Discomfort Is Necessary For Transformation

Digging deep and really feeling the discomfort of transformational change is the fastest and surest way to business success.   You’ve got to feel the full pain and discomfort of where you are to transcend it.

The slow way to business success is to exhaust yourself on a worldwide search for an opportunity that already fits your current state of comfort.  Quit looking – they are disappearing faster than you can find them.

Well-paying, comfortable jobs with good benefits are rapidly disappearing.  Most of those remaining can be found within dyeing institutional bureaucracies.

If your work is without challenge and without discomfort then it’s already disappearing.

Look at the toll-takers sitting in little tollbooths on the turnpike.  Automated toll collection is far less costly.  These toll-takers have absolutely no uncomfortable challenges in their duties.   Thus they bring absolutely no transformational value to humanity.

If you really want to find work that makes your heart sing – then first look for challenges and value points that make you heart ache.

Look for messy opportunities that make others run because they are uncomfortable.  Only these opportunities matter in providing true transformational value.

If it’s not messy, it won’t hold meaning.  If it doesn’t mean anything, then it doesn’t matter to anyone.  If it doesn’t matter then the money won’t come because the value will be too low.

Top Ten Tips For Authentic Business StartUp Success

Can you really find authentic business startup success while being practical? Yes, it’s really the only way to be happy and make money.

If I had only 15 minutes to share the best business startup advice I tell you to use these tips as your guide.

1).  Starting your own business can be challenging so you can’t play small.  Don’t hold back or water down your desires. Go for the highest vision of what you can imagine, then you’ll have more energy and others will want to support you. Pioneers don’t compromise or conform. Business success comes from the energy of holding nothing back. Give it your all and prosper.

2). Hold a grand vision of what you want. See that vision daily. Get pumped if you can’t get pumped you’ve chosen too small. If I could wave the magic wand of outstanding success over you and your business, what would that look like? Imagine that. It’s the energy of how you feel and what you see that will carry you through the tough times.

3). Authentic business startup success does not usually happen without massive, inspired action. Learn the language of marketing and how to ask for what you want. Then ask boldly and often.

4). Try lots of stuff and smile when you fail.  If that traditional advertising campaign does not yield the results you expected, try something different — maybe an online advertising or social media campaign.  Love yourself for having the courage to make frequent mistakes. Mistake making is a normal part of the process. You will not succeed without missing the mark more often than not. Love yourself even more than you think is possible.

5). Place yourself compassionately in the shoes of your customers. Be vulnerable and connect. Be human and share how you are, like they are. Tell it like it is, authentically.

6). Enthusiastically love your work, yourself, your language, your marketing, your customers, your mistakes, your joy, your pain and your trials. Love it all deeply and completely. That’s the only way you’ll care enough to persist.

7). Hold frequent conversations. This is my best business startup advice. Conversations create opportunities. You’ll see things you couldn’t see previously, by listening and expressing authentically.

8). There is a deeper, purer river of meaningful service flowing within you and you must tap it in order to flourish and thrive. When faced with critical decision go deep within. Your heart knows the way. Your mind just wants to see what others will say.

9). Always look for the sunny side. It’s there. A new business startup will not succeed without sustained focus on what’s working well. Know, think about and talk about what you want. Leave the negativity to the nightly news. Only fools think and talk about what they don’t want. Park the self-judgment permanently.

10). Practice compassion, self-love and gratitude. Look for what you truly appreciate about yourself and your business. Be grateful and build on those.

When you want to get really clear on how to make the leap with confidence – apply here.

Ready Or Not – Here I Come

They call me intense.

I think that’s because I go deep and speak up, whether that’s comfortable for you or not.

Admittedly I’m a handful, especially if you think you aren’t ready to face the real stuff. One coaching client described working with me like diving into a cold lake. Our work together can be both invigorating and chilling, in all the right ways.

I like the way I am and I like others who can accept me as I am. Since I like me so much, I’m able to accept and champion you.

If you blow smoke or make flattering, inauthentic comments I’ll call you on it.

Being appropriate is the death of individuality.

I’d rather you express your wild, untamed self and join me in pissing all over cultural appropriateness.

If you want to play the game of appropriateness go work for the State Department or lose yourself in a big corporation.

But if you want to be real and make some money from your realness, you want a coach like me who will tell it like it is.

I like getting down and dirty into the messes of life. I thrive in relationship messes because that’s where all the growth comes from. Everything is a relationship.

