Regular readers of this blog know that I compare employment to slavery. Think that’s too harsh?
Look at this dictionary definition for slavery “…the state of being under the control of another person.” Or look at these synonyms for slavery: drudgery, constraint and subjections, or these antonyms: emancipation, freedom and liberty. If the shoe fits…
I’m not writing this for the few of you who truly love your jobs. And, while I encourage your comments, I’m not writing this for my fellow coaches and bloggers who have already seized their freedom.
I’m writing this for those of you who have yet to make the leap.
(Image by brosha on Flickr, via Creative Commons license)
What’s stops you from going for your work life freedom and fulfillment? Do you know?
What story do you tell yourself about this?
I’ve recently had the privilege of reading the responses of 110 work life freedom surveys.
One survey question asked this.
What is the number one thing stopping you from creating more freedom in your work life?
Here are the top five responses:
5). Procrastination
4). Lack of self-confidence
3). Not being clear on the livelihood I want
2). Fear of failure
1). Money
The number one thing stopping these wonderful, sincere people from going for their work life freedom is a perceived lack of money or concern regarding obligations that require money.
I understand and I can feel your fear. Money is so highly valued in our society that the lack of it can lead to intense self-judgment. Yet I can’t let you continue to hide behind the excuse of not having enough money. We use the lack of money as a reason to keep us from doing and not doing all kinds of things. But that’s not it – and I can prove it to you. Quit reading now and get a piece of paper and a pencil.
In the next five minutes, as quickly as you can, write down all the things you can’t do because you can’t afford it. Just complete this sentence as fast as you can.
I can’t afford to….
(Don’t read on until you’ve taken at least 30 seconds to try this exercise.)
Okay, now go back over your list and read it out loud, but replace “I can’t afford to” with “I don’t want to.”
Can you now see how you have given so much power to money? That’s right, it’s not the money. What if you could accept this as the absolute truth for everything on your list? How would that change what you think you can and cannot do? When we examine how much we really want something, we invite all kinds of fresh insights. It truly does come down to the degree of our desire.
Perhaps you’ll find that you really don’t want your work life freedom that badly. Perhaps you want to continue being safely miserable in your job. If that’s the case, then at least come to acceptance with your choice. Truth be told, some would have to admit that they enjoy the twisted payoff that comes from being a complaining victim.
What about those of you who truly do want your work life freedom?
Are you willing to go deep within your self-exploration to do the work to find it? Are you willing to commit to the active pursuit of your work life freedom?
What remains when you remove money as the reason why you haven’t made the leap?
Is there really anything stopping you now? I’ve dedicated my life to this work. This is the coaching that I do. There is a way that works and I want to guide you there. How can I help you? What would you have me write about?
For my fellow bloggers, coaches and self-employed professionals, what can you share about that time just before you made the leap? How can you encourage these folks to go for it?
Most people get themselves into debt and become trapped. Many people set a goal of saving $1M then living off the interest of say $50K per year. But the lack of high salary, and bad spending habits will prevent that from happening anytime soon.
Some people are pressured by spouses to keep making money – so other people’s fears become imposed on others.
But realistically many passions don’t bring in the money at least not at first, like blogging or other websites.
Hi Tom
I’ve just recently found your blog (via your comments on Andrea Hess’ site), and I’m really enjoying it so far, especially since, once upon a time, I used to work in academia in the area of work/life balance (amongst others in the field of career psychology) :). You have a great way of expressing concepts and encouraging others to live a life that they love as much as you clearly love yours.
I’ve now made the leap twice in my life – once from academia to my own business, and recently from that to doing my own thing in the blogging arena. I’ve definitely been scared both times (even though the second time was a bit easier, given that I did end up being successful the first time). And both times I’ve had to confront the money issue (oh boy, have I confronted it!), but I’ve taken the leap anyway. Why? Because what scares me more than not having money is ending up unhappy and bitter. I’m absolutely committed to enjoying the work that I do and loving my life, and that gives me the courage to leap. The net always appears!
