Because Spring Is the Time of Love

April 25, 2008 by · Leave a Comment

In my last post I wrote about celebration. Now I’d like to celebrate a success story of one of the people I coach. About a year ago, Bill shared with me an idea for an online relationship-enhancing tool. Bill is one of those folks, like so many of us, that just need someone firmly in his corner to take, and stay in, action. The next few weeks we tossed some ideas back and forth, and then Bill committed to take steps to have the system developed. Bill continued to set targets, making some, missing others, and processing whatever needed to be processed to remain in action.

If you are currently in a romantic relationship, I invite you to try LovePong. It’s fun, it’s free, and it really works!

If you have an idea for a business that you’d like to discuss with me, drop me a line. I’d love to support you in any way I can.

A Client’s Perspective – How I Use My Coach
By Bill Weil

When Tom and I first began working together, he shared his perspective that a coach is simply a tool to add the greatest possible value to the client’s life and business. So how do I use my coach?

  • As a nurturing, safe and affirming sounding board
  • As an accountability partner, so that I honor my own promises
  • As a nudge to get me off the dime and into action
  • As a fellow brainstormer, with an unbiased, third-party view
  • Finally, as a “negative energy clearer,” so that I can release all the raging emotions and conflicting thoughts in my head, find my clarity, and be productive.

I have benefited tremendously from Tom’s coaching and support. I would (and do!) highly recommend Tom to really anyone who is serious about taking their business, or their life, to the next level.

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Five Good Reasons to Celebrate More Often

April 22, 2008 by · 23 Comments

Celebration may be the most underutilized tool in your box. Some view celebration as soft or slacking off – like we aren’t really doing anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. Celebration is a pivotal stage in the productivity process because it allows us to commemorate all the good that we do.

Unlike indigenous cultures, in the western world, we have forgotten many of our traditions, ceremonies and celebrations especially around the work that we do. In the name of progress, our culture has lessened rejoicing over everyday occurrences like sunrises and important seasonal events like harvest time. We need to remember that when the crops are safely in, it’s time to dance and make merry.

In an earlier post, Work Life Happiness – Stake Your Claim Now, I illustrated the Authentic Cycle of Probability.

Cycle of Authentic Probability

Look where celebration falls – right after gratitude and just before completion. That’s an extremely powerful stage of the cycle that should not be overlooked.

Gratitude is the causative energy of appreciation that blesses us with ease and greater flow. Celebration is self-acknowledgment and recognition for successfully completing every small step. Completion is the triumphant achievement of our objective and our signal to proceed forward to the freshness of discovery. Here are five good reasons to celebrate more often.

  1. Celebration helps us stay in the present where our power is. By celebrating the completion of every small step, we leverage the powerful energies of gratitude and momentum. Thomas Edison taught us that even each mistake along the way is cause for celebration. Life is all about the journey, and that means that every step, as well as reaching our destination, is part of our journey. Celebrating at every juncture is recognition of a life well lived and well worked.
  2. Celebration builds self-respect. Others treat us according to how we treat ourselves. It’s important to hold yourself in high regard. Perhaps, like me, your early caregivers did not celebrate your presence and special glow. Celebration overwrites this limited conditioning and tips the balance of your internal programming so that it’s more natural to think well of yourself.
  3. Celebration feeds our basic human need for self-love and self-acceptance. Celebration is emotional nourishment. Yet sometimes we simply don’t feel like celebrating because we’ve fallen into the habit of harshly judging ourselves. When this happens, there is a negative feeling remaining in our bodies from a challenging event in our past. A very powerful tool to remove the feeling so you feel like celebrating once more is Emotional Freedom Technique. There are many practitioners with instructional videos available online. I like this one on self-acceptance: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFn8tX5xD4s&hl=en]
  4. Celebration is positive magnification. What we focus on expands. When we downplay or skip celebration, we are telling ourselves that we haven’t done enough to be proud of ourselves – so our self-doubt is what expands. The proliferation of productivity blogs on the web tells me that lots of folks don’t follow-through frequently enough to feel good about it. Want to complete more projects with less procrastination and guilt? Then do not skip this powerful stage of the process. Celebrate more often and stay on it longer. Honor your completions, both big and small, in celebration so that you expand more of what you want in your life.
  5. Shameless self-promotion and marketing is easier with celebration. We’ve got to toot our own horns in this crowded world so the right folks will hear us and gather round. “If you’re embarrassed about what you do well, you won’t be very attractive.” – Thomas J. Leonard In 1998, way before The Secret, Leonard in his groundbreaking book, The Portable Coach, shared his 28 Laws of Attraction. In number 7, Market Your Talents Shamelessly; he shares a brilliant distinction: Confidence vs. Arrogance. “Confidence is knowing exactly what you do well and don’t do well; arrogance is a way to cover up what you don’t do well.”Confidently celebrate and flaunt your bad ass self and marketing gets easier because more people will seek you out. Fear not, the phone will ring. The world needs your edge to be complete. The same people who told you not to toot your own horn also told you to be seen and not heard. They were dead wrong, both times.

