Why Don’t We Use What We Already Know?

One of the most frequent comments I see on self-development blogs is, “thanks for reminding me.” Often this is followed by the exasperating question, “I know this stuff; why do I forget to use it?”

Why do we forget to use what we already know to be useful for us?

When this occurs, have we really learned it well in the first place?

Perhaps we’ve read something a few times and we assume we’ve learned it because we recognize it when we see it again. But have we learned it deeply enough for it to become a habit?

Particularly in the practice of self-development, why do we tend to slip back into less-than-conscious, default behaviors that don’t serve us well?

Is it a matter of a lack of awareness?

It could be. But I think it’s mainly because we’ve unwittingly fallen under the influence of an outside belief that appears to be strong. As we absorb that outside belief, and as we do, it latches onto other limiting, pre-existing beliefs; before we know it, we are focusing on the lack of what we really want.

For example, take our so-called “troubled” economy. I generally don’t watch national newscasts but I’ve been so excited about having a real choice in the year’s presidential election that I got sucked into all the news regarding the economic bailout. Even though I consciously choose my thoughts, the insidious nature of doom and gloom affected the future I was imagining.

Gratefully, I was jarred back to an abundant reality by reading Slade Roberson’s excellent post, Paper Money Airplane.

Here’s the bottom line when it comes to creating our own reality: garbage in results in garbage out. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known something, you aren’t immune to a fearful collective consciousness with an opposing view. Remain diligent, filter your outside influences, and decide what you know as often as necessary to create the life and business you desire.

If all of this depressing economic news has you down, decide to clear it now by watching this excellent video of Brad Yates using EFT (emotional freedom technique).

I’m interested; in the comments, please tell me why you don’t always use what you already know.

Comments

  1. As I keep saying to myself and anyone who will listen, “The economy might suck in YOUR world, but in MY world, the economy is thriving.” 🙂

    Great post, good reminder, and thank you for the very helpful EFT session.

    JBs last blog post..Closer

  2. JB!!!! You and I are in the same world. I’ve been saying the same thing!!! Today I listened to a call sponsored by James Ray with Jim Hansberger about the economy and how to prosper from the current situation. He had so many positive things to point out that the news doesn’t want to mention. They are loving this gloom and doom crap. It’s the same as the weather reporters getting all excited at the prospect of a big storm. These people live to report bad news!

    My thinking is that I have big plans for the coming 12 months and I intend to execute on them and be successful in doing so and in my world that’s all that matters 🙂

    Melissas last blog post..30 Days Gluten, Dairy and Diet Coke Free…well, kind of…

  3. JB – Good for you. That’s an excellent strength to show. My lapse was very momentary but I did slip into temporarily believing those buggers.

    Melissa – you are so correct. They love it because they think most of us will buy into it. Too bad they are out of understanding with the optimists of the world. Here – here to your big plans!

  4. There would be lots of ways of looking at why we don’t use information we know – one way is that it’s because we can only absorb knowledge we are ready to integrate.

    I’ve made a habit of reading certain self-development-type books over and over again over since 1986, and each year I read them, something different sinks in – because I have grown to a different level and have become ready for that information.

    So while we might grasp self-development concepts intellectually quite quickly, we can only keep plugging away at integrating them to the point where they become a reality!

    Robins last blog post..Ice And Global Warming

  5. Jarrod - Warrior Development says

    This is a very important topic, thanks for reminding me 😛

    I agree that part of it is things not becoming habit or internalised.

    That being said many of us (including myself at times) get into reading lots and learning heaps of new things and never get to the stage of deeply applying what we have read.

    The other aspect that I think keeps us from making lasting change is the focus on the new things without dealing with our current issues.

    Integrating a new habit without touching the conflicting one that has been ingrained for decades is asking for disaster.

    Jarrod – Warrior Developments last blog post..Continuous Improvement: Plan and Reflect Daily

  6. Tom:

    I’m reading Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert and I’m in the chapter that address that very issue. It’s a great book, thoroughly researched (and I mean thoroughly). In it he says that we don’t learn from experience because our memory tends to focus on the most memorable part of an experience rather than the whole experience, so we edit out parts we don’t want to remember and so end up repeating ourselves.

    That’s a very simplified view and I need to read the book again to fully understand what he’s saying – suffice to say – READ THIS BOOK – I’d call it required reading for any personal development blogger. 😉

    Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..The Simple Life: Nicole Stevens Interview

  7. Hi Tom. I agree that practicing will help to redirect or change our habits. But, speaking from experience, I have soft spots that I may have tried to cover up or forget about (spots that have not yet healed).