Tom,
Six years ago, I was working full-time as a systems analyst/programmer. I was in a management position but not being paid as a manager because I lacked the specific degree they required for the position. Didn’t seem to count that I was doing the job and doing the job well. So, I was also in college full-time pursuing that degree. Disgusted with the rat race, I also started a network marketing business with the idea that one day it would take me out of Corporate America and allow me to work from home, which as a single mom of 3, I really wanted to do! Needless to say, I was busy!
Then, Friday, December 6, 2002 my worst fear (aside from attending one of my children’s funerals) materialized: I lost my job. The company I had worked served for 10 years went bankrupt.
I realized that day that the only “security” I had, job, financial or otherwise was the security I had within myself. So, I elected not to look for a job, but instead I started a web design business, while continuing to grow my network marketing business. I figured if I was going to be out an income, I’d rather have myself to blame than someone else. I was scared, but I stepped out in faith and there was, miraculously, something under my foot each time.
Then two years ago, my house burned down and I took that opportunity to recreate my life while I rebuilt my house, once again stepping out into the unknown, but this time, a little more ‘on purpose’ than before: I started my coaching practice.
I now have 3 distinctly separate businesses that I love (oh, and I also substitute teach in the public school system), but they all are in alignment with my personal mission statement, which is:
“To use my experience, strength and hope to support and inspire others to live a life authentically their own, realize their potential, and leave their mark on this world in a way that is meaningful to them.”
Everything I do relates back to my mission statement clearly and directly, and as a result, I LOVE MY LIFE! This is SO MUCH BETTER than that so-called “secure” life I had working a job.
So while I may not have taken a leap of faith and left my job on my own, neither did I run back to the supposed security of a job, either. Now that I have both ways of living to compare, I totally agree with you on the job = slavery point.
It really is true folks: once you set your intention and commit, the Universe rallies to make the way for you. You still have to take the steps, but you don’t have to have the whole path mapped out before you to take that first step in faith. Get ok with the idea of making mistakes (you do, anyway!) and keep your eyes peeled for the opportunities that present themselves, and most of all – have faith in yourself. You CAN create the life of your dreams, no matter where you’re starting from! You really can.
Great article, Tom!
I think a lot of people get stuck in either/or thinking, which is not in alignment with abundance! Either I stay in my corporate “slavery” OR I start my own business.
Well, I think that at least for a while, we have to do both! Yes, that means less time in front of the TV, or even less time with the (hopefully supportive) family. There is a transition that is necessary. We have to try on our new business, see whether we actually enjoy the work, and feel our way into it.
Success begets success. In the beginning, it’s not about creating the perfect brand, finding the ultimate niche, or coming up with a comprehensive marketing strategy. It’s just about perhaps launching a serviceable website, and ONE client. A business has to start with one client or customer – not fifty!
I’ve transitioned a few times – into massage therapy, and into my Intuitive Consulting business. Leaps of faith get easier the more often we take them. It’s a leap of faith to create a website and just get one client. Why not start there?
Blessings,
Andrea
Inspiring words, great blog. Thanks for taking the time to present this. I am a strong believer in the power of intention to create your reality, you are where you are because of the decisions you make. I’ll be reading more here in the future…..thanks again…
I think that the number one reason people don’t pursue their freedom or their dreams isn’t money, it’s fear. Everybody is scared to fail, and so much of people’s identity is now caught up in work. Wrk and leisure blend together now so work becomes who we are and changing that is a terrifying prospect for people. They want a guarantee, and the first thing to accept is that there are no guarantees. I fact, the job they have now isn’t guaranteed. I can’t speak for the USA, but absolute job security is a thing of the past in Australia. You can tell yourself what you’ve got now is safe, but that’s not necessarily true.
That said, self employment has cons as well as pros and isn’t for everyone. I think one has to be very honest about whether it’s for them, or just a pipe dream.