Sometimes we lament our lack of progress and go on fruitless searches for the answer. But often what’s missing is as simple as a little jig of recognition or bursting out in spontaneous song.
Your very being is enough reason to celebrate. Select a project or any progress that makes you feel good and join Kool and the Gang in Celebration of your achievement![youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmOQyyezwCQ&hl=en]

What do you think? Are you celebrating enough? What have you accomplished recently that is reason to celebrate? What have you passed over without giving it its due recognition?

If you truly want something to celebrate right now then schedule a complimentary session with me and we will expand your greatest business asset.

Filed Under: Getting Unstuck · Tagged: , , , , , , , ,

Massive Inspired Action – a Recipe for Success

April 16, 2008 by · 25 Comments

As we seize our work life freedom, it’s often necessary to achieve measurable progress so that our confidence catches up to our intentions. The most effective tool to jump start momentum and insure success is massive inspired action – because it increases the probability of success.

Massive Inspired Action is a process I developed where you engage a variety of fierce and creative actions to increase the probability of reaching an objective. Bull

We make success more likely by increasing the sheer volume and variety of inspired actions over a short period of time. The success comes not necessarily as a direct result of those actions, but more likely as a result of the confidence one emits around the whole campaign. Five years ago, I was sitting in a weekend retreat facilitated by author Egbert Sukop when he said something like, “Results don’t necessarily come directly from the actions we take, but parallel to those actions.” (Image by pbr-angel on Flickr, via Creative Commons license)

He went on to explain this observation. Cause and effect is not a sure thing. Many of our actions produce desired results, but often we can’t foretell which ones will work and which ones will not. Sometimes a method will work four times in a row and then quit working at all.

This got me thinking. Career coaching is a wonderful living laboratory because I get to experiment with so many different clients who hold multiple and varied beliefs on what does and does not work well. Over the years, after working with hundreds of clients, I developed this process to help more clients win the game they want to win.

The process of massive inspired action works so well in a quest for true calling or right livelihood because it counters all the negative energy that cautions us to play it safe and remain miserably where we are. The masses are always going to be against risk. The masses are always going to want you to stay with them so you can wallow together in the prison of employment. Freedom requires bold action; if you’re going to risk it all, why not increase the probability of your success?

Massive inspired action is a fierce excuse eliminator. It’s about the most responsible thing you can do for yourself when you’re ready to make your move. If you are going to seize your freedom, you’ve got to give it your all. It’s imperative that you go beyond what’s required. Just going through the motions and doing the minimum is an employment strategy, not a self-employment one.

You might recall from an earlier post that this is the fourth stage in my Authentic Cycle of Probability. So, first make sure you’ve run your dream or project through the first three stages, discovery, decision and focus. Then you’ll be properly aligned for action.

Why does massive inspired action work so well? Let’s break the recipe down and look at the ingredients.

