I love wake up calls and fresh smacks in the face.  I’m convinced that the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to tell the whole truth to ourselves about ourselves. Great idea!

Realizations are essential to creating the life you want to live.  Never stand pat.   Choose powerful stimulating experiences.  Coaching is really an experience in insight stimulation and engagement.

Fresh realizations come charged with the energy to create.  That’s why it’s so important to seize your moment of discovery with bold action.

So here’s some truth jarring stuff I’ve come across lately for your reading and listening delight.

Bill Weil has made his powerful relationship book, New Earth Relationships, available on audio down load.  It’s so good I use it as a tool with my relationship-coaching clients.

In the Crappiness of Happiness Egbert Sukop will piss you off, shake you up and give you a major case of head scratching.  I love what he says about the “bitch lag”.

In Are Your Dreams Big Enough, Slade Roberson asks some wonderfully challenging questions.  Answer them – you could change your life.

What are you reading or listening too that rocks your world?

How To Extract Your Waiting Wisdom

You are smarter, more capable and far better off than you think you are, but only when you decide to connect to your deep well of waiting wisdom within. istock_000003366515xsmall

Your greatest wisdom exists deep within because as you age layer upon layer of false assumptions, comparisons, judgments and the opinions of others are piled on top of it. For an exploration of this nature you need the proper excavation tools to dig past all of that outside junk.

Yet your beautiful, powerful mind is so protective of past conclusions that you have to resort to trickery so that your conscious mind can step back and allow your inner wisdom to emerge.

The key to authentic business building is to operate more and more consciously and less and less mechanically.

When we look to others to supply our wisdom we are often in misalignment with our own original potential.  By going deep and extracting your own wisdom you automatically have increased the probability of success.

My greatest service as a life coach, coaching new business owners is selecting the right tools to guide the inner journey so that my clients can find and express their authentic selves.

The right tool will facilitate high performance by raising self-understanding, self-esteem and personal effectiveness. This allows us to access wisdom and other resources that normally remain hidden from our consciousness. Without digging deep this wisdom does not normally show up in our behavior.

One of the most powerful tools I use in this work is sentence stem completion.  I first read about it in Nathaniel Branden’s book The Six Pillars of Self Esteem.  Sentence stem completion is most effective as a tool to facilitate understanding, liberate self-expression and activate self-healing.

Sentence stem completion rests on he premise that all of us have more knowledge than we are normally aware of – more wisdom than we use, more potentials than typically show up in our behavior. Sentence completion is a tool for accessing and activating these “hidden resources.”  When we intensify awareness, we tend to generate a need for action that expresses our changed psychological state.  Nathaniel Branden

Sentence Stem Completion Instructions

1). Begin with an uncompleted sentence stem in the area of your exploration. Here are some possibilities that have served my clients well.

If I really wanted to achieve this goal  …
When I apply 10% more consciousness to my activities …
If I truly wanted to create my own unique product I’d …
My most powerfully productive business decision this quarter would be to …

2). Repeat the stem each time out loud and then jot down the completion. Some feel more comfortable working with a tape recorder and then going back and transcribing. It’s the speed and lack of self-judgment that lowers repressive barriers and allows the wisdom to emerge. This is a rapid-fire exercise — do not sit and stew over answers. Just say the stem and complete the sentence as rapidly as possible. No pauses, the game is to answer quickly one after another. Don’t worry about the validity of what you’re coming up with while you’re doing it. Just complete each sentence and then again.

3). For each sentence stem keep adding completions as fast as possible. Work with the same stems for seven days in a row. No pauses to think in between. Just write. Each stem must be a complete sentence. Stems may be repeated on different days but on any one day, all stems need to be different. Complete at least six endings for each stem, each day.

4). At the end of the week reflect on what you’ve written. Allow yourself to be surprised about what you’ve written.  At the end of seven days look at all of your completions and select the top three you are willing to act on. This wisdom may need further refinement but it will beat the root of your most optimum and effective actions.

Here’s the good news.  The wisdom you seek is seeking you.  Your internal guidance has been trying to get your attention to shine a light on your optimum path.  You willingness to go deep and bring it forth will definitely accelerate the process.

Wisdom serves as widening of perception and somehow allows us to see situations and intentions in a new light.

This new light expands possibilities so we don’t jump to limiting conclusions based on past experience.  Instead we are emboldened to create our very own brave new world.