    These spots or buttons can from time to time be uncovered in certain experiences and it’s pretty hard to focus when you are experiencing emotional pain. And, as long as there are holes in your bucket a lot of good learning can be lost.

    All I can say is dig deep into not only reading books, but dig deep into what bugs you and what feeds you. And practice the learning. And believe me, I’m no expert at all! Just sharing some insights from the bucket before they leak away 🙂

    Thanks for sharing the EFT video. I needed it today!

    Davinas last blog post..Free Spirit My Ass!

  8. What we ‘know’ is something which someone else has discovered as his/her truth. This ‘knowledge’ has not become the truth for us. When we discover this ‘knowledge’, when we get to this knowledge by ourselves, it is then that we start believing in it completely and live our lives aligned with the knowledge.

    Avani-Mehtas last blog post..Honor Your Anger Style : Anger Management Series Part V

  9. @Tom
    Exactly. We edit out the boring stuff. For example we tend to believe that we ALWAYS get stuck in the slowest line at the grocery store because we don’t remember the normal or fast times but always remember the inconvenient slow times.

    Alex Fayle | Someday Syndromes last blog post..Pushing Yourself Forward

  10. This is an awesome post and is something that has been in the back of my mind for a while. It surfaces once in a while and then I seem to neglect it for some reason or another.

    It’s true that we think we know something, because we’ve simply seen it a few times. We’ve read it. But we haven’t experienced it.

    We can read that “We all are one” and think we know that. But until we experience it deeply, we really don’t.

    Thanks for reminding me to remind myself. I am going to work more toward internalizing one habit at a time, rather than passively thinking that I “already know it.”

  11. Jarrod – thanks for that reminder joke. 🙂 I knew there would be at least one. 🙂 You’ve made a powerful point about how we tend to reach for the new without fully addressing existing challenges. Tension relief is a very tempting lure.

    Davina – I’m glad you raised this point about those buttons or emotional triggers. Some learning is definitely more emotional releasing so that we have the bandwidth to absorb the lesson.

    Avani – you’ve written a pretty profound comment. I’d love to hear more about how you can tell that you’ve truly discovered knowledge for yourself.

    Alex – Thanks for the book tip – it is well received. I’m curious. What parts did his research show that we edit out? I’m guessing it would be those parts that had little emotional impact on our lives. Right?

    Jonathan – you’re right about that. Some of my most vivid experiences for feeling our oneness were in spiritual settings involving vulnerability and song. After that rich enlightenment there is no going back. The knowledge has been experienced and imprinted.

  12. Question: Is it just me OR, do I know too much?
    I know you are used to my humor, and this time I am serious…how on GODS GREEN EARTH could I ever use what I know? The question is when do I really KNOW. And what should I chose to KNOW. Thanks Tom!

    Harmonys last blog post..Life Happens While We Are Busy Making Plans

  13. Shamelle - TheEnhanceLife says

    You ask a worthy question. I think that most of us know quite a lot about various things but only a few actually make use of their “whole” knowledge. I suppose this has something to do with potential as well.
    I mean when someone saying that “he is not working upto his potential” it also implies not using the knowledge. What do you think?

    Shamelle

    Shamelle – TheEnhanceLifes last blog post..Over Spending & Impulse Buying: 8 Reasons Why You’re Not To Blame

  14. Hi Tom: I was just reading that most employees don’t apply what they learn in all those seminars their companies are constantly sending them to. I think the trick is in not just feeding people knowledge, but giving them concrete examples of how they can apply the knowledge to their life, clear how-to steps, and an action plan on how they will apply the knowledge. If you don’t then it’s not life changing knowledge but simply another topic of conversation for cocktail parties. And I love EFT!

    Marelisas last blog post..Four Outstanding Thoughts on Innovation

  15. So Tom, is the places that you tap important? Are these pressure points? Is there a site to explain these places?

  16. I often use “Thanks for reminding me” when I write comments. Part of me wonders if it is just human nature (or is that just an excuse). I also think it is a balancing act. We can’t always be focusing on everything. It’s one of the reasons I love reading so many personal development blogs…because they do literally remind me to focus on different areas of my life.