I also agree with Andrea, changing careers by a gentle transition is the best way and think small baby steps. I’ve changed careers from a marketing and advertising executive to an ESL teacher (halved my pay so a HUGE decision) and then to self employed copy writer. Now I’m trying to change again to freelance writer/editor/novelist.
Change gets easier. The first time is always the hardest, but a risk-taking life is the most exciting one there is, IMO.
Kelly
@Mags welcome to Delightful Work and thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story. I also have had the choice of the known, secure, income or my freedom and even though I chose freedom it was not easy. I’m glad that you hold your happiness high on your values scale. The world is a better place because of it.
@Will welcome what you say is true. Sometimes the fear of life partners will hold us back. My decision not to return to a more known and stable income stream after a business failure ultimately caused my divorce. Yet both of us are far happier now. Interesting what you say regarding realistic dreams. I don’t agree with that assessment even though it has proven true for many. Realism is one limit I just can’t allow myself to consider. I think I’ll write about that in another post, thanks.
@Andrea yes there is another good idea for a post, various transition strategies. You’re right easing in is a much wiser way. Some of us just can’t help ourselves though, we are those all or nothing kind of characters.
Leaping does get easier; you’re right on again. It’s a muscle just like saying no to tyranny – it gets stronger with exercise.
@Suzanne wow, now that’s a story. You just keep on getting up, don’t you? I’m so grateful for you and my other self-employed readers for the inspiration you offer to those considering making the leap. As you know I’ve also taken the pressure off by developing multiple streams. It’s a wonderful strategy especially if you align everything under one umbrella as you have.
@Edtajchman welcome and I agree intention is a powerful contributing factor. In fact when followed by focus and action it becomes an outstanding destiny creation tool.
@Kelly well your certainly right about fear. When folks take the money excuse away that’s all that’s really left some fear of failure or of the unknown. You are absolutely right jobs are no longer synonymous with security. Since they offer little security and almost no freedom it’s kind of nuts to remain employed. Unless of course the job gives you what your really want.
Great article Tom,
I would offer another reason many people fail to enjoy the life of freedom:
“Our doubts are traitors, And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt.” William Shakespeare, “Measure for Measure”, Act 1 scene 4 …
Have you noticed how many people reject an opportunity without any investigation? It seems to me that personal programming — from a lifetime of reinforcing limiting beliefs — keeps most people from venturing forth where opportunity can lead to freedom.
Validating an idea, no matter how casually it first arrived, seems to be more valuable than discovering the truth. Then rationalization is used to justify the outcome, no matter how disappointing.
Imagine the magnificant outcomes when people honestly admit how they would like their lives to be and then focused all their energies on attaining those outcomes!
Peter
5). Procrastination
4). Lack of self-confidence
3). Not being clear on the livelihood I want
2). Fear of failure
1). Money
Yeah, that’s me. Hoping to take the leap by May of this year
@Peter yes what is a doubt but a fear not fully expressed. What you say is true and can be changed by working on the inside to build up ones confidence while at the same time taking action to prove ones doubts were groundless.
@grownandsexy it must not be you too much if your leap is scheduled for May of this year. Please come back and tell us how it feels. Welcome to that land of the free and the home of the brave –self-employment!
Go to http://www.CoreU.com and subscribe for my coaching newsletter. Look soon for announcements of groups forming to support your leap.
Hi, Tom-
I fretted for years before departing from the corporate world. I wanted more time with my husband and my son, as my little one’s childhood hurtled forward at warp speed and I missed it. However…we just couldn’t figure out how this could possibly work.
A wise friend who had left a high-powered job to go home altogether put it this way: If you crunch the numbers, you’ll never leave.
Yes, we had to plan…yes we had to look at how we were living…yes we had to be responsible about this and not just picture the dream-sequence of the three of us together, minus mommy’s high heels and Blackberry… but in the end I just had to leave.