The benefit of action at first appears obvious. Without it nothing happens. Yet we can’t foretell which actions will produce desired outcomes and which will not. There are too many unseen factors – like subconscious beliefs at play. That’s one reason why it’s more likely that results come alongside actions and not necessarily as a direct result of them.

The benefit of massive is twofold. Massive creates a wave of confident energy, and confidence is a natural attractor. Massive also gives us the space to be creative and to put a variety of methods, approaches and actions in play. Like the prospector who pans for gold, has a sluice running and a mine, by leveraging the sheer number and variety of actions, we increase the probability of striking it rich. Staking multiple claims increases our options when adjustments are needed – and gives us an overall feeling of command.

Inspiration gives an authentic blessing to our massive actions. Inspiration is robust and alive. It provides a level of vigor and courage that’s seldom seen in a lesser campaign. That’s why finding your work life happiness and freedom is such an individual pursuit. Not all things work for all people, and not all methods work all the time. The more genuine your approach, the greater your probability of success. Massive inspired action allows your purest flow of exceptionality to come forth – and that attracts others who want to support your drive for success.

Massive inspired action is not an everyday process. We can only do massive for short periods of time. It’s particularly powerful at the start of a project, when momentum is so critical to success. Save it for the big game that really matters to you. It’s fun to give something all you’ve got. It’s a blast to make your move in a very big way and to follow through all the way to completion.

If you read this blog, chances are you’ve been holding back for some time. Holding back is for wimps. No matter how evolved we are, we all hold back on something. Holding back squashes delight. Are you ready to fly? Might this be your time to give it all you have? Are you ready to step forth and seize your freedom? If you are, then use massive inspired action. It works!

Filed Under: Life Coaching · Tagged: , , , , , , , ,

Why Responsibility is the Key to Work Life Freedom

April 8, 2008 by · 12 Comments

Why do so many who say they want the freedom of being their own boss remain employed?

According to a recent Intuit survey, 72% of Americans say they would rather work for themselves and 67% say they regularly or constantly think about quitting their jobs.

So why haven’t more actually made the move that they say they want to? In a recent post we looked at the fear of not having enough money. But we know it’s never really the money.

By digging deeper, what would we see lurking beneath the fear that’s stopping all these people from acting on what they say they want? I think it might be two things.

  1. Not having a real appreciation for the value in being your own boss.
  2. Not taking enough responsibility for one’s own happiness and well-being.

The Value of Freedom

If all you’ve ever known is slavery, might there be a comfortable, however twisted, safety in remaining a slave?

Could those of you who have yet to choose their freedom somehow have undervalued it because you simply don’t know how wonderful it feels to be free?

Work life freedom is complete autonomy. It’s the right of self-determination in every aspect of the work that you do. Perhaps it would be easier to value this freedom if those who have chosen to subjugate themselves to the will of an employer could get very clear on exactly what they are choosing to give up.

Within work life freedom are these freedoms:

  1. The freedom of choice, which is the freedom to decide what you will work on and with whom.
  2. The freedom of flexibility, which is enjoying the option of working when you want to and for how long.
  3. The freedom of self-expression, which is the ability to speak up for what you believe in and to freely speak your mind without fear of negative consequences.

The Responsibility of Freedom

How would you answer the question: What’s my greatest responsibility to myself?

How about this? My greatest responsibility for myself is my health, happiness and well-being.

So might it really be a question of responsibility? Has this great a number of unfulfilled employees abdicated their responsibility along with their freedom?

By abdicating responsibility, you get to complain and act as though your happiness is the responsibility of something or someone outside of your own control. When we abdicate our autonomy to an external authority, who is really authoring our lives? Haven’t we then given up our destiny to the random whims of bosses who, they themselves, typically don’t even enjoy their own work?

Renowned psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden stated in his book Taking Responsibility, “The first act of self-responsibility, and the basis for all others, is the act of taking responsibility for being conscious – that is, of bringing an appropriate awareness to our activities.”