  17. Alex – thanks for the confirmation. The book’s on my list. I get so many suggestions of this nature that I wait until 2 or 3 folks recommend the same one. Then I know I’m due for it. 🙂

    Harmony – It’s just you. 🙂 No I understand. I think we really know what we know when our engagement of it becomes automatic.

    Shamelle – I always looked at potential more as not living up to our natural talents. Upon reflection I guess you’re right. There are lots of over-educated and under-active folks who know a lot but seldom use it.

    Marelisa – yes there has been a lot written about how we learn and I think it’s on the trainer as well if folks never engage the wisdom. Also a huge factor of corporate learning retention very interestingly has nothing tom do with what was taught, who taught it or who learned it. The highest contributing factor is “what” is said about the opportunity when it’s presented to the employees.

    EFT is my single most effective method for quickly turning around stinking thinking and feeling down. I love it as well!

    Laurie – do a YouTube search for EFT and you’ll find plenty of charts that tell you where to tap. The main ones are all the same but there are also some variations. http://carollook.com also has a printable chart that’s good.

    Stacy – I agree. Why not use them as reminders? What do you mean by human nature? I’m not sure I understand.

  18. Hi Tom – great post, and timely too! I think that people don’t adopt good knowledge and practices sometimes because they’ve only done half the right thing. Not only do they need to know new habits, but they need to get rid of triggers and the mindset associated with the old habits, or else the new habits have no chance to stick. Both steps are important for change to happen.

    Al at 7Ps last blog post..Guest Post at Write to Done

  19. Al – you’re right about that. They also need to be excited about making the changes. For instance, I read so much on technological advances and blog tech tips. But since I often still fight the learning of it I don’t really know it.

  20. This is an interesting topic. One thing I’ve struggled with is letting other people’s views or negative comments affect the way I feel about myself. I’ve become better with this but sometimes I have to repeatedly remind myself that just because someone believes something negative about me it doesn’t make their belief true.

    And with ecomonics – well, of course the news is going to sensationalize everything. I spent a day overly concerned about it and finally told myself that it was not within my power to change something so big so that worrying was a waste of my own energy.

    Kim Woodbridges last blog post..WordPress: How Has Blogging With WordPress Changed Your Life

  21. Tom,

    I will be honest. I use what I know within a linear context when I think it will work. Usually I’m frustrated because I have to use language, and I find language to very limiting at times.

    My problem is translating what I know into a language people understand in the here and now.

    I am a big picture person that sees everything all at once.

  22. “human nature” – Maybe it’s part of our DNA to not be able to incorporate all of our knowledge at the same time. Maybe that is why we need reminders and why the personal development community is so large.

  23. Kim – the fact that you recognize the struggle tells e that you are almost done with accepting the authority and opinion of another as more important than your own. You’ll benefit from reading my very next post on authority. I agree about our affect on the greater economy but we can speak up regarding our own confidence and spread the lack of fear one person at a time.

    Ellen – your exceptional big picture vision sounds like a very unique and powerful strength. I can see how the communication of it with language can be a challenge for you. How else can you communicate your vision?

    Stacy – that’s very astute, sometimes the simplest explanation is the answer. At least that makes me feel good as a part of that community.

  24. “I know this stuff; why do I forget to use it”

    Knowledge is different from wisdom.

    We can know something, yet it has little effect on us. In fact, knowing is a process that can take a long period of time. This is why you can’t read a self help book or a blog article and be automatically transformed. You have to work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work and then work some more on making what you’ve learned become part and parcel of who you are.

    In other words, it has to be deeply ingrained in your very being, otherwise it may end up being about as powerful as a passing thought.

    A good example of this is the following:

    One person may “know” that everything ultimately happens for the good. And yet, when great challenge descends on them, they become a wreck.

    Another person, also knows that everything ultimately happens for the good; the same great challenge descends on the 2nd person as did the 1st, yet the 2nd person remains filled with peace, regardless.

    Both are aware of this teaching, but the 2nd person is more than aware. It’s part of who he or she is.

  25. Hey Bamboo – thanks for taking the time to offer such a great example. Although I did count ten “works” in your statement. 🙂 Let’s hope it doesn’t always take such effort.

    But you’re right. There are levels of integration in our learning. That’s why it helps to hang around folks who are also focusing on transformation. What we absorb models more of what we are working on that way.

  26. hmmm. I’m lazy? Nah, couldn’t be that. 🙂

    I can only keep 7 things in my short term memory at a time? Definitely.