HA! It was scary as hell (the time right before I made the leap.) And, truth be told, a lot of times AFTER making the leap have been scary, too. But at the end of the day, when I realized that the fear was about exactly the things you discussed regarding money….self-judgment, fear of lack, the perception of not being able to make money joyfully…..I also realized none of that was anywhere near as important as I thought it was, and the money wasn’t anywhere near as important either! I am so damn happy and joyful in my life each and every day, and the lack of employment is the reason! I’ll never have a job again, I don’t care what the pay is. In fact, I have already turned down opportunities to return to very lucrative positions, but it’s not work that would make my heart sing! I am living life like I never did before….even though I thought my “employment life” was as good as it could possibly be, it was NOT even CLOSE.
Hi Tom and Everyone!
These are all so helpful and what a great article, Tom.
I have made many leaps and the most fulfilling were the ones where the drive came from a gripping feeling of ‘this is right’ from the inside…”I want this…”
My young son was afraid of rollercoasters and I admit, I was a bit too. But we determined to get over this and I made a challenge to us, that we try to imagine ourselves driving the car faster than it was going. What we both discovered was, when we changed our perspective from being taken down the track to being the driving pushing force pretending it became fun…nothing else changed! Our forward focus allowed us to be actually so engaged that we were laughing and what was a white-knuckle ride became muscles tensed in pushing forward! No more fear.
Fear usually comes when you feel pushed, excitement comes when you decide to be the ‘pusher’…’engage’, be the driver and focus on the tasks/goal/big picture.
Also, fear happens when you forget to breathe into your excitement!
So, you handled the excuse about ‘money,’ the issue about ‘fear.’
Now we only have:
5). Procrastination
4). Lack of self-confidence
3). Not being clear on the livelihood I want
All seems to boil down to doubt: We’re not going to let a little thing like THAT stop us!
Onward! woohooo!
Fawn
PS GREAT articles!
@Viviana, so your freedom and peace of mind were more valuable to you than money and what it can buy. That’s what it sounds like to me. You’re right about the numbers they just don’t add up in self-employment, especially in the beginning. But the upside numbers actually blow employment away. Once we find our stride and seek to give exceptional value from the foundation of our greatness then the numbers will match the freedom. Thanks for your inspiration.
@Clem, Ha Ha indeed. The fear gradually leaves and the feeling of self-determination is ever-present. You’ve proven as well that to wakeup each morning and call ones own shots is the most delicious aspects of a life well lived!
Hey Tom, great piece of writing. I believe that becoming an entrepreneur will make me happier, but it’s not like that for everyone. Some people want to follow someone else’s leadership. I think that it’s good for people to work for others. I’ve really learned a lot from my previous bosses.
I wouldn’t trade any of my experience working for others. These leaders have made me stronger and smarter.
@Fawn I too have followed that gut feeling to leap. I find your engagement method interesting. Fear is a very funny nothing. It comes up for you when you feel pushed, yet it comes up for me when I know I’ve chosen a more cautious approach than is good for me.
@Karl all true man. I’m sure there are good things to learn from every experience. You’re right being on your own is not for everyone. But if everyone were honest deep within they would prefer the freedom of calling their own shots.
Tom,
I’ve been working for myself for 15 years now, and am at this point considering jumping back into the employment field. And the same five reasons hold me back from making the change, but on both sides. On the one hand, those five issues keep me freelancing. But fear of those five issues keep me now from changing what I have to try something else. It’s a double-edged sword!
Carla
http://40-nowwhat.blogspot.com/
Carla of course I don’t know much about your situation, especially your emotional and financial reserves at this point. But I would encourage you to hang in there and dig a lot deeper to find your vein of self-employment gold. You’ve already made the leap. Perhaps your adjustment is not as huge as it seems.
Very good and well maintained website. thanks for sharing with others. love to visit again for updates.
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Thanks & Regards,
Ankur
http://managehrnetwork.blogspot.com/