I’m saying that the unhappily employed are actually not bringing enough awareness to their choices and activities. If you were, then you would see the futility in subjecting your life to outside authorities.

This blog refers to the same Intuit survey and highlights that 81 percent of Americans think that owning a business is more empowering than a “regular” job.

Might the fear of actually exercising that empowerment really be what’s stopping so many? I think so.
Claiming your work life freedom is primarily an inside job that begins with acting responsibly.

So assuming you are willing to, how can you take more responsibility to claim your own work life freedom?
You can:

  1. Know and act on the basis that you are at choice in the matter.
  2. Consciously direct your attention and focus on what you want.
  3. Consciously cease complaining about what you don’t want.
  4. Imagine what might happen if you took just 10% more responsibility for your work life happiness.
  5. Act on what came up for you when you imagined that greater responsibility.

Who among you in the 72% are willing and ready to do the above?

Those of you who have already claimed your freedom, what would you have these dream seekers do?

Filed Under: Freedom of Self-Employment · Tagged: , , , , ,

Hard Truths, Whole Truths and Nothing But the Truth? Bull!

April 3, 2008 by · Leave a Comment

What a wonderful adventure self-employment is. I’m laughing at myself today and I want to share that laugh with you. What’s cracking me up? Just that I had a truth to tell, and hemmed and hawed about telling that truth – which is soooo not who I am. Temporarily, I forgot an essential truth of life.

It’s all bull. We make it all up. (Image by mrchriscornwell on Flickr, via Creative Commons license) Bull

In personal matters, everything we perceive as truth is really a fabrication that we put together to explain our actions and decisions. Through the lenses of our own perception, every story that we tell ourselves about ourselves, if limiting in any way, is pure bull. Our stories are full of reasons, justifications, excuses and lies that we create so that we don’t have to be as authentically daring as we really know we ought to be.

“There are no whole truths: all truths are half-truths. It is trying to treat them as whole truths that plays the devil.” – Alfred North Whitehead

Here’s what’s so funny. Like most folks, I don’t really enjoy confrontation. But like most coaches, I rigorously self-examine. So when I know something’s not kosher, I really can’t remain silent.

I suspect that my darker side may even bring things to a boil so that bold action is necessary. For a long time, I was one of those guys who avoided conflict and procrastinated until I forced my own hand. Then I buckled down and pulled things out at the last minute. I repeated that pattern until it didn’t work for me in one colossal failure. But something within me still craves the remnants of last minute heroics, because I continue to create situations that require it.

For example, I’d rather be brutally honest, even at the risk of rubbing someone the wrong way, than remain silent and tolerant. Isn’t that what we mean when we say we are done suffering fools? But who’s really the fool? Who created the situation in the first place?

The reason I’m laughing so hard at myself is that I’ve realized that I continue to create the very tyranny that I do battle with. It’s no wonder that Braveheart is my favorite movie.

For me, the greatest benefit of self-employment is the freedom of self-determination. But this freedom to call one’s own shots comes with the responsibility of exercising our independence in the face of the pressure to conform. We can’t truly live our freedom without reclaiming it on a regular basis, even if that reclamation is accomplished by smashing the boundaries of our own fabrications.

Sometimes the only thing holding me back is a limiting belief about myself. I suspect if you look within you’ll find the same thing to be true for you.

I am powerless is the lie beneath all other lies.   Steve Chandler

Want to try a powerful, yet very quick and easy exercise? Write down something you say you really want at the top of a pad of paper. Since you don’t already have it, you must have some beliefs that support you not having it. Right? Go ahead and write them all down. Just really make the case for why you can’t have what you want. No go back over your list and see if you really are powerless to make your move. Or is it just a story you’ve been telling yourself?

Filed Under: Life Coaching · Tagged: , , ,

What keeps you from making the leap to your work life freedom?

March 25, 2008 by · 21 Comments

Regular readers of this blog know that I compare employment to slavery. Think that’s too harsh?