    My poor brain is too full of bad habits that it doesn’t have room for any more good ones? sigh.

    I think of it as clearing a path in the jungle. If you come back every now and then and weed whack it a bit, it still is useful. If you don’t revisit it on a regular basis, the jungle just fills in and you don’t even know it was there!

    Consider yourself our good habit machete! 🙂

    Thanks!

    G.

    Graces last blog post..The 5 minute shift that saves brain cells

  27. Grace – welcome. There is no such thing as a coincidence. I’ve been
    writing a post this morning where I talk about just that – clearing a path through the jungle of ones own authenticity. You’ve offered a very nice analogy for learning. Even though I’m more like a guide I do have a machete and I’m fond of it.

  28. Bill Bachrach http://www.bachrachvbs.com/ is a wonderful speaker and I heard a very amusing audio of him warming up an audience at some company sales event.

    He asked who read inspiring and morivational books.
    Lots of hollering and hands in the air from the audience.

    Then he asked who had read Steven Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.
    Still lots of hands in the air.

    But Bill hadn’t finished… and in a deadpan voice, he continued:

    “OK…so how many of you Steven Covey fans can name those 7 habits?”

    A stunned silence, followed by a few call outs of various habits… “Begin with the end in mind” etc.

    Bill goes for the kill with… “Anyone recall 6? 5? 4? …” 🙂

    It was both hilarious and sobering to listen to… as I’d read that book on and off for several years and could only get 3 or 4.

    I think Bill’s point was a great one – optimal benefit comes when you can internalize and then live and breath such wisdom as Steven Covey presents. Man, I’d never even written those habits down or scheduled each for a month in my life at a time (a la Ben Franklin).

    That taught me a great lesson about the value in focusing on one thing at a time. i.e. I coulda stored all my PD books in a crate and just worked on the 7 Habits for a year or more. Would be like spontaneous combustion I suspect!

    (I still have the Covey book and have included lessons from that book and others plus my own life experiences in what I call “Just Five Rules”. )

    Mark McClures last blog post..True Happiness And Peace of Mind

  29. thanks!!!!!!!!

  30. Truthfully, I think we’ve learned it, but we’ve also learned so many other things that we just can’t remember everything when we’re confronted with a situation unless it’s something we do each time. For instance, until I turned 28, I remembered every single phone number I’d ever heard in my entire life. Then I got into management, and suddenly, because I had other things to think about on a consistent basis, I lost this ability. Doesn’t mean I never knew it, but my abilities had to change and my focus had to change and, unfortunately, I lost that particular gift.

    Mitchs last blog post..Solving Rubik’s Cube

  31. Hey Mitch – welcome! So you think it’s a matter of diminishing bandwidth huh? I’m sure that’s a factor that lessens our recall ability. You’re right about that. Any gift that remains unused for too long is not as functional as one that we use frequently.

  32. Actually, I’d probably say diminished capacity rather than bandwidth because we don’t slow down, but we continue taking in more and more information, plus some things become more important and need more of our brain power than other things. So, we compartmentalize just a bit more, because we still need and want to remember some of that old stuff.

    But it ain’t easy!

    Mitchs last blog post..Johnny The Bagger

  33. Tom,

    Great post and timely question; there are no easy answers to this issue.

    I think that long abiding negativity and associated behavior patterns exercise so strong an influence that they erase the positive thoughts and or influences we might have.

    Remember the Parable of the Sower – the seeds not planted in deep soil; new habits not firmly embedded in consciousness – and the reference to the demons exorcised from a man who would wander around for a while and then return to find their former place of abode clean and unoccupied; i.e. not filled with positive thoughts.

    Both of these Biblical stories point to the importance of deeply absorbing the principles of Mindset Optimization. If these principles are deeply held and beleived in, they become second nature and will not easily evaporate in the face of some trheatening danger.

    If one is well-grounded in, and has absorbed Mindset Optimization principles they have learnt, they will not fall back into old thought-behavior patterns or crumble at the first sign of trouble

    michaelkpohs last blog post..Lazarus “Law of noise’

  34. Very important topic is discussed to article. people try to learn and learn. learning is not bad but i believe in action, i mean application. i think we learn a lot and do not apply. i think after a certain stage of learning we should start applying the things we know naturally. that will work. because when you have to fight real or powerful enemy that time what you have learned will be less effective than what you naturally know.

    Curts last blog post..Today was a Tough Day

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