It’s my way, to challenge you, with a smile on my face.

I love the way I am and I love the way you are, however you are.

I love how you are, as long as you are the real you. If you don’t know what that means – you’re faking it.

I love how you push my buttons because the resulting understanding is life’s greatest gift.

Happy Valentines Day my friend, May you be deeply loved and appreciated for who you truly are.

Stop The Madness

Get To The Heart of the Matter

All madness stems from too much head and too little heart.

I’m not talking about certifiable insanity but the regular, daily madness that drives us crazy.

The way out of any challenge is to find a point of hopeful willingness. That’s the point where you can clearly see a next step action and you feel inspired to take it.

That point doesn’t come from over-thinking. It doesn’t come from asking why. And it seldom comes from searching for a better how to. Those are all head games and head games are complex.

Instead you must get to the heart of the matter in two different ways.

1). The first way is to go deep, connect with your heartfelt desires and come from within out.

Ask yourself.

Deep in my heart what do I care about the most here? If I put my dear self first in an extraordinary demonstration of self-love what might I do? What do I really want?

If you are looking too much at outside conditions and circumstances you’re looking in the wrong place.

2). The second way to get to the heart of the matter is, to boil it down to its essence.

Brevity creates clarity and clarity empowers. Boiling it down best occurs with persistent, audacious inquiry. Ask yourself.

What’s really going on here? What else? If I could answer the question that would save my ass, what would that question be?

Stay with the inquiry until you hit upon a startling truth that smells very clean and fresh.

Combine that truth/action in service of what you really want and the madness will stop.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been down or what’s going on around you. What matters is in your heart. What matters is getting to core, boiled down clarity and acting now.

There is no limit to the number of fresh starts you can make.
Audacious inquiry will save you every time.

One Small Change For One Big Improvement

inspirational quotesChange just one thing about the way you think and every area of your life will get better, especially in the area of business and career.

In business we care way too much about what others think of us.

When making really critical career decisions we often look to others for career advice. Others can’t really give you the best advice. They always see things from their own perspective and through the filters of their own fears.

You’d be far better off to quit worrying about others and begin following inspirational career quotes like these.

Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire. ~ Dale Carnegie

Excuse me Mr. Carnegie but how about one step better than that? Why not accomplish something big instead of simply trying to?

Why should my happiness depend on the thoughts going on in someone else’s head? ~ Emerson

The right answer is – it shouldn’t. What someone else thinks, says or does, really has no bearing on your happiness unless you accept it as your truth.

You are the best the very best judge of what makes you happy.

You are the very best source of wisdom for your own career and life.

You, your thoughts, your choices and your actions determine your results.

There is a special livelihood calling you that you can turn into a business and make it successful because of your unique core makeup and life experience.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

The opinion of others only counts if you decide to make it part of your identity.

Claim your freedom from the tyranny of outside opinion. Declare your freedom today.

I’m Betting On Your Authentic Good Sense

Have you ever been left with a feeling of frustration and empty promises after watching a video from a big name guru? Here’s the tipoff. If they say it will be packed with lots of content – it usually isn’t.

I wasted about 12 minutes watching one recently because the link came from someone who I used to trust.

But I smelled the stink early and checked the comments and that made me feel good. Sure 90% of the comments were of the brown nosing variety but it was the 10% that spoke the truth.

Some of these guys are so good at repeating the “what” 20 different ways that they confuse you into thinking you missed the meat. You didn’t miss it. Real meat wasn’t served, only the come on.

Then I realized. I already know more about how to treat a seeker than this guy does.

I already care more, share more and know more, than this seemingly well-respected guru was willing to share in his entire 90-minute webinar.

I bet you’re just like me. I bet you’ve read enough and experienced enough to be of great value to many.

I bet you know what’s authentic and what’s bull.

I bet you’re more ready, than you think you are, for whatever big change you want to make.

Readiness is a choice not a state of being.

Who are you when you dream big? Be that person.

I’m betting that you’re ready to make your move, right now. You are the source of your best career change advice.

Sometimes we simply need to quit seeking. Sometimes we need to quit following the guru and become the guru.

How about you? Are you ready to put your authentic good sense on the line? I’m betting you are.

Leveraging Your Deepest Wound

We’ve all been through hell in one way or another. I’ve lived 60 years and I’ve met one person, a 30-year old woman who told me nothing bad had ever happened to her. Just two months later her husband ran off with a co-worker.