Look at this dictionary definition for slavery “…the state of being under the control of another person.” Or look at these synonyms for slavery: drudgery, constraint and subjections, or these antonyms: emancipation, freedom and liberty. If the shoe fits…

LeapI’m not writing this for the few of you who truly love your jobs. And, while I encourage your comments, I’m not writing this for my fellow coaches and bloggers who have already seized their freedom.

I’m writing this for those of you who have yet to make the leap.

(Image by brosha on Flickr, via Creative Commons license)

What’s stops you from going for your work life freedom and fulfillment? Do you know?
What story do you tell yourself about this?

I’ve recently had the privilege of reading the responses of 110 work life freedom surveys.
One survey question asked this.

What is the number one thing stopping you from creating more freedom in your work life?
Here are the top five responses:

5). Procrastination
4). Lack of self-confidence
3). Not being clear on the livelihood I want
2). Fear of failure
1). Money

The number one thing stopping these wonderful, sincere people from going for their work life freedom is a perceived lack of money or concern regarding obligations that require money.

I understand and I can feel your fear. Money is so highly valued in our society that the lack of it can lead to intense self-judgment. Yet I can’t let you continue to hide behind the excuse of not having enough money. We use the lack of money as a reason to keep us from doing and not doing all kinds of things. But that’s not it – and I can prove it to you. Quit reading now and get a piece of paper and a pencil.

In the next five minutes, as quickly as you can, write down all the things you can’t do because you can’t afford it. Just complete this sentence as fast as you can.

I can’t afford to….

(Don’t read on until you’ve taken at least 30 seconds to try this exercise.)

Okay, now go back over your list and read it out loud, but replace “I can’t afford to” with “I don’t want to.”

Can you now see how you have given so much power to money? That’s right, it’s not the money. What if you could accept this as the absolute truth for everything on your list? How would that change what you think you can and cannot do? When we examine how much we really want something, we invite all kinds of fresh insights. It truly does come down to the degree of our desire.

Perhaps you’ll find that you really don’t want your work life freedom that badly. Perhaps you want to continue being safely miserable in your job. If that’s the case, then at least come to acceptance with your choice. Truth be told, some would have to admit that they enjoy the twisted payoff that comes from being a complaining victim.

What about those of you who truly do want your work life freedom?

Are you willing to go deep within your self-exploration to do the work to find it? Are you willing to commit to the active pursuit of your work life freedom?

What remains when you remove money as the reason why you haven’t made the leap?

Is there really anything stopping you now? I’ve dedicated my life to this work. This is the coaching that I do. There is a way that works and I want to guide you there. How can I help you? What would you have me write about?

For my fellow bloggers, coaches and self-employed professionals, what can you share about that time just before you made the leap? How can you encourage these folks to go for it?


Filed Under: Freedom of Self-Employment · Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,

Why Finding the Work You Love May Not Be Enough or Why Doesn’t the Money Always Follow?

March 16, 2008 by · 19 Comments

Repeatedly, I see talented, dedicated, self-employed professionals who are sure they have identified their true calling. Yet especially within the helping professions and the spiritual community, that discovery does not lead to enough money or fulfillment to make them happy.

What’s missing? Why doesn’t the money always follow doing what we love to do?

Here’s how we make the process of discovering our true calling so difficult.

Often folks will declare themselves to be missing a key element of their makeup. They judge themselves harshly. They plant the seed that concludes that they must be lacking in some way. Once planted, this seed of doubt grows into a tree that’s so big that it blocks their vision.

Know anyone like this? They are often slow to respond to their own call? They hesitate when presented with opportunities. What’s behind this lack of responsiveness? Essentially, it’s a lack of commitment. They think they’ve found their calling but they repeatedly stop short of full engagement. I was once this guy. How about you?

Once planted, the seed of doubt sprouts insecurities and self-judgments. “What’s wrong with me? Is it the work or is it me? No I love the work; it must be me. It feels right, maybe I just can’t earn enough in this work? No others do, so it must be me. What am I not seeing? Why can’t I just stick with something and follow through? What’s missing in my makeup? There must be something wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?”

If you’ve had a similar self-dialogue, then you know the futility of it. Allow me to point you in the right direction. It’s not you – it’s the choices you’ve made.

There’s nothing wrong with you; you have what it takes – rather it’s the way you’ve chosen the work you’re doing. Your process was faulty, so your results can only follow.

Here’s the complete process. There are five essential elements that harmoniously work to bring forth your greatness. In this case, here’s my definition of greatness: as much fulfillment, freedom of choice, prosperity and happiness as you desire.

Doing work that you love is only one of five, and if that’s the only one you align with, then you have only a 20% chance of reaching your greatness. Some of you are much closer so you only need to bring a couple of the elements into alignment. Wherever you are use this true target.

Work Target

From the inside out, are you harmoniously aligning all five essential elements?

Work that feeds your soul

Work that’s aligned with your values

Work that you love to do

Work that engages your strengths

Work that encourages your unique traits

Some folks are so far off the mark that it requires a major life calamity to get their attention. Their target may look more like this.

And some folks really confuse the issue by mixing elements from both targets, so they end up hitting neither.

Just in case you aren’t clear, here’s the way you’re supposed to feel. You fly out of bed in the morning and can’t wait to get to your work. Your work completes you.

Once more, from the inside out, here’s the only test you need. Line up these elements and the money does follow, as does fulfillment, freedom and all things good.

  1. Does your work fulfill you by feeding your soul?
  2. Are you attracted to your work? Is it aligned with your values?
  3. Is it work that fuels your passion? Do you actually love the doing of it?
  4. Is it work that comes easily to you? Does it engage your strengths?
  5. Does your work allow you to showcase your uniqueness? Does it encourage the expression of your peculiarities?


Take the Delightful Work Survey

Filed Under: Career Guidance · Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Business Startup Success

March 11, 2008 by · 23 Comments

Business startup success is possible for everyone.  But how can you make business startup success more than possible.

Lately I’ve been fascinated with the short, but sometimes challenging, journey between possibility and probability.

Possibility holds the energy of hope. Possible means it could happen.

Probability holds the energy of optimism and a more confident expectation. Probable means it’s likely to happen.

How do you move from possibility to probability?

Planning for business startup success is more about taking a choice when you see it.  Often we aren’t even aware of where we are – so really we are lost. When lost, we fall prey to states of delay, doubt and confusion.  Action always improves clarity because it changes perspective.

Here’s a simple way to locate where you are in any meaningful pursuit.  I’ve dubbed it the Authentic Cycle of Probability.

Cycle of Authentic Probability

We can’t claim we’re lost when we know where we are. Identifying where you are on this cycle will allow you to remove excuses and focus all of your energy on the next obvious step.

We forget that any movement works.  Too often we put our lives on pause because we seek the magical, and elusive, state of certainty.  By staking your claim on this map of probability, you’ll tilt the odds of completion in your favor.

  1. Discovery is going within to explore and unearth your ideal business.  Claim your free Choosing Your Ideal Business guide.
  2. Decision is a bold declaration of intent on a clear and meaningful objective.
  3. Focus is laser-like concentration on that objective.
  4. Massive Inspired Action is engaging a variety of fierce and creative actions to manifest your objective.
  5. Momentum is energy gained by the movement of following through.
  6. Gratitude is the causative energy of appreciation that blesses us with ease and greater flow.
  7. Celebration is self-acknowledgment and recognition for successfully completing every small step.
  8. Completion is the triumphant achievement of our objective and our signal to proceed forward to the freshness of discovery.

At completion we can honor ourselves by pausing in fulfillment, gratitude and celebration – as long as we feel really good about it. We only need rest and relief when we are toiling in some unaligned, meaningless realm. If we are shooting for the right moon and hitting it, then the energy of completion organically causes us to discover our next mark.

For a different look at deciding where you are read: Are You Sure You’re on the Right Path?