Stuff happens. You know by now that it happens to all of us. Some think that our experience was so beautiful, before we came here, that we wanted to visit Earth just for the contrast.

Well folks, for now I’ve had enough contrast. How about you? Are you ready to return to bliss?

I think the doorway to bliss runs straight through the pain and understanding offered by our deepest wounds. Whatever that profound life experience was for you, you would be well served to leverage it so that you could benefit from it.

Normally when we say “it’s all good” – it’s after a big hurt when we are coming to terms with a disappointment or an outcome that at the time was devastating.

You’ve paid the price why not claim the prize?

The wilderness constantly reminds me that wholeness is not about perfection…. I have been astonished to see how nature uses devastation to stimulate new growth, slowly but persistently healing her own wounds. Wholeness does not mean perfection: it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life. Knowing this gives me hope that human wholeness–mine, yours, ours–need not be a utopian dream, if we can use devastation as a seedbed for new life. Parker Palmer

Parker Palmer is a very wise teacher. He understands the value in devastation.

How about you? Are you leveraging the gift of your deepest wound or are you still running from its pain?

We don’t have to hit bottom to really learn these big lessons but it certainly gets our attention.

You could be leaving gold on the table. If this idea appeals to you just ask these three questions.

What’s good about my wound?

What has it enabled me to see that I could never have seen without it?

What message might I see if I dared look?

The Authentic Way – Both Alone & Together

Where are you most likely to express authentically? While in community or while being a strong individual?

The more we express our authentic uniqueness, the more likely we are to enjoy fulfillment, prosperity and freedom, …in a word success.

So if success is based on the expression of authentic uniqueness what causes you to feel safe enough and strong to express authentically?

In what environment are you more likely to take a stand? I’ve witnessed heights of individual expression within supportive community that could not have even been birthed walking alone.

But yet there is the beautiful paradox. Standing tall as individuals, pushing back at conformity, best occurs in a connected environment, with the support of others.

In order to come into your own, you must not stand-alone.

Parker Palmer endorses the paradox.

Your most beautiful and most valuable expression of authentic individuality cannot be reached by going it alone.

Being the rugged individual of American myth is actually less courageous, than standing tall in relationship.

Community inspires. Community provides connection and meaning.

The most loving, confident and strongest version of you only emerges in deep connection with others.

Be fully you, while being with me and we’ll see one another as we are meant to be.

Have you experienced bolder individual expression within community or by going solo? Have you experienced unconditional support?

Why Ask Why?

Frequently I run into life coaching clients who desperately dig to understand why they do or don’t do certain things.

They can see that these things aren’t working well so they reason, that if they understood their motivation, then they would cease repeating the wayward behavior.

Yet knowing why you persist in a behavior that’s not good for you won’t necessarily stop you from doing it.

I’ve coached lots of folks who did manage to understand that why and they still kept right on digging. They saw the real reason but didn’t accept it as the truth that it was.

Often things look too simple to be true. But they are.

So when faced with a recurring challenge it’s often fruitless to understand why. Why? Why is it fruitless?

Because the quest isn’t worth the prize. It often costs too much in expended energy for it to be worthwhile.

Often the quest for why will lead to a whole series of downward spiraling questions. Why am I like this? What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening to me? Why?

The quest for why often turns your attention and energy to more of what you don’t want.

The way to get what you want is to turn your attention and energy on what you want. Light that up!

So the next time you’re tempted to ask why, instead ask; what do I really want? Then ask, what would be likely to get me what I want? What could I do now to move just a little closer to what I want?

Then do that thing. You’ll be happier and much more productive.

Success Via Authentic Connection

I believe that the more we express our authentic uniqueness, the more likely we are to enjoy fulfillment, prosperity and freedom, …in a word success.

I believe that authentic expression counts for more than hard work and more than knowing the right thing to do.

Since success is based on the expression of your authentic uniqueness, what causes you to feel safe enough to express authentically?

What causes you to confidently express original thoughts?

In what environments are you more likely to take a stand?

You and I were meant to do something very special.  That’s why we are so unique.

But what if, in order to come into our own, we could not stand-alone?

What if your most beautiful and most valuable expression of authentic individuality, just couldn’t be reached by going it alone?

What if a certain part of you, (the most confident and strongest part) only emerged in deep connection with others?

What if the special music you came here to sing could not be sung solo?

If these words speak to you are interested in cooperative, authentic connection, let me know.