So, at what stage on the cycle of probability do you find yourself today?

Are you consciously working on an intentionally chosen and meaningful objective? Or are you toiling in struggle making someone else rich?

If the latter, what are you going to do about it?

If you are really ready to do something about it you can begin here in Career Change and Discovery or here for Business Start Up Success Coaching.

Many in your shoes have found this free resource of the Nine Elements of Authentic Career Discovery a very useful visual aid.

You’ll more surely hit the mark by identifying where you are.  In your comments, please stake your claim on greater work life fulfillment, happiness, abundance and freedom by letting us know you where you are.

Schedule a Confidently Make the Leap  – Free Strategy Session.

In this strategy session you will: 

  • Get really clear about the business you want to have.
  • Discover the number one thing stopping you from moving forward.
  • Plot out the right timing for you to make your move.
  • Identify the one thing that will give you the confidence to take the leap.
  • End the session inspired and knowing exactly what you need to do next to make your move.
Filed Under: Business Startup, Favorite · Tagged: , , , , , , , ,

Unconditional Support – Ever had it? Want it?

March 5, 2008 by · 21 Comments

Is it truly unconditional?

Do you have a source of unconditional support and are you tapping into it frequently? If you aren’t receiving such powerful backing in your life, what might you do to get some? In my last post, Seizing Your Greatness, I offered a powerful exercise to discover the true path to work that you love.

But what if you’ve found it and don’t feel strong enough to go for it?
That’s where unconditional support comes in. Support in Rugby

I used to be one of those guys who seldom asked for help. That was misguided. I’ve changed my ways, how about you? Do you graciously accept all support and seek it out when needed? I’ve found that most of us need to raise our willingness to receive. Even though the intention to give first without expectation is wise, we also must be willing to ask when we need the strength of others.

Mothers and fathers sometimes provide this level of support, and even spouses and siblings are capable of it. Beyond that (especially in traditional business circles) it’s rare indeed to find folks who are willing.
(Image by murky on Flickr, via Creative Commons license)

Wanting to, and actually following through without a personal agenda, is rare. One of my earliest coaching clients hired me just to listen to his ideas, because everyone else in his life, including his boss and his wife, had their own agenda for him. Have you ever felt that way?

I want you to know that this isn’t just talk. I’m presently testing my theories in a real life experiment by facilitating an unconditional support experience. Thus far, the results are amazing. I’m asking the members of this experience to offer their observations and realizations by commenting below.

What about you?

What could you accomplish, be or understand with a steady stream of support that was absolute, unquestionable and given with no strings attached?

Could this be a case of not knowing what you’re missing because you’ve never realized support without limit?

Observations from the Field

As with team sports, support is more easily given when clear-cut ground rules and a shared objective are agreed upon.

Support is more prevalent when facilitated by a coach who keeps one eye on the rules and another on the big picture objective. I’m finding it to be a challenging and glorious dance.

Even though I’ve coached individuals, groups and teams, those in a group experience receive unconditional support in far greater amounts because there are multiple sources of support that synergize with one another. I wonder if unconditional support could be the key to getting any business or sports team to perform at its best?

It’s certainly making a big difference in the lives of those brave adventurers who are right now participating in this bold social experiment. I’ll let them tell the rest of the story by asking them to comment on their experience.

Well my fellow supporters? What say you?

Can you tell us how differently you now feel while realizing greater unconditional support than before the experiment?

Have you noticed anything different about your decisiveness and/or clarity?

What specific value have you received from enjoying absolute support?

Have you accomplished more or less due to the backing of others?

What would you recommend to those considering a similar experience?

Why would you encourage them to participate?

What else do you want to share about the experience of both giving and receiving unconditional support?

For the rest of you, what could you accomplish, be or understand with a steady stream of support that was absolute, unquestionable and given with no strings attached?


Filed Under: Getting Unstuck · Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,

Seize Your Personal Greatness!

February 27, 2008 by · 52 Comments

Are you willing to stop playing small and get on with seizing your certain greatness?

“I’ve often said that the only thing standing between me and my greatness is me.” Woody Allen

Warning! At the end of this post is a somewhat brutal exercise designed to shock you into uncovering years of garbage so you can see your greatness. Do not read all the way to the end unless you are ready to courageously face what you’ll discover.

Have you always believed that you are destined for personal greatness?Eagle

Regardless of your answer. I’m asking you to go for your greatness without delay.

If you are not yet taking steps towards your greatness – what are you doing with your life? What’s the point in continuing to live safely in mediocrity, fear or confusion?

“People are where they are because that is exactly where they really want to be – whether they will admit that or not.” Earl Nightingale

Personal greatness is a choice – and we even get to choose what it means to us.

Greatness is found by walking down the corridor of your uniqueness; and to realize that greatness, it’s necessary to smash through the door of conformity. Standing at the threshold of that door is when you’ll feel your strongest fear.

Are you choosing your greatness, or are you afraid of it?

When you ponder the idea of personal greatness, what fears arise? Are they fears of success or of failure? Imagining these fears does not allow you to be powerfully present. These fears shackle you as the victim you’ve become, in a future that is yet to be.

“Great work is done by people who are not afraid to be great.” Fernando Flores

Consider this. If you aren’t deliberately working towards your greatness, then you are holding it away from you. There is no middle ground here. Your greatness is waiting for you to bring it forth. You either believe that it’s possible to be great in your chosen work or you do not.
You are either embracing your greatness or resisting it.

It’s astonishing that we all aren’t already on a definite path to greatness, because personal greatness is completely subjective. Whatever it means to you is the version of it you get to go for. You might covet the fame of celebrity, or a more personal excellence. Our uniqueness allows us to choose the version of greatness that brings us most alive.

Greatness is found by walking down the corridor of your uniqueness and to realize that greatness it’s necessary to smash through the door of conformity.

“Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” John F. Kennedy

It’s often our fear of standing out that keeps us from embracing our uniqueness and realizing our greatness. Conversely, the surest and swiftest route to greatness appears most readily to those who are comfortable flaunting their wildness. Not convinced? Then try making a case for being tame and appropriate. How has that served your deep delight and the world’s deep need?

In every aspect of living your greatness, you’d be aglow. You’d feel frequent flashes of personal magnificence while in the midst of your delightful work.

Friends, we all hold back – and as a result we end up far less than we might have been. I wanted to design an exercise that would shock me into rapidly shedding all the accumulated dross of life, so that I could see the gold buried beneath.

This exercise may seem unnecessarily brutal to some. That’s why I warned you. But its built-in urgency makes it highly effective. If you’re ready, you’ll need pencil, paper, a timer and 10 minutes to identify your buried greatness.

Imagine being locked in a room with 32-inch thick stonewalls and no way out other than a solid steel door. A ticking time bomb is set to explode within 10 minutes. It’s counting down giving you an alert every two minutes. There’s a laptop connected to the door lock and it will open if you answer correctly. You get five chances to walk out alive.

If your life depended on your ability to go within, ask for guidance and hold nothing back, what five answers would you write down to this question? Frame your responses to be about specific professions or businesses.  Dig deep for the most radically honest stuff because that’s the only way you’ll save you life!

What could I become or do that would sprout a definite seed to my certain greatness?

Go! Start the timer, pick up the pencil and write your five best guesses now. Then imagine entering them into the laptop to open the door to save your life.

Did you make it out alive? I got so viscerally absorbed in this experience that I hit a winning ticket on all five answers. I must confess that I was not taking action on any of them before this exercise. Three were old dreams and two were new realizations.

Now, what are you going to do with those answers? May I suggest that you select one and pledge to take action on it within the next 24 hours? Then take that action and you will be on the verge of seizing your greatness.

I’m challenging you to do the exercise and then comment on the accuracy of what you came up with. What did you realize as a result of being forced to save you own life?

Actually, by choosing your greatness – you truly will save your own